I hate to even say this...I feel like I am a terrible mom�that I don�t deserve this beautiful little girl.

I have a 4mo old daughter. We have been on our own since I was 3mos pregnant. The father pretty much walks in and out of her life. I have a full time job that works crazy hours; some days I work until 10 at night and turn around to be back at 9 in the morning. She is in daycare during this time, and when I get off at 10 I drive 20min to pick her up and needless to say we finally get home around 11 and off to bed. Then I finally get to bed around 1 (if I am lucky).

My father made a comment about my debt, and I told him that my pay check only goes so far, and I have to live some how. He also made a comment about my grocery shopping�I told him when I find the time I will go. When do I go at 2 in the morning lugging around a 4mo old baby.

I am losing my patients. It seem every time I try to get ready for work. Try to write out bills or even clean the house (which my house hasn�t seen in I don't know how long) she start being cranky; want to be held or whatever. I get so upset especially when I am trying to get out of the house for work. And, I yell at her and try to explain to her (not in a very nice tone) that I need to get ready (like she really knows what I mean). I am scared that I am going to crush her spirit by yelling. What can I do? I am so tired�stress; that I just want to disappear.

It seems that nobody understands my life.

cheer up!! it's okay and you're not a bad mom. it seems to me that you are trying to do the best you can for your daughter. i know how you feel about loosing your temper with a child. i've been there. just be careful and if you need to, just walk away for a few minutes(leaving the baby in a safe place, of course).
good luck!!!!!!
tasha

Yep, kids want you all the time.

I learned the hard way about "THE SLING"

A great invention, just strap your child on you, they end up content, and you can get the cleaning done, and you get your exercise to boot.

Hope that helps

Robin

Yep, I agree about the sling... that saved my butt a number of times when K was that little. One thing to keep in mind... I know it's hard, but she picks up a lot of what's going on with you. If you're stressed, she feels it, and that's what makes her feel insecure and want a snuggle. My daughter is 2 1/2, and she *still* is greatly affected by my mood. I've learned to swallow it as much as I can until I get to work, but I still slip... I yell at her sometimes when we're trying to get out the door in the morning and she's taking her sweet time, or at night when we get home and I'm tired, and all she wants is to snuggle or play with me... and all I can think about is the dishes, the laundry, the house that is in desperate need of cleaning... when I slip, I take a time-out, then I come back and hug her and tell her I love her and I'm sorry, that Momma is just tired and didn't mean to yell. Then, I make a deal with her... we do something she wants for X amount of time, then she gets to pick a video to watch and I do things that need doing. After that, she gets more time from me, and then a bath... I'll do still more things while she's in the bath (bring laundry into the bathroom and fold it, or clean the bathroom, for example) everything else waits to get done until she goes to sleep. I know it's hard, but you have to do it... they're so little they think everything is their fault, or that if Mom is upset something horrible must be wrong... it's so important for their self-esteem to realize that it's not their fault. Somewhere like this to vent is very important, and will help you a lot to get the stress out so you can deal with it. Good luck!

hey i do under stand your situation. i have be going through it for almost seven years now. by the way YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM only one that's trying to be a normal mom. hey i have yelled at my son when he was only two months old and have cried with him a times. now that he is six i still tend to take out my angry on him. i feel so bad when i yell at him because he can't get his shoes on fast enough for me. the best advice that was given to me by my son's doc was just walk away and give yourself time to calm down. it will not hurt a child to cry for ten secs or 10 mins. i mean have you ever heard of a child hurting themsleves because they cried at two months or six years. this gives both of you time to cool down.

but you know what it does get better as they get older. when i'm down or sad my son is my best cheerleader. he says things like mommy don't me sad or it's only a silly thing to get mad about anyways. i find that he supports me just as much as i support him.

don't worry you will not mental mess up your daughter no more than the mommy who has a daddy present. no one is perfect even though there are parents that like to think they are. the hard times i have been throught with my son he is still a smart, happy and adjusted child. i feel we have both learned from the good as well as the bad time.

well enough of this book but what i'm trying to say is don't be down on yourself because you will miss all the good times you have with your daughter (remeber those times when things get bad it helps.)

good luck smvt )REMEBER TO SMILE ALEAST THREE TIMES A DAY!