Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online Single Parent Forums Dealing With Depression Anybody Else Depressed?|
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Active Board Parent |
I have been down for over a month now. It seems to get worse every week. I am talking serious depression, like life really isn't worth living. If I didn't have my child I really think I would end it.
I have a long history of depression, but it has never been like this before. I really don't see any hope for the future. I have not been in a relationship with a woman since my wife and I split 6 years ago. I really don't believe I will ever again. 6 years is too long. If it was going to happen I think it would have happened. I have been on a couple different kinds of anti depressants. They work for a few months then I go right back to being depressed. I have been in and out of therapy for 20 years. Nothing works. What is wrong with me? Is there any one else who is battling this? Sad to say my daughter is depressed too, just not as bad (I think). Her mother died 3 years ago and she's been living with me full time ever since. I had her 50% before that. I hate to think my daughter will end up like me; having a totally bleak outlook and not being able to find any joy in life. |
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I am New to SFV |
bikejon You are not alone. I admire you for seeking help that is a first step in recovery even though it helps only for a short time. |
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"Parent on Board" Forum Board? No- KeyBoard! |
Dude, 6 years is not to long, well its long, but it doesn't mean there is no hope. I am allmost 48 years old, there is a bit of a shock in starting over at that age, but I am a bit to stubborn to rollover and let life mow me down. It will come bro, just takes some time. Oh yes, at times I am depressed, but I push on cause of my kids.
Oh on taking meds, you have to go in and get them ajusted often in tell your body finds its balance. Usually your doctor visits will be monthly tell you find that balance, then go to ever 3 months. There is no evidence that depression, manic depression, scitsophrenia, or any of the above is genetic. My ex is a full blown scitso, off her meds and on the run, we havent talked to her in over a year now, my kids are perfectly fine. be cool bro, at peace |
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"Still plugging along" At A loss for Words - NOT! |
Bikejon, you are certainly not alone. I have been fighting depression for a long time myself. (Over 20 years). Like Paul said, you have to get your meds changed every so often. I was on one med for so long that worked great, and didn't understand why it wasn't working anymore, even though my doctor pushed up the stregnth more than triple. He changed my meds and found two that worked together well, but I gained 10-15 pounds in 3 weeks! I wasn't depressed, but I was getting fat! (Which was making me depressed, LOL). Anyway, he changed it again to something different, and it's been working fine. Like my therapist told me, there's soooo many meds out there, you just have to find the right one. Don't give up, bikejon. I do know how you feel, where NOTHING makes you happy, nothing. I never thought about taking my own life because of my state of mind, but not even my daughter could pull me out of it. It was horrible. All I did was cry on and off all day. Plus, I was having a hard time affording the doctor, the therapist, and my medicine, which doesn't help. My daughter is in therapy now too. She's not depressed, she's just going through some anxieties right now. Alot of it has to do with dealing with her dad (an alcoholic, verbally abusive (to me), wacko). And, Paul, I disagree with you, it is a fact that anxieties and depression are genetic. Not a guarantee that your kids WILL be affected, but a possibility. Hang in the bikejon. PM me if you need to.
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"Parent on Board" Forum Board? No- KeyBoard! |
man pook only 10% of depress people may even have a genetic link, and out of the people without depression its 1%, so why are they not depressed?
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/6692256/ it makes me nervious when doctors use the words "may", and "this suggests". Why does it make me nervious, because they have been wrong before. |
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"Still plugging along" At A loss for Words - NOT! |
Ok Paul, maybe I was wrong. I actually meant mental illness is genetic. My mother was mentally ill. She also suffered from depression. She didn't know she was mentally ill. She fought us tooth and nail about taking her medicine, and getting her to the doctor was a nightmare I'll never forget. She was institutionalized a couple of times, and had shock treatments. She thought it was my father and the doctors against her. I don't know if mental illness and depression go hand in hand. My sister and I both suffer from anxiety and depression. All my psychiatrists (scary, huh?) have told me that mental illness is genetic.
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Parent on Board |
Without starting a debate, I have to agree with Paul.
Something to ponder~ "Does it run in the family because of genetics or does it run in the family because it's taught?" Yes, I think that there are somethings that are genetic base. But I also believe (the bigger part) children learn from their enviroment, and whatever they are exposed to they think that is just how life is. |
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"Parent on Board" Forum Board? No- KeyBoard! |
I stand on the evidence
http://medicine.plosjournals.org/perlserv/?request=get-...journal.pmed.0020124 http://www.discover.com/web-exclusives/medical-research-wrong/ http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11927319/ note; I could post all day on these trails, and I won't bring up the ones that really caused havak. My ex, none of the people in her family have any mental problems, she has 2 bothers, 2 sisters, and I have met all her realatives. If I was to beleave what your mental heath workers say pook, that would mean that one or both of my girls was bonkers, they are as normal a pair of teens as i have seen. |
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"Parent on Board" Forum Board? No- KeyBoard! |
sorry for hyjaking your thread bikejon
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"Still plugging along" At A loss for Words - NOT! |
I didn't say that just because I was told it was genetic, that you're children are automatically going to have it. My cousin's friend's father committed suicide. My cousin's friend committed suicide right in front of my cousin's house. I would tend to believe that they both suffered some form of depression or mental problems. I'm just stating what I've been told. Did I do much research in the form of is it genetic? No. I did alot of research on what I suffer from, and do know alot about it.
As for it being learned, I absolutely don't agree with that. How can you teach someone to be mentally ill? Can you become depressed and anxiety-ridden over circumstances? Sure. If you grow up in a wacky household doesn't mean you're going to be wacky too. You pick up alot from your parents, alot of tendencies, but I don't think you can be taught to be mentally ill. You can be brought up thinking something not normal IS normal if your mom and dad brought you up thinking it's normal, but if you're exposed to other kids, they'll teach you fast what's not normal. Society has a way of keeping us up with what's acceptable and what's odd. Unless you live on a mountaintop in the middle of nowhere, and are brought up doing odd things, most kids learn right and wrong from their parents and school and friends. But no, you cannot learn mental illness, you either are or are not. |
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Active Board Parent |
Hey Gang,
Thank you so much for your input. I see the psch doc in a couple weeks. Maybe I'll all him sooner. I see my therapist Thursday. I told him last time I need more aggresive therapy to get into a better place. I'm doing better today. I went for a two hour bike ride and that really helped. Endorphines are the BEST anti depressents!  I'll see about getting my meds adjusted. I just hate living this way. I do think mental illness can be inherited. My mother is depressed. I' pretty sure my whole family is. They are not a positive, upbeat group. My good friend Charity made a good point; my self worth is tied to women. No women interested in me = no self worth, and I think it is true. Trying to find acceptance of myself in someone else isn't going to work. But at the same time I am so lonely. I see women and I feel such a pang in my heart, really. It makes me so sad. But I know love is not a god-given right. I am not entitled to it, and lots of other people aren't either. It is only for certain people I guess. I have a friend who is quadrapalegic. He has things much worse. When I think of him I feel ashamed to be complaining. But thanks again to all of you. |
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"Needs to Get Life" At A loss for Words - NOT! |
I agree! I think that if there is depression in the family line you are more likely to have it yourself... doesn't mean guaranteed or born to be, or even a high chance, just more likely. You definitely sound more upbeat! You've got a plan, that makes a difference in getting through the days, that's for sure! Please feel free to post away here and lean on us for an ear as often as you like. |
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"Parent on Board" At A loss for Words - NOT! |
I can put two cents worth in here Bikejon.It will be a year in May When I tried to overdose last year.I would say if there is a history in your family certainly mention it to the doctor.Most is truely a
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On the Board |
Coming in on this a little late bgut here's my two cents... Antidepressents and therapy work, however, the two won't get you all the way there. The therapist will provide a safe place to vent and help you deal with anger, resentment or whatever other negative feelings you might have. Along those same lines, antipressent treatment should be thought of as temporary.
The third element you will need to get through this is strength you can derive from examining your beliefs and finding some sort of sprituality. You will have to find what works for you and it may take some time. I'm 34 and have wrestled with the question of which denomination for years. Being a believer is great but having some sort of church family is also very helpful. Again, my two cents. I've been where you are. Each day things get a little better. I am focused on healing through faith and with the help of trained professionals. I have the occasional setback and it is likely you will as well. Keep your chin up...we are all here to support each other. |
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