I recently found out that I am pregnant. I was just getting my life in order. I returned to college and was working on my degree. When I found out I told the father who I am very much in love with.

He insisted that I get an abortion and when I told him no he decided his best tactic would be to scare the **** out of me because I don't have a car or insurance (things I gave up trying to pay for college).

He told me it is my choice and that means he doesn't have to have anything to do with it. It broke my heart. He talked so many times about having kids with me and now he won't even speak to me.

I feel so alone and so angry. He doesn't want his family to know. There are quite a few doctors in his family who would be able to help me but according to the baby's dad he is not related to my baby and neither is his family.

I just don't understand how he could turn so cold.

I have severe morning sickness and my back is killing me and I feel so sad and alone. I hope this passes.

Hi ginthefer, I read your post and I'm so sorry to hear this. This is the same EXACT scenario that I am currently in. The only difference is that I am 7 months pregnant. Baby's dad is not and does not want any parts of the pregnancy or baby.

Your question: HOW COULD HE TURN SO COLD?...

that's the million dollar question! I figure they become scared and the best way for them to deal with this set of circumstances is avoidance no matter who it effects. Extreme selfishness sets in and theres no convincing them.

Listen.. He can say whatever he wants like: the baby is no relative of his or his family but the reality is... BINGO!!! the baby IS 50 percent his genetic makeup no matter how much he want to avoid and deny! I am sooooooo sorry for you because I know how you feel. You want to cry, scream, get a hug, be comforted but all you have is you. I purchased some books that helped me through my loneliness and also helped me to see some things in a realistice sense.

You have decided to keep your baby (BRAVO!). You could have taken the other route which is your choice but you made a decision so try to be strong and not waiver.

How long ago did this happen? Is there any chance of him decompressing and having a change of heart? Do you have any friends or a support system that you can lean on.

I have to say, my close friends got me through those depressing cries and angry screams and wanting to rip the dad apart. Also, I sought counseling and my therapist really helped me to step back into reality...a little. I am not going to say that I am all better but I have found a way to become part of the world again.

Try not to seclude yourself. I did. That will make you sink so far into depression you won't be able to see your way out. Talk to someone! Take steps to ensure your mental health. What you're going through is not easy. Its a wonderful thing that you aired your feelings here on SFV. Everyone is great and believe it or not there are a lot of people that are or have been where you are right now.

Those that weigh in have great feed back. I will conitinue to check in on you and will continue to keep you in your prayers. Once God blesses you with a child you have to be sure to stay strong and healthy for him/her. If you need to cry then get it out just try not to sing too far into a slumber. You are a Strong woman and eventhough you don't have answers or see how this is going to work...it will.

sorry for the typos. I know you understand what I meant. Keep your head up!

Sorry one thing I forgot. You said that you were getting your life in order...YOu still can. Try not to think that life is over you just may have to redirect your priorities and multitask a little more(i know..easier said than done) But look at all of the moms here that work and go to school and manage to be single moms/dads. There is a way to get it all done. Don't count anything out! ok i'm done for now...lol

Thank you so much. It is funny how much words on the internet from someone who understands can mean.

My friends have been very sweet. None of them are "kid people" but you can't tell because they re already all crazy about me having a kid because they think I will be a good mom because I am big old sentimental sap. My family is positive, too. They are kind of far away though.

So many things are changing. I need to move because I live with a friend who is not into children, I need to get a car.... My head is spinning and not just from the crazy morning sickness. hehe.

You're so right about wanting to tear Alex apart. He used to tell me all the time that he wanted to be a dad. It is more me that he is done with than the idea of the baby. He just got a very good job and his life is much better than mine. He will miss out on the best and worst of it though. I understand that. I know he is moving soon and I hope he gives me his address because even if he doesn't want to have anything to do with the baby I want to send him pictures so he knows what he is missing out on.

The only person I know with any children is my brother's girlfriend and they live about an hour away. I am going to have to make some momma friends.

I think therapy is a great idea, too. I spend enough time crying I might as well do it in a helpful environment. I need to find out my options on finding some affordable therapy within walking distance of my house.

I have not been out of bed much since I found out I am pregnant due to severe morning sickness. So I have been isolated a bit. My room mate is at least here for me.

You are right to call it extreme selfishness. Alex is doing so well right now. He makes more than twice as much money as I do and came from a well off family. He just bought himself a Vespa, a flat screen tv and all kinds of other **** but me asking for a ride to the doctor is like me asking for a kidney.

Thank you for the kind words and support. It is so nice to see mommies coming together like this to support one another. It gives me a little more hope for all our kiddos. <3

Back to resting. I am tired of being tired already. hehe.

Well you sound a little better. But whether he leaves his address or not remember him supporting his child financially is not an option. I pray that he takes some time to think about how stupid he's being. Atlest you have your roomate there with you. Take the time you need to think things through and take all of the help people are willing to give.

Some of your anger will pass as your baby begins to grow inside of you and you feel that little body moving around. But believe me your feelings are legitimate ones!

All of our babies are gonna be just fine. If we mommies didn't already love them we wouldn't be reaching out to connect with each other.

If you are a student you may be able to seek counseling through your student insurance. You don't have to do it by yourself. Get some rest.