Hi everyone! I am antcipating my first child...a son. I wrote about it on the 30 simething board if you're interested. CHILD CARE...hmmm..where do you start??! I am freaking out bacause when I go back to work (and I have no choice) my son will only be 4 months old. Not old enough to speak for himself and totally dependant! I am sick about it. I wanted to find a 'grandma type' to come to my home as not to remove him early every single day. Then I thought about a nanny service (expensive but I'll do it) until I saw a nanny on the news (from the mom's nanny cam) dangling her child from 1 foot, letting him fall between the couch cushions and jerking him be the collar at 6 months old. She received rave referrals from her previous bosses; she was supposed to be one of the best! Thank God for the Nanny cam. And Day Care is totally out (for me). They don't get enough attention, too many germs and I'm just not comfortable with it. How does one make a sound decision like this when there are no family members present. I work from 7-4 and then from 5:30 -7 pm. I know it a lot but...what can you do. Does any one have any feedback about this? I know that it is personal but I'd like to hear what other single parents have done. Thanks!

Well, there are good quality [insert type of child care here] and poor quality [insert type of child care here] in every community. That goes across the board. Baby sitter, nanny, chain daycare center, in home private daycare, etc.

The trick is to be very specific in what you are looking for, and to take the time to interview and visit any person/place you are considering.

When I was faced with the child care decision, I searched my area for private, in home daycares. I interviewed several local places, and eliminated places for all kinds of reasons. One place smelled too musty, one place had too many boys, and another lady let the kids run in and out of the house eating out of a bag of chips while the TV was on.

The last place I went to was bright, colorful, and had developmentally appropriate / educational toys for the kids. When I met the owner, she instantly washed her hands at the sink and asked if she could hold my daughter. I got such a good feeling from her, and my daughter ended up spending four wonderful years at that daycare.

I always felt comfortable popping in at any time unannounced, and created a relationship with the person outside of our childcare arrangement. We'd have her over for dinner, and she often invited us to stay over there, too.

I know I'm lucky - I found a fantastic situation. But I believe there are a lot of quality places / people out there.

My advice to you is to take it slow and plan on lots of time finding a person you trust.

I'm in the same boat. I have a son who will be 7 in May, so it's not as stressful as finding somewhere who will take good care of a pre-verbal child. If there is a problem Sean tells me about it. He's a very kind, friendly, extraverted boy so he loves being with all the other children in the daycare at his school (early drop-off, late pick-up: 6:30am and 6:30pm).

My problem is that my job sometimes requires me to travel from 3-6 days at a time. I need to find a way for Sean to stay in school AND have care while I'm away. I have an average commute of about 2 hours to work (DC rush hour) so I haven't been able to meet many of my neighbors or know them well enough to ask them to care for Sean while I'm gone, I have no family who can help, and I'm nervous about who to let stay in my home while I'm gone. I just found out yesterday that DSS has services to help in my situation. I will give them a call and I'll let you know what I find out.

Daycares require a lot of research. As what CaptMatrix said, I also went through a lot of them until I found one that was just awesome. The woman there is great! They have a whole program, the others kids were happy, she paid attention to the kids and my Kai hugged her on the first day. Which is rare for Kai as she doesn't like people touching her . . . just like her mommy. I like my bubble dang it!

Anyway, you will know when you find the right one. If you get any "bad" or "weird" vibes, then they are probably right on.

This is your child so you can be as picky as you want to be. I chose a group home and Kai has been happy there for 2 years. She loves it! The daycare she is at is nothing short of great.

I wish you luck on your choice!

Just as some added info:

- Children learn social skills in daycare settings and educational skills

- Germs are at any daycare, house or place you go. Children who are not exposed to germs are more likely to get severely ill when they finally are exposed. Germs are everywhere . . . not much you can do about that.

- Your child needs socialization and to be able to rely on other people other than yourself for comfort, necessities, etc.

Hi there,
I'm no expert on this, but I may have a bit of information from my experience for you.

First of all, I've worked as a nanny and as a daycare provider out of in and out of high school, and then as an art teacher in a Montessori while my daughter was attending. I also had to put my daughter in daycare before she was even 8 weeks old, because I was afraid to lose my job as an auto parts manager. (I live in a very small town-moved a couple of years here before she was born-and jobs are scarce, especially good jobs).

Anyway, from the experiences I have had, I can be honest with you and tell you that there are, of course, ups and downs with all childcare possibilities. I will tell you, however, that even though you MIGHT get higher quality care with a personal nanny or an at-home daycare, you will be much better off SAFETY-wise, with an institutionalized childcare facility (like a childcare or daycare center that is commercial and not in someone's home). The reason I believe this, is because there are actual classroom settings (even for infants) that divide age groups into appropriate ratios of children per teacher and are overlooked by directing staff who run the office and check each classroom constantly.

At home daycares CAN be a good thing, if you completely TRUST the person who is watching your child. This is difficult when we are talking about tiny infants who cannot communicate to you their experiences. The same goes with a personal nanny. Although the instances of abuse are rare, they do happen, and they (in my opinion) are better caught/prevented in a facility where someone is overseeing someone else's care, rather than the one who is watching your child being the only one witnessing anything.

Not to scare you, I just wanted to give you my input after years of an institutionalized daycare, then a home daycare, then a babysitter/nanny, and then finally Montessori. I've had experiences on both ends (as a parent and a childcare provider) and truly believe that the institutionalized facility might be the best way to go in the beginning. When your child is older, I HIGHLY recommend Montessori or Headstart. Good luck!

P.S.
I completely agree with Smshybug. Emmalee, my 7 year old, is a social butterfly and we NEVER get sick. She was exposed to everything in daycare, and though it was rough while she was little catching everything, it's a lot easier than her having everything now and missing school.
Again, good luck, and don't worry- it's hard the first couple of days, but it gets easier for both of you. My niece is going to the same daycare that my daughter went to and she pretty much looks at me and smiles and then starts playing and she's 5 mos. old now (been going for a month or so). They have fun socializing and learning to be away from mom and be with others.