I wanted to thank everyone for their advice and support the other day. It was helpful. And i wanted to give a little update because a bunch of stuff went crazy just yesterday.

So yesterday i went to the housing authority and the department of human services to apply for assistance and update my section 8 file. Both places agreed i should stay out of work for awhile and focus on getting better and finding counseling and treatment for my depression. So i went over to a Community Center in town and its a good thing i did. After speaking with someone and getting set up for an evaluation today I ended up getting a home visit from DCYF saying someone called in anonymously worried about the situation. Im guessing it was DHS. So great, now im on file with DCYF and they told me i may want to consider giving my kids to their grandmother temporarily till i get better. They were happy that i was seeking treatment and said so i still have some right to have them. . . .

I felt like the world around me was collapsing. They want to take my babies. And at the same time i thought maybe i should give temporary custody to their grandmother. I just dont know how all that would work out. . . How long should they stay with her? When will i start to feel better? Is that really a good idea.. . . a million other things went through my mind. So today i went to my 2 hour evaluation and answered a million questions . . . The kids are staying with their grandmother again tonight and im at home unsure what to do with myself. A few friends stopped by this morning and made me get out of bed around 11. Made me breakfast and talked to me while they cleaned my kitchen . . .
But i feel at a loss as to where to go from here. Everyone says take it one day at a time but im trying to think long term . . . what should i do . . . I feel so overwhelmed and uncertain as to what may happen. I guess its all up to me to decide to get better to be their for them. I just hope i have strength enough to get through this.
Thanx for listening.

Uncertain Sarah

Sarah, if you didnt have enough strength...you wouldnt have done what you've done in the last 48 hours.

Your friend are right...one day at a time.

The best time to look long term...is backwards. Live for today...tomorrow has enough problems of it's own.

Glad you're still around.

I'm so glad to hear you are getting help. I know it must be hard to be without your kids. But as a parent you have to do the best thing for them,which right now may not be staying with you. I actually think that by facing your problems head on and making a commitment to get healthy so that you can be a parent to them you are setting an excellent example of how to handle the things life throws at you. I agree that taking it one day at a time is best. Problems are much easier to tackle when you are not trying to do it all at once.