I am finding myself the past few weeks putting on a show for everyone when inside all I want to do is cry, throw things and just sleep. I have had dealings with depression in the past and I am headed down that road again. I am making a call today to my doctor to make an appointment. I am trying to list things that I want to discuss and wondering if I should tell me doctor everything or if it will look like i'm crazy if I bring a list of things.

Any input is appreciated.

Sarah,

It's good you're taking a proactive attitude with the way you feel.

When I think I need to consult a doctor I know what helps them out the most is to keep a journal of frequency and intensity. (sometimes these happen a lot more intensly just before my cycle ) I can't remember the name of the questionaire some doctors use, but it's about 25 multiple choice questions that help them determine their diagnosis.

Good luck.

I have been on meds before and probably never should have gotten off them. Prozac works well with me and it doesn't cause excess weight gain. I tried Wellbutrin in the past but it made me feel worse. My brother actually had a "bad" reaction to it and had seizures. Anyway, my doctor is the one of the good kind that actually takes time to speak with you regarding your issues and what you want to discuss. He usually runs late and schedules his appointments far apart for this reason.

I got off my meds because I'm afraid of relying on them to feel better. I know that they are there to help and depression runs in my family so it's a possibility that I will probably have to be on meds long term, maybe and maybe not.

My main problem is that I've been trying to lose weight and i'm in that cycle of lose weight and you'll have more energy and feel better, but i have no energy now. This is one of the reasons that I'm seeking help now.

Also that this weekend when I went camping, instead of making the most of the time with Kai, which we did lots and all, but inside I felt down, sad, and wanted to yell at her to leave me alone for 5 minutes even though I know it wasn't her irratating me, it was me irratating myself.

I can't cry in front of Kai. I can't cry in front of anyone actually. And I can't talk to anyone in my family about this stuff . . . they would just say I'm making a bigger deal out of it than it should be.

No stranger to depression myself...and I was also on Welbutrin for a few months but it made me gain LOTS of weight which got me more depressed. (Also not a big fan of taking pills.) I spoke with my doc and went off the meds. I eliminated the things that I could that were triggers (my job) and dealing with the "what if's" that were plagueing me. I started walking which helped lose the weight and improve my mood...I also stayed away from caffeine because I felt it was contributing to the lack of sleep, endless cycle of stress, etc. After a while it will work...if time is an issue, push the stroller around your neighborhood....the kids love to get out and when they're all strapped up and you're pushing at a good clip they can't escape and they are occupied. (Stop and smell the roses every now and then too though...)

Also, if you feel like crying, by all means DO IT! If you don't want to cry in front of the kids, put a movie in for them, go to the bathroom, put the radio on, and have a bawl-fest. It's a great stress reliever and you'll feel better...tired, but better and ready to face the rest of the day. (Bring in a face cloth so you can put cold water on your face to reduce puffiness before you go back to the kids.)

Life is a long road with a few potholes. If you fall in one, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep going. If you need help up, grab a friends hand and don't let go.

Good luck and I hope you feel better!

Caitlin

Okay, so I made the appointment and I am going to see my doctor tomorrow. I'm not excited about it but it has to be done.

Sarah, I am glad you are going in to talk to the Dr. about this....I also think you are doing the right thing by wrirting down all the things/behaviors, etc. that you are b/c I have a feeling that your Doc. will ask about them anyway. And if he doesn't, you should tell him. That's the only way to get the sort of help you need....

Now that I got thinking about it . . . there are lots of meds out there but how do you compare the benefits, side effects, etc of these meds. I absolutely will not take one that causes weight gain! That would just add to the fire.

Ask the Doc./pharmacist lots of questions about the meds he will be prescribing. I would specifically tell the Doc. not to give you one that causes weight gain.

quote:

That's why I suggest speaking to mental health specialist rather than your General Practitioner. You can have the greatest doc in the world but they still don't deal with all these medications day-in and day-out

I have to agree whole heartedly with Amy. I wasn't properly diagnosed until I saw a psychiatrist who conducts research with medications. Side effects were hard to monitor especially if you're a single parent who doesn't have a partner to check your assumptions.

One medication suppressed my appetite so much I had to use the alarm on my watch to remind me to eat. (I really liked that one until the pharm co removed the appetite suppress ingredient) Another one gave me horrible sugar cravings... I could walk around the office with a bowl of sugar and a spoon and I was in heaven.

I always felt the gen pract thought the med should make me say. "I feel fine" without checking anything else.

Jimmy Carter's wife was speaking in a Senate hearing (?) today about reforming insurance to not allow gen. practioners to diagnos depression today. They were trying to pass a bill that would make insurance company pay for mental health doctors without obtaining a referral. You might catch a recap on CSPAN.

I do have a therapist that I see when I need to and we exchange emails and phone conversations on a bi-weekly basis. It does help. I'll let you guys know what happens after my appointment tomorrow.

Thank you for all your support.

Sarah....????? how'd it go at the appointment today?

Ok...I realize you may not even be there yet...I'm being impatient again. I will wait......are you back yet?

Thinkin the same thing...hope everythings going okay...

I have not gone yet but am going to this afternoon. I wish I would have made the appointment for this morning cause I've been nothing but angry, frustrated and on the brink of tears all day. GRRRRRR!!!! Only 2 1/2 hours to go until appointment.

Amy, I'm not quite sure that's what I'm going for. But I can see the sympathy that would take place if I did that. More than likely my boss would send me home.

Okay, so I went to the doctor's yesterday. He put me on the same anti-depressant as I had in my last episode. He wants me to stay on it for a year and has indicated that it is known for stable weight or weight loss, as in no weight gain caused by this drug. He did give me options and since this drug worked so well last time I said I would use it again.

My doctor took over an hour to listen to me and to talk to me about depression and the goals he wants me to head towards since this is my third major episode. We also talked about weight loss and he wants me to do measurements instead of weighing in because there can be a big different in measurements when there is little in weighing in due to muscle gain, etc.

He stressed that he wants me to continue doing my cardio and weight training and keep track of all my intake and exercise goals. I have revised my chart to start on Saturday this weekend and I will be doing measurements Saturday morning, as well as weighing in, and I will be documenting everything I put in my "pie hole." lol

I took my first does last night and there is a warning on the bottle that says "may cause drowsiness." I slept really good but I dont know if it's because of the drug or because I finally went to the doctor and am feeling somewhat relieved that I am doing something to help myself feel better.

He did say something that was funny, well lots of things that made me laugh but he said "if you are angry, walk like you are angry." He said it would burn off calories and the mood. He is correct in this because I have done this.

I feel a bit relieved this morning of things, more calm and more stable. However, monthly things also came this morning so I know I have a day of pain coming but that's okay. Pain lets you know you are alive.

Thank you everyone for all your support.

Sarah,

He sounds like an awsome doctor! Living here in the big city, I find myself on a conveyor belt quickly zooming through the doctors office without getting a good doctor/patient connection.

I don't take meds anymore but I have to monitor stress. There are some forums where people talk about their reactions to their medication if you google it. Just additional information I thought I would share.

So your meds might cause weight loss...... I like that