im a 21 year old mom of a 16 mo old son...i attend school full time and recently have had to get a full time job...because of that spending time with my son seems to be only on a part time basis...i spend every second i can with him...i enjoy playing and cuddling but sometimes im so tired and drained all i can think about is putting him and myself to bed at 7:00...i feel as if all the days are blurred together and im just the living dead...i assume this is all part of single-parenting...im sure there are more in the same situations as i am...thanx for listening...praise God for his beautiful smiling face! thats what gets me through each week...

hang on in there - I went through exactly the same thing when I was 21 my son was 2 and I did the college and work thing - remember you may feel as if you are taking from him at the moment as you are so tired but you are building a future for him- I used to feel so bad for my lad as going to college meant less time with him and less money than if I had been on state assistance other single parents I knew at the time seemed to have more money, time and energy to say the least and I really used to question why I put myself throught the stress. Keep faith, I now look at those single parents and their kids and compare and boy were my efforts rewarded, my son is 16 now and in further education, seeing me study was a good foundation for him, our standard of living is good and he has always had what he needed, he has had good holidays and quality times together. The upside is that it also means I lived a hard decade years ago but the rest of my life is set for a good standard of income etc. I can't tell you the poverty I brought my son into when I had him - I look back now and it is mindblowing compared to the life I lead know - don't get me wrong i am not clever I struggled with my studies and it took me years to gain all my qualifications ( I did not have any at all)due to the fact that in my country I was the first person to try and study with a dependant - Zero state assistance and no childcare facilities - I can not tell you the stress - but by God it was worth it - 5 -7 years of severe hardship = good standard of life and job I love and am respected for. I am babbling a bit but my point is obvious stick with it, I swear its worth it and it does no harm to the kids. Heres a little trick I used to do with my son to stop myself feeling guilty of neglecting him. I trained him to cuddle up on the couch or my bed ( remember its quality not quantity of time together)and I would spend 15 mins rubbing his back etc loving him, he would love it and I didn't feel guilty for being exhausted and willing him to sleep - it was our special time, no matter how hectic things were that was our time, which graduated into reading time and as he got older it was our talking time, so don't feel guilty - I can assure you even I look forward to my 4 year old daughter going to bed at night. Don't push your self to much thought sometimes its better to take 5 years to get results rather that 3 years, spread your course out, pace yourself its not a race. I hope my experience gives you some hope. Make a good life for yourself but don't run yourself into the ground, maybe get this years exams done and then take a year out and then go back the following year to continue, thats what i used to do so that I could keep up with my finances and have more time with my son, it takes a little longer but who cares eh!
Good luck, By the way I am 35 now with a good future - keep up your studies it is worth it.

Amen Caley!

Stick with it! It will be worth it in the long run, for both of you. It is hard, been there done that, but you both will soon reap the rewards. Take care of yourself and everytime you feel down, overwhelmed, or just plain tired, just think of your future and what it can hold! *big hug to both of you*

I know how you feel. I have 1 son and work full time and trying to go back to school!! It wears you down so bad sometimes you feel like you can't go another day, but I think about my son and how much better off he will be when I complete my degree. Hang in there!!

Big Woohoos for all of you! It will pay off for all of you. Hang in there and good luck.

Hey I'm in the same boat guys! I have a one year old son and I go to school full time and work as well. Life is crazy but some how I find a way to juggle all the balls given to me. Although i don't spend as much time as I would like with my son and I barely have any energy I know that in the end it's the best thing for the both of us. Good luck to everyone!
Melissa

Girls,

I want to tell you this as many times as I can. Hang in there. It does get better! I was in the same boat as you guys and now my girls are 15 & 6. I own my own home, car, both my girls take sports, activities, etc. We are doing ok. You guys will soon. : )

Hutch is soooooo right!
Girls hang in there, get those qualifications in whatever area you are interested in. I know its hard, but believe in the difference its going to make to the rest of your life, you could spend 5 years balancing parenting, education and jobs but remember you have another 50 odd years to benifit. Like Hutch I have 2 kids I had my son when I was 18, became homeless, had no qualifications as I had to leave school and provide for myself as my mother ran off. I can not tell you the poverty I brought my son into the world. Now (and I have a 4yr old -yep did it again) I have been a single parent for 17 years ( my choice) I have a great job ( not high executive or anything as I am a mother first not a career women)
nice car, a nice house, no debt or loans to pay - I can more a less do what I want (although the days are short)my kids do not go with out and I have savings - yes savings -money with no where to go (for a while)imagine that!!!. It is only getting my qualifications that improved my life, so you girls hang on in there and perservere - I hated studying, absolutly found it as difficult as can be, but I am glad I did it now I am 35. Why put yourself through it - because statistics show that a young single mom from a dysfunctional home with little or no education will live their whole life in the poverty trap up until they enter the grave - well a few of us have proved them wrong, and I would like to see you girls succeed to - there is a wonderful world out there don't let your upbringing, ignorance or low self esteem hold you back. Picture yourself in 7 years time and where you want to be and who you want to be - then every time you feel like quitting or you feel you cant do it or cope with it all remember that picture of you and your kid/s in 7 years and you will get there. I look back on that 16yr old sleeping on the street with her whole life mapped out in front of her -NOTHING! that girl could never have imagined she would be sitting in her own private office like I am today - because the world looked down on her and told her she would amount to nothing - yeah right!!!! Anyway my as per usual long drawn out point is don't give up - if i can do it you all can and get your freinds to go to college, you can motivate them and help them believe in themselves. It took me 10 years to convince my part time shop working friend that she was bright and could achieve more - eventually at 36 she went to college ( to prove to me that she was thick - as she put it)as she had three kids and was fed up just coping (she had no qualifications at all) Guess what she will be 40 next month and in June will qualify as a Social Worker.

Any one else want to share with the young ones what is out there for them.