Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online Single Parent Forums Dealing With Depression where to start|
Go
|
New
|
Find
|
Tools
|
Reply
|
|
|
On the Board |
so...i browsed through some of the old topics and could relate well if any of you are still around. i said yes to every one of the 13 criteria in the "can you relate" thread. i know i suffer from depression, but what i don't see in any titles is the other stuff i put myself through. i am bulimic and i'm a cutter. if i can't get that IT out through binge/purge or spending unnecessary money...i'll bleed IT out. the relief is only temporary.
i am 25 with two small children and i still live at home (which to me is almost the hardest part to deal with). i have very few friends (ok like three) in real life so i don't go out and i don't date at all. i've been seperated from the boys dad for about 4 or 5 years i don't remember how long becuase i tend to forget important details about almost anything. (i daydream ALOT). i have a wonderful group of online friends that i would probably die without. we met on a huge eating disorder forum but created a smaller place that wasn't so focused on the ED. only one other girl is a single mother and i do believe she is worse than me and we're kinda like the blind leading the blind when it comes to advice. i've never harmed my children and have no desire to. that's not the problem. i feel very very dull and empty. i lie in bed and wonder why i can't even seem to hug or touch my children on some days or anybody else for that matter. i hate hate hate being alone but when i get around other people i feel like everyone is looking at me and they just know how stupid i am and how fat i look. with all this said, i have this fear that if i go to the doctor he'll think i'm faking or know for that matter. i don't feel like it's real. like i'm just faking it all like maybe i really am doing it all for attention...but nobody knows. my mom has now clue. i sure as hell can fake happiness better than her. she's always in a bad mood. crap, i'm sorry. that was more like a journal entry. i think all of you mothers are probably a hell of alot more normal than me. you probably have houses and cars and good jobs. i don't feel very human. somebody pinch me. |
||
|
|
"Sigh. I love this place." Lively & Zealous Parent |
Awww, sweetie... welcome to the forum. There are so many people here willing to give you encouragement and support. A lot of us deal with depression on a daily basis. The first thing a lot of us will say is to find a counselor, support group, someone to talk to. I'm gonna be blunt and say that it sounds like all you want is for someone to care. I can relate. It stinks being single and alone, and raising 2 kids. I'm doing it. I don't like my job, and I don't feel like doing anything most days. But... the thing that keeps me going is my desire to dig myself out of the rut I'm in. I don't care what people think of how I look. If they don't like it, they can turn away. I have learned to love myself for who I am, and expect the same out of anyone I let into my life. You have to set a standard for yourself that's higher than where you are now, and wake up each morning and strive to acheive it. Look at your children and see the hope in their eyes. Let them chase you around the house. Hug them. Tell them you love them.
Do you work? If not, or even if so and you don't make enough to move out of your parent's house, can you get assistance? I know that life is better when you're doing it on your own... you have no one to depend on but yourself, and so you must make it throught the day and try to smile about how good life is. Life really is good, too.... try thinking this: How wonderful that I woke up today! Now I get to see my kids for at least another day... And live like that. You're not guaranteed tomorrow, so make the most of today. On a deeper note... I think you should contact a psychaitrist. They are licensed to prescribe medication that will help control depression. It seems like you could use a little of that, if you don't mind me saying so. Good luck with your fight, and please stick around and keep us posted. |
|||
|
|
"...if only I could fly!...." Setting New Standards |
I agree. I think the best thing you can do for yourself and your children is to get help. What you are feeling and doing is not healthy for you or the children that depend on you to be there for them.
I don't think you are alone... Please ask for help! Your online friends are great to have, but you need more than someone to talk to. God Bless you and give you the strength it takes to face your fears, your problems, and do what you need to do to change it! |
|||
|
|
On the Board |
thank you two so much. i really do feel that being dependant on myself would solve a small percentage of my problems. and i do work. i've worked the same job for two years. i love my job it just doesn't pay well and i don't have benefits.
i'm not sure what assistance to try and get that won't involve the father. someone once told me that no matter what i apply for the state will inturn go after the father for child support and then if he is paying child support that that means he has rights to my boys. that just can't happen. |
|||
|
|
"Sigh. I love this place." Lively & Zealous Parent |
I'm not sure about the laws in LA, but I wouldn't just trust what someone else says about the issue of assistance. Call and ask. Always keep in mind that child support and visitation are two separate issues, to be dealt with at separate times. He would have to petition for visitation, and you would have to build a case as to why he should be granted no visits or only supervised visits. Ask about assistance. You pay taxes to supply it, if you need it, take it.
|
|||
|
|
On the Board |
My heart is bleeding for you. I haven't looked at the other responses you've received; however, I'm sure everyone has already told you to "seek professional help." I suppose you could say that about me, that I'm "a lot more normal than you" but, it took a tremendous amount of work. "Checking out" was my constant thought for many, many, many years. I dreamed nightly for years that someone killed me and I became addicted to the part when I actually took my last breath. Death was so peaceful (in my dream) I began to look forward to the dreams. Sure, I sought professional help, but the real healing didn't begin until I was led to the Lord and accepted the one-on-one relationship that God offered me. I want to spcifically address the fact that you're a cutter. I've never been a cutter, and I'm not a cutter, but I do know that "cutting" is the most misunderstood area of counseling. Many counselors with numerous impressive credentials from the most prestigious universities are unable to help cutters. I say all that to say this: Find a psychiatrist who "specializes" in cutting. Don't let them tell you that they're experienced in "abuse." It's not enough. To resolve cutting issues requires a long-term commitment on both your part and the counselors' part. And, of course, to continue a long-term commitment will require that you first trust the counselor. Most counselors tire easily of the "rubberband behavior" that cutters display, i.e., the patient will get close and start to build trust (because they really want the help)and then pull away from the counselor (because they fear being too vulnerable). It puts you(and the counselor) in a position of always having to start over. It's an arduous process. And that's just one of many elements of "cutting" that makes it so difficult to treat. Please feel free to send me a pvt mssg if you need help getting started. Sorry this is so long. |
|||
|
|
On the Board |
Oh my goodness Phooka & Gina a lot u guys say i can totally relate to! My heart skipped a beat when i read what u guys wrote - its a really comforting thing to read/realize that in some issues i am not the only one who feels that way. My name is Nicole and i am 24, a senior in college, my son is 2 1/2, we reside in san jose. I suffer from depression, adhd, sleep problems, & anxiety, & my son suffers from eczema & athma. My son & live w/ my mom-i am very grateful 4 her, but she drives me crazy. I have like 1 or 2 friends, & i dont know what i'd do w/o my bf.
I always daydream, its what gets me thru the day. I dont know whats wrong w/ me, whenever i saw a baby being born esp. when i was pregnant i'd see the mom crying w/ joy i'd be crying, only when my son was born i didnt cry-i feel awuful about that. i remember after class my professor asked me r u attched/love 2 ur son. I was offended she even asked me that of course my response was of course i'm attached 2 him. She then said some mothers just dont get attached to their kids, i cannot get outta my head what she told/asked me & that was 2 yrs ago. Going 2 school is absolutly no fun 4 me anymore, i get really paronoid of people finding me out, of all my problems, fears. My family & friends have no idea, i show them what i want them to see. I show myself as being together, but i'm so broken up inside. I am definately on empty, i dont know how i keep going. As for the cutting i so badly want to hurt myself, but would never go thru w/ it, i think about it all the time, i hate needles though, i know i wouldnt die, & the idea of being sewn up wiggs me out. I have day dreams of dying, right now i am seeing a therapist, taking anti-dep, nothing is workin, i feel like i'm livin in hell & 2 die would be heavenly, how could hell be any worse than this? i have been to hell & back when it comes to my father. |
|||
|
|
I am New to SFV |
I am brand new on these boards as of today becaus eI will soon be a single non-cust dad. I saw your post and wanted to reply because I too suffer from depression. I have been taking meds for several years which have definitely helped, but recently because of some financial issues and family issues, as well as the stress of dealing with new fatherhood and no marriage, I have felt very much on the edge of major anxiety/depression.
I think it would be good for both you and me to see a therapist or join a support group of some type. Not together of course. Hang in there though. Besides support groups there are great places online like this one to talk to people and meet friends. I am a very good listener so feel free to talk to me about anything. I have some life experience and have been through alot myself. |
|||
|
|
On the Board |
i have a place online i consider a support group...couldn't live without 'em. there are only a few others there with children, that's why i started posting here. i just started some meds that help with the worst moments which has helped a lot.
you hang in there too  |
|||
|
|
Parent on Board |
hi phooka, i too have and currently am dealing with depression, the great part now is im pregnant and single parent to be so if you add all that in the mix what a hormonal, emotional depressive mess. i can seperate out the baby worries, ex issues and depression, and i have been working in the mental health field for 16 years, and it doesnt make it any easier, there are a lot of good books and one you may want to check out if it is helpful, is "I hate you dont leave me" it may or may not be, but glad to see you are getting help, hopefully your on the right meds, but it does take a while for full effect. im 32 weeks and i have gone through the pregnancy without any meds, although i know i am going downhill, so i will be seeing my dr next week to start a med regimine so i can prevent further depression or post pardum depression, we are all here to talk and or listen so im glad you have reached out for our support :huggies:
|
|||
|
|
On the Board |
well i kind of messed up on the meds thing. i thought only 2 and half weeks they were really starting to work but i don't think i gave it long enough. see, the other day i had one of those moments. it's hard to explain...it's like your feeling so many emotions in one moment...and well i flushed the meds down the toilet because i was angry that they weren't helping me control my mood in that very instant. or something like that. i thought they were supposed to keep from feeling that and they didn't. i tend to overeact when overwhelmed.
|
|||
|
|
"...if only I could fly!...." Setting New Standards |
oh phooka, I am sorry to hear this. Please go back to see the doctor and tell her/him what happened! You need to stay on your medication..even if it does not seem to be working.
If you feel that way, call the doctor and tell them.. but don't stop the meds! Are you calling the doctor yet? |
|||
|
|
"living the good life" No one can stop me now!!!! |
phooka,
Inni is right - please call the doctor and get back on the med's. I think I read that it takes 6 weeks for them to be effective in the system. Just get back into it. Do you have a refill at the pharmacy? No big deal you chucked them, we all do things at times in a momment that probally shouldn't have been done. We are here. Let us know how you make out with the call. |
|||
|
|
"...if only I could fly!...." Setting New Standards |
harmony - very good point.. heck, I've done a few things - at least  It's like having a banana split in the middle of a diet ... don't give up on the whole diet .. just say OK - I had a slight set back, now let's get back on track! Please keep us updated. I worry. |
|||
|
|
On the Board |
i'm okay...just don't have anything to say. feeling brain dead.
|
|||
|
| Previous Topic | Next Topic | powered by eve community | Page 1 2 |
 | Please Wait. Your request is being processed... |
|
|||
| Site | Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online | ||
| Servlet | eve1da045 | ||
| Version | 1.2.22 build 9062 | ||
| Module | Forums 4.0.3 | ||
| Stylesheet | "All Year Style" | ||
| Wordlet Set | "SFV" | ||
|
