I confided with a friend of mine who's battling depression that I thought I might be suffering from it as well. She then lent me a book called, "Feeling Good - the New Mood Therapy" by David D Burns, M.D.

Upon reading about moods in association with procrastination and do-nothingsm [the issues I have], I couldn't really relate to. A lot of what was mentioned doesn't pertain to me. Here's the list:

1) Hopelessness: When you get depressed, you get so frozen in the pain of the present moment that you forget entirely that you ever felt better in the past and find it inconceivable you might feel more positive in the future. Therefore, any activity will seem pointless.
[Not at all]

2) Helplessness: You can't possibly do anything that will make yourself feel better because you are convinced that your moods are caused by factors beyond your control: fate, hormone cycles, dietary factors, luck ..
[Mmm, ok maybe at times]

3) Overwhelming Yourself: You may magnify a task to the degree that it seems impossible to tackle; You might inadvertently distract yourself from the task at hand by obsessing about endless other things you haven't gottne around to doing yet; You may assume you must do everything at once instead of breaking each job down into manageable units..
[Definately when it comes to cleaning my place. It's so small it lacks organization.. something that really stresses me out. Also when it comes to filling out paperwork]

4) Jumping to Conclusions: You sense that it's not within your power to take effective action that will result in satisfaction. "I can't..", "I would but.."
[Not really]

5) Self-Labelling: The more you procrastinate the more you condemn yourself as inferior. Labelling yourself as "a lazy person" you see your lack of effective action as the 'real you' so that you automatically expect little or nothing from yourself.
[Why can't I keep this place organized?? People I work with think I'm the most organized person on the planet. Why can't I do the same in my own home?]

6) Undervaluing the Rewards: When you are depressed you may fail to initiate any meaningful activity not only because you conceive of any task as terribly difficult but also because you feel the reward simply wouldn't be worth the effort.
[Naaa..]

7) Perfectionism: You defeat yourself with inappropriate goals and standards. You will settle for nothing short of a magnificent performance in anything you do so you settle for - nothing.
[Sometimes]

8) Fear of Failure: Overgeneralization, "If I fail at this, it means I will fail at anything."
[Not at all]

9) Fear of Success: Because of your lack of confidence, success may seem even more risky than failure because you are certain it is based on chance.
[Maybe in the past]

10) Fear of Disapproval or Critism: Any mistake will be met with people who won't accept you as human and imperfect.
[Ya, I admit]

11) Coercion and Resentment: Feeling under intense pressure to perform - generated from within and without, "I SHOULD do this..", "I HAVE to do that..", then you feel obliged, burdened, tense, resentful and guilty.
[When it comes to cleaning and filling out darn paperwork]

12) Low Frustration Tolerance: You assume that you should be able to solve your problems and reach your goals rapidly and easily, so you go into a frenzied state of panic and rage when life presents you with obstacles.."Unfairness" or "Entitlement" syndromes.
[I get irritated]

13) Guilt and Self-Blame: If you are frozen in the conviction you are bad or have let others down, you will naturally feel unmotivated to pursue your daily life.
[Naaa..]

It's a chore at times to get out of the house on a weekend. Once I'm out I'm fine - completely. It's just a matter of dealing with its process. I get this heaviness sensation dwell over me and am easily tired or distracted and irritable.

Today I slept for the majority of the day. Tomorrow I'll have to FORCE myself out for the sake of my son.

Having said this [typical signs of depression]I don't have the negative thoughts that go hand-in-hand with depression. I DON'T think I'm a loser; a failure; amount to nothing; incapable; defeated; insecure; I don't cry and feel sorry for myself. I'm generally optimistic. People often tell me that and like how I view things from both sides of the fence. So, does this make me depressed? Why can't I do some of the normal day-to-day things?

Just thought I'd toss this one out here.. Anyone else relate?

Doc...I'm almost wondering if you should go for a sleep test to see if you have sleep apnea or some form of sleep disturbance instead of depression.

The only reason I'm saying this is because a lot of what you wrote sounds exactly like me...and I'm getting checked for all of that right now.

For YEARS I've had medical doctors try and tell me I'm depressed...because I get fatigued so easily (which is very discouraging). They even put me on Paxil & Zoloft which didn't do a bit of good so I stopped taking them. I kept saying...I DON'T relate to the symptoms of depression and/or anxiety! I'm happy, I'm feel good about the future, I don't have a fear of failure...etc. etc. But they kept saying..."there's nothing physically wrong with you so you must be depressed". Like that was they ONLY explanation for why I had such a difficult time motivating myself...thus getting frustrated.

Eventually I went to a real phyciatrist (sp?) that said I do not have any form of mental disorder. So back to trying to find a medical doctor that could help me with my fatigue (which really hinders life). For the first time I found someone who suggested sleep disturbances...and low-and-behold!

If you are extremely tired and unmotivated...it will have an effect (obviously) on your moods and level of accomplishment. It may look like depression...without being depression. But what hit me with your story is how you don't feel hopeless or helpless...but struggle to get out of bed. I hope I'm making sense. Again, lack of meaningful sleep can make you depressed/slow moving. If you aren't fitting the symptoms of depression...you might want to look into that. Now I'm the Dr.? Seriously, I just don't want you to have to go through what I went through!!

You know, every 'expert' will have different criteria for every sort of disorder or whatever.
I've heard of many a case where the only symptoms of depression (maybe it would be considered mild depression) are the constant need to sleep and the unmotivation to do anything.
I suffered these two things very very very badly the last couple of months I was with my husband, and periodically through out our relationship.
A person doesn't need to be contemplating suicide to be depressed...in fact I think if it is left to treat until one is at that point, then maybe you waited too long.
I'm not saying you are depressed, get medicated...there are many many roads to take with this, but see a doctor...periods of depression are a part of life...learning curves...your mind and body are trying to tell you something.
:huggies:

maybe a hug will do a little...
happy thoughts, sweetie

quote:

Originally posted by GottaBaby:
[qb] you should go for a sleep test to see if you have sleep apnea or some form of sleep disturbance..

I DON'T relate to the symptoms of depression and/or anxiety!

But what hit me with your story is how you don't feel hopeless or helpless...but struggle to get out of bed. [/qb]

Thanks Gottababy! You know, I've never thought about sleep apnea or such. During working days, I get out of bed no problem but I have to snooze my alarm for an hour before I actually GET out of bed [I set it early enough so I'm not late for work]. Also, by 2:00pm I can't stop yawning. It's embarrassing. I also feel a bit out of it so the last hour or so of work is really hard. Sometimes I have to have a power nap so I can rejuvenate myself. But so do many other people.

On the weekends is where I have a hard time motivating myself, unless if I'm pressing for time: appointments, dates.. Also, I find after eating a meal I get exhausted: big breakfast, lunch ..

I heard that depression often doesn't have a reason - it's a chemical imbalance but all the people I know who suffer from it also have the negative thought patterns associated with depression. I admit, I haven't led a very 'happy' life but I don't dwell on my past. I'm not depressed over how my life has turned. In fact, I'm the happiest I've ever been and proud of what I've accomplished.

Maybe I don't have sleep disturbances but it's definately worth looking into. Thanks for the heads up!

quote:

Originally posted by Pamella:
[qb] I've heard of many a case where the only symptoms of depression are the constant need to sleep and the unmotivation to do anything.

...learning curves...your mind and body are trying to tell you something.
[/qb]

Like what? Shouldn't I know what my mind and body is trying to tell me? That's the confusing part.

Whoa jes...everything you just wrote...I felt like I could have written it myself.

Sleep apnea (what I have) is strange. Some nights are worse than others...so then some days were worse than others. But of course...the nature of sleep apnea you don't even know. But I would think...how come yesterday I felt good...and today I feel bad? And...how come I could get a bunch of stuff done one day...and not another? Do you ever have that?

I now kinda see that the only deep sleep I ever got was early in the morning...so I had to do the same thing...snooze...over and over and over again...because I couldn't get up.

I used to really beat myself up (my form of depression) because I couldn't figure out why I wasn't like everyone else.

Anyway...I think I remember reading once that you are Italian. I am as well. Certainly, growing up with an Italian father could lead to clinical depression...JUST KIDDING...(well not really). But I also know that Italian's have a higher likelihood of having sleep apnea than other populations.

I really hope you ask your doctor about it. Just so you know what you are really battling.

I agree it could be any of the above...except depression. for some depression is a chemical imbalance and something that they cannot control but controls them. This does not really sound like something you struggle with.

Can I ask, what does your diet look like? Do you exercise regularly? Take vitamins? Calcium and/or iron supplements?

I was not taking iron and was not eating enough green leafy veggies to make up for the monthly loss of iron. Lethargic.

I was not taking calcium. Lethargic and irritable.

Multi-vitamins---sleepy and drained all the time. There are certain vitamins (I have to look it up) that if you don't get enough of them, oxygen is not adequately transported to your cells and you can exhibit signs of depression.

Not to say I know for sure but just throwing that out there.

Hmmm .. well my diet isnt the greatest but I find that even when I AM eating all the 'food groups' I'm still just as tired. In fact, the more I eat the more tired I get.

Multi-vitamins could help I suppose. I've never been very good at taking things like that persistantly. I've been tested for anemia but came out in the norm. I don't snack or eat junk food. I typically eat my 3 meals a day and that's that. I'm fit. I run almost every morning for work - twice around the field, not much but something. I also walk a lot and fast. I'm restless so I always feel like I'm in a hurry even when I'm not. I also find that the weather has a lot to do with it. This past week has been so sunny and I've had more energy than I've had in a while. But with heat comes exhaustion.

As for the Italian comment - TOO FUNNY! I howled. My dad sleeps a lot himself - in fact he sleeps waaay too much. He also suffers from depression too so it makes sense. I wonder why Italians are more proned to sleep disturbances?

Funny ..

LOL! Italian people. We are a colorful group!!

I would be totally guessing...but when I heard that Italians have a greater chance of having sleep apnea...I was wondering if our facial structure would be more prone to it? Like...I have a larger nose maybe? Again, that is a complete guess.

But we usually do EAT good. Like, I can't stomach junk food or it makes me ill. I mean, I can eat chips and stuff...but the higher the chemical content (the more artificial/processed it is) the less I can tolerate it. Actually, to combine the father, childhood onset depression, and healthy eating stories together...my Dad would never let us buy spagetti O's or sugar cereals like the rest of the cool kids. I appreciate it now...but sheesh! That was rough as a kid when you were having a friend spend the night...ha ha! We had to eat tomatoes and peppers for lunch and stuff. Okay...back from memory lane...

It would be interesting to find out if your Dad snores or stops breathing in his sleep. If he sleeps a lot...he might have it. But you are right. Depression also makes you sleep a lot. You've got to keep us posted Jes. I would be really interested in what you find out...since I had to go through the ringer with this same subject.

Well I just read up on sleep apnea and well, I don't snore. LOL I SWEAR!! heheh So for that I've ruled it out. I did read about S.A.D. though and it seems like it fits. I find in the summers I have a lot more energy and in the winters I'm a lot more irritable and depressed << but without cause. It's funny, I was just talking with a friend of mine the other day and was telling her how the sun made me feel 'lighter' as if I could breathe a little better. Hmmm.. food for thought. I HATE doing this to myself. I'm always trying to self-diagnose. I know I know. I should go to the doctor. I do have a few tests I need to do but I can't miss another day of work so I've been putting it off..

I'll keep you posted re: my dad. He's not a part of my life so it'll take me a while to gather the information.

Big nose, eh?? Sheesh .. lol

Before you rule out the whole sleep problem thing...I don't snore either. I SWEAR TOO!! lol. But I really do swear. You don't have to snore to have apnea. AND there are other forms of sleep problems. Just don't rule it out completely...or if you don't find the answers you want from other things...reconsider sleep.

I know that I feel better in the sun. I kinda feel like everyone does. But if you live in Canada...and I live in Seattle...than we BOTH live in places that don't get much sun. Mexico here we come.

I know all about self diagnosis. I did it for years. It's frustrating...but don't give up (I know you won't). Don't compromise when it comes to your health and wellbeing.

I use to have sleep apnea and I had rhino plasty done and that changed alot. I user to only sleep 4 or 5 hours a day and seemed always tired and exhausted. Now I sleep 7 to 8 hours and feel great. Check with a ears throat, nose and throat specialist that my find the reason for the sleep disorder. The disorder I see can cause alot of other symptoms as I seen in myself when you do not get enough sleep.

Sorry, I should have clarified I wasn't referring to clinical depression...just that it is a normal part of life to go through periods where a person is somewhat depressed...

is there something in your life that is just not making you happy?

mine is the 3 foot pile of clean laundry that I can't fold and put away...looking at it makes me want to go to bed early and not want to get up in the morning...
(sorry, had to through that in there, )

Gottababy, how did you find out you had sleep apnea? I mean, how did you know you weren't breathing well throughout the night if you weren't snoring? I guess I'm assuming that the sound of snoring draws attention to someone who's sleeping, therefor will be able to notice if the sleeper is breathing or not. How did your doctor come to discover it was sleep apnea; or decide to put you on a monitor of some sort? Thanks for your inputs and laughs.

Pamella, no worries I understand. lol Something in my life that isn't making me happy? .. I'd have to say my apartment. I was hoping to move this summer but my plans changed a slight so I've post-poned my move for next summer. In a way I'm happy because I'll be in a better financial situation then and I'll be able to buy some nice new furniture but this place is really driving me nuts. We live in a one bedroom suite with little room to do anything. It lacks organization and throughout the years it's gotten a bit out of hand. Mainly because I have no room to store any storage equipment. I'd looove to get a filing cabinet or a toy compartment of some sort and a kitchen cabinet for all sorts of things - but I can't. I just have to bare with it for one more year and it drives me nuts. So ya, I don't feel relaxed here because it's too cluttery.

Happydad, what sort of symptoms are you referring to that related from lack of sleep?

Hey Jes. Just another thing I was thinking about last night. I was mulling over the things you have talked about here and I was wondering....

Do you exhibit any signs of allergies? I was tired all the time, sometimes sore (muscle aches). Then it progressed to having occasional head aches and my neck was sore all the time. I seemed to always be battling my sinuses. Then I took Claritin D (man this sounds like a comercial), I honestly have felt pretty good with it.

Another thing I had an allergic reaction to was Splenda. I would get dizzy/lightheaded and tired. My blood pressure was erratic. I stoped drinking drinks with Splenda in it and POOF no more weirdness (well not physical anyway).