Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online Single Parent Forums Dealing With Depression I've failed them|
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I am New to SFV |
All my lie all I ever wanted to be was a mom. I love my kids more than anything in the world. They were in my custody but then I ended up in hospital and he got them. Didn't really want them, just didnt'want to pay child support. That was three years ago and for a while things were ok for them. Now they are so sad and unhappy. My little guy tells me he hates his dad and that little girlfriend of his that treats both of my children worse than trash while thier father just sits back and says nothing for fear of losing her. They beg me week after week to do something. To get them out of there. Ask why can't they come live with me. I feel like the worst mother in the world. It's my job to protect my babies. To keep their little tender hearts safe from people like their father and his so called girlfriend. He cares more about her than them and they sure do know it. I cann't afford an attorney to fight him in court. I want my babies here with me. I didn't have them to be a part time mom. I know there are moms out there who can't see their babies at all and I can see mine but the end of every visit tears all of our hearts out. I cry myself to sleep. I know they are hurting and I feel like there is nothing I can do to take that away from them or even make it better because even though I know it is good that I am there for them when they are here with me we all know that they have to go back to the mess at their dads.....
 Im at my wits end here....does anyone have any suggestions???thanks - julie |
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Getting My Feet (Board) Wet |
Hi sorry to hear whats going on right now in your life,how old are the children?.Dose your ex have full custody by the courts?All i can say is that if it was me and the courts havnt given ,and it's just his say(there living with me stuff you),I would be inclined to take them back ,wait for them outside of the school etc take them and go!These are my thoughts and i dont know your full story of how your ex got to have them full time,so think carefully before you go doing anything.Do u have your own place,work etc?I'm just thinking what i would do if my ex did that to me.
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I am New to SFV |
Hi- Thanks for responding to my post. My daughter Samantha is 11 and my little boy Kyle is 8. In the begining my ex got an emergency order of custody, before I was discharged from the hospital he got residential custody awarded to him by the courts. The only reason he did it was because he saw his chance to get out of paying child support. Every penny I got from him for the kids was spent on the kids. I made sure they had everything they needed and wanted really. Right now I would take them whether or not he payed me child support just to rescue them from the chaos they are living in with him and his girlfiend. What is being done to them emotionally will follow them the rest of their lives. I dread the day that one of them say to me "If you loved me so much, then why didn't you get me out of there?" I feel stuck. I can't afford an attorney. I'm on disability right now and he wants $1800 just for a retainer so that is out of the question. I just don't know what else to do . I have been trying not to think about it today but the more I try not to think about it it seems the more I do. Really all I want to do now is just go to bed and pray this is all just a nightmare. I will hang in there though...because these are my babies...they are my heart and I refused to give up. Thanks for being there for me - Julie |
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I am New to SFV |
Its hurtful, to hear that your children cannot be with you. You have a right to have them, and you will. That you hired an attorney (I hope, he specializes in family law)to help you, is a step in the right direction. I know you are desperate but be patient and work with your attorney. After separating from my wife, she refused to let me see my girls. She offered to let me see them only after signing all divorce papers. I hired a lawyer and he told me, she did not have the right todo that. My lawyer, then had her served with papers (court ordered)in order to get her to attend a mediation class. Ideally, courts want both parents to have access to their children. However, if the parents are fighting and cannot decide on what's best for the children, the courts (judge)will dicide. Stay positive and please be patient, I will pray for you.
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Learning to Surf The Board |
I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I can't even begin to imagine how bad it has to hurt. I would think that you would qualify for legal aide considering you are on disability. that or see if you can get a lawyer to do it probono. I hope something comes around for you and good luck hun!
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I am New to SFV |
What attracted me to your post is "I've failed". I said those words in my last appt with my therapist and she was quick to stop me and say...don't say you've failed because it feeds depression. Say that this is what I need to work on.
I'm sorry to hear about your situation and can understand that you would feel that way but you haven't failed. It's not over yet. I have a situation where my sons father is allowed only supervised visits. The Department of Social Services backs me up and there is no better organization to have on your side in court. Contact them tell them your situation and that your children are being neglected and emotionally damaged by the situation they are in, and that you need help. They will act. At least in my experience they do. They can help you find low cost/free legal services in your area as well. I hope everything works out for you and your children. When I have had difficult things to face (mulitplied X10 bcus of my depression)I tell myself over and over, I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. Hang in there. |
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On the Board |
How about you take the kids and tell your ex he doesn't have to pay child support. But, tell him he can see the children if he wants to and keep your word. Chances are very likely he will stop seeing them altogether (which is probably okay with you if the children are being treated like poop). Can you make it w/o his support? I know it'll be tough but you can probably make some sacrifices here and there. I don't know your situation, so I can't say for sure. But, it's something to consider. |
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Parent on Board |
here is info on free legal aid in your state call them to see if you qualify. also look under supportguidelines.com and click on your state
Legal Aid gives legal advice to low-income people. Legal Aid offices also represent low-income people in court. All of these services are completely free At some Legal Aid offices, there are lawyers who know a lot about housing issues. Other Legal Aid offices focus more on family law. The best approach is just to call up your local Legal Aid office and see what happens. There are also a number of other programs that provide legal services for free to low-income people. To get a list of all the programs in your area, try getting in touch with Texas Lawyers Care at (800) 204 -2222 ext. 2155. |
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