Everyday just seems to become more unbearable, what is one supposed to do when they get sick of life, but don't have the option of killing themselves? I want to be happy again, be able to smile again. i want to be able to love my son unconditionaly. I want to be able to drive my car w/out crying, having to slap myself because am fallin asleep. I want to be able to control the idea of stop hurting my body - the problem is eating unhealthy food's comforting to me. If asked am not one of those mothers will start crying and say 'being a mom is the greatest thing in the world, there's nothing like it! Guessing the moms who say that aren't single and have support all around. Mainly, I want 2 b luvd, 've that support group around me, loving mother, content, not tired, energy - I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!!!!

Dear asayo:

I want to first say that I am sending you big hugs of support from Colorado, and I can understand completely how you feel...so, first note here, remember, you are NOT alone, and this group here will start you off with the biggest "welcome to the family" and let you know that while it seems a looooooong way off at times, life will get better, and you can be in control - make it happen!

First, I am originally from California, and knowing a bit of San Jose, get out the local phone book or surf the web for support groups for single parents in your area -- check out your local church (I know for many of us, being a single parent can sometimes be a catalyst in finding a church that doesn't "frown" upon our situation, but keep looking, I know the Calvary churches are a good place to start -- a non-denominational Christian church) for support groups, and while I do not know your financial situation, if you have Medical, you can usually find a counselor or therapist that will accept that as payment, OR find a center near you that will take you on a sliding scale basis...my point here is that you need to talk to someone, someone who will let you know that the feelings you are going through are ones that we have ALL gone through, and that again, you can gain control of your life once again, and the best part is that you will learn to SMILE again!

Easy? Not in the least, but take it from one who was abused by her ex, lost her children to foster care (I did get them back, oh joyous day in June of 2002!), am a recovering addict (2 years and 4 months as of TODAY!!), lost my home of 9 years, couldn't find work for the life of me, had to move to Colorado to find work (whew! I better take a breath here! LOL!), and while it has been a rough road, and by far we are not out of the woods yet, at the age of 44, I finally see that while there are still tough times ahead, I do have a future for the girls and I!

Do not despair, and if you need to talk, feel free to PM me anytime -- you can get through this, and you have made the first most positive step by posting here...we are with you all the way, and remember, the best rememdy is knowing that you can vent here at any time, and that while we may not hold all of the answers, everyone here is willing to assist you in guiding you!

My friend, I am new to this too. As you can see I goofed already trying to post. It's quite difficult to be a Mom - it's not a job all of us can handle. Many hugs and walla wallas to you too. Keep your head up. Schedule time on your calendar for yourself - some Mommie time - I tell my kids when I get overwhelmed - Mommie needs a time out! They understand and give me my space. Now granted it wasn't always like that - especially when they were young, but, I'd get them settled and - go chill out in a nice warm bath until I could regroup. Just knowing sometimes that you have a scheduled free time out - does make a diffence. Get you a good book to read, call your friends, get a sitter or send them to your Mom's or girlfriend's for a couple of hours - to get yourself refreshed! But, remember what does not kill you only makes you stronger. Jesus is with you - and with his love - he'll help you work it all out.

From the sounds of it, you need counsoling, we can offer you much support here, but I think you need professional help, if not for yourself do it for your children.
In the mean time take a break. Even if its 10 minutes a day. You need some time for you. If you have any family or friends in the area ask for help, ask them to watch the kids, so you can have a couple of hours to your self, for a movie, read a book, take a bubble bath.
No one ever said single parenting was easy, but it does have it rewards. All the kiss's, hugs, and little snuggles can help you get through this.

How many kids do you have?

Asayo,

That which we believe in our conscious mind manifests itself in our subconscious and makes itself true over time.

As a single father of an active 8 year old, I have been through all of that which you are going through right now. Believe me, I know the difficulties, the trial and the tribulations. But I also know the many joys of watching my son grow up as well. Once I was able to get past the majority of the difficulties, life started presenting itself so much more for me.

First, Find a professtional to talk to that will show you its ok to allow yourself to believe you will be better. Right now it seems you don't believe it yourself.

Next, set in your mind what kind of life you want with the circumstances you have and go out and get it. We can do anything we set our minds to. Negative thoughts only make it so we stop ourselves from happiness, peacefulness and loving relationships.

Finally, cherish that lil person that is in your life because he is all that is good.. all that is pure and loves you so much.. He relies on you for guidance and support.

Take care.. best of luck to you and if you need anything, I am but a message away..