I'm new, and relieved, as i read in many other messages, that there are others that are going through the same things as i am. i am 22 and 29 weeks along with a healthy baby girl. i am really excited about everything that is happening and getting to meet her and all but i am also having a very hard time dealing with it alone. the father has not spoken to me since i told him i was preggo, he never said he didn't want to be there, in fact he said that he did and he didn't want his child to grow up with out him, but in the past months he has changed his phone number, quit his job, and moved making him impossible to find...he knows how to get a hold of me and obviously has not made the effort. it seems like everyone I know that is also pregnant is married or has a serious boyfriend, it will be so nice to talk to people who know how it feels to not have someone with you through it all.

Hi manda,
Welcome to SFV,I'm sure you'll love it here.I was pretty much in the same situation you are in,only alot older.My babies father said the same as yours did,"I will be there and I'll help out financially and I want to be a part of his life" and the best one of all"you can count on me".All lies.He shows up every couple of years at Christmas time and that's it,a couple of hours.I get no child support,which I don't recommend doing,make sure he helps you out financially.Other than that,you don't need him.You can do this on your own.I'm sure there will be alot of people there to help you,you aren't alone.It may seem like it at times but trust me,you aren't.It is one of ,if not the most,difficult things you will ever do,raising your child alone.But it is the most rewarding also.Hang in there,and remember,YOU DON'T NEED HIM.You'll have plenty of other single mothers ,and fathers,here to talk to.Congrats on your baby girl,have you picked out any names yet?Keep posting,it really does help to talk to others in the same situation. :welcome: :huggies:

hello manda,
I am new too so i figured I would just introduce myself here rather than beginning a new thread. My story is similar to yours and many other ladies aparently on this board. Which sucks. I was searching for some uplifting stories and came across this board full of women just like me. i don't know if it's my hormones but i find it all depressing. I wasn't even thinking of childsupport until now. this whole experience has left me jaded towards love. And my belief that men will shine. all i see is a group of strong women that somehow became mixed up with weak men. Maybe i'll tell my story one day but right now i'll cry...

Hello Manda and Lovelife,

Welcome to both of you. You two have just found several thousand new friends that understand your woes and your joys. Please stick around and join in.

Oh, and Manda, maybe you can get to know some of the great dads on the board to give you a realistic point of view about men. They my dear have instilled some new thought about whether or not all men are creeps. They are a great bunch of guys that offer support, a male point of view, and understanding of single parenthood. They are fine examples of "real men".

Wow, I amazed at how many women are going through the samething I am . I am also preganant and rescently found my fiance cheating on me. We also have a 2 year old together. I am so hurt and devastated. I moved to Florida to be with him and he does this to me.He promised things would be great. I have no friends or family here. I feel so sad and alone.

I will never ever understand people who do stuff like that. Unfortunately there seem to be a lot of them. If going back home is not feasible maybe you could reach out to the local Parents without Partners chapter.

Hi Manda
Don't waste your time with this guy. By doing what he has done should tell you that he doesn't care and is not grown up yet to take resposibility. Find yourself a REAL fatherly type who will cherish you and your daughter as if she were his very own. Don't mess around with him and his games and get a hold of your life. Have fun and enjoy you new beginnings. Keepa log of alll the things that you and her can do together and set your goals and don't wonder away from your goals. You and your daughter can and will have a happy life without this guy. PN

HI Manda
I am new as well..I just wanted to find out how things are going for you and to let you know that you aren't alone as you've heard many of the SFV family say..I too was a situation just similiar to yours..my daughters dad stuck around for a while but since he wasn't going to be there I would have rathered that he left..I was months pregnant when I found out that there was another women not to far away that was pregnant by him as well...needles to say things certainly didn't work out and he doesn't do for either of the children..It hurt me alot back then I didn't think that I could do it I was hurt and very confused but..i had to makes ome changes.... now my child keeps in touch with her brother and they are building a relationship it does seem hard at first but we as women are SOOO STRONG..we have some rough times but we seem to pull through...Your daughter will help you to do all that you need to....and Parenting is full of rewards if the men aren't there they miss out, we can't stress ourselves out about it...Take care of yourseld and your little baby girl...

I'm sorry to hear that. I have the same problem. My son's father made it clear from the moment I told him I was pregnant that he had no desire to be responsible for his son, even though he already has one child by his ex. It really upset. We broke up a week after he came home from Iraq. The only reason we didn't break up sooner is, apparently, he was worried that if he broke up with me that he wouldnt "get any" when he came home. Talk about a good reason...

Anyway, I am in the same boat as you 100%. Everyone I know that has a baby is either married on their way there. I know there are other people who are single with young babies, but I personally don't know any of them. So I'm here if you want someone to talk to.

Otherwise, best of luck to you and keep your head up.

Also, where in Washington state are you from? I used to live in Puyallup.

I know it is hard to manage alone, but I believe in luck, I feel that whatever happens is for our good. Good luck !!

Hey! I went through almost the exact same thing. My boyfriend moved to Cali. with his mother and we were together off and on since the 7th grade. He moved in Aug. of '06 and came back in Oct. And jason was born in Nov. All that time I would call and wait for him to call and I was missing him and looking like a fool. It really was a very painful time in my life becasue I put this guy on a pedastal and he never really deserved it. We were in love but wernt ready for a baby. Now that Jason is here, we have broken up and I found out the hard way that he had been cheating on me since july BEFORE he left. He only sees Jason when I bring him over, he has no car, a dead end job and he dosent have any respect for me (obviously). On the other hand, I do still love him and I have respect for him as a person and as the father of my child. Now my best advice for you is to take the time and think, Is this the kind of thig you want to stress over, or do you want to continue with your healthy pregnancy and raise your daughter to be the best person that she can be?
We cant just sit and wonder about what is the dad going to do. That was my problem, I would always ask him what is he going to do. But the thing is what am I going to do as a woman, a mother, the main person that Jason will depend on for the rest of his life. If your guy steps up to the plate, then that is great, if not just continue your life with your beautiful baby that will be here soon and do the best you can. We must remember that at one point in time we thought highly of the fathers of our children. The children didnt ask to be here, it was OUR act that made them get here. For the next 18 years we have a responsibility to these kids and we have got to do it. I hope this helps a little bit. Luv Ya!!

Hey Carla!
Dont be filling her head full of fantasies... all of men are creeps... Geez Carla ... you're gonna destroy my "bad boy" image I'm working on...dangit. LOL

Hi Amanda,
welcomme to this group !
I am sure you will feel better here.

i am in a very similar situation and would love to chat. I know what you mean about meeting other preggos that have a supportive man...I,like you, don't have that, either! Mt email is: Cheetah42183@adelphia.net