Well lets see, where do I begin. It seems in the last 2 months my life has gone to ****. So I might as well start at the beginning......

First off I started working June 26th for the first time in 7 1/2 years (unless you count 4 days at Walmart). I have stayed home with my 2 kids who are 7 and getting ready to be 5. Most people don't know that my 7 yr old has problems, he has Pervasive Autistic Developmental Disorder, OCD, ADHD and Speeech & Developmental Delayment. So I have had my hands full the last few years since he started school, but overall he is a good kid.

Second of all... my daughter was molested by my father in law on July 2nd, and we had him thrown in jail and we are prosecuting. My daughter is in counseling, my father in law is still in jail, he had a court case to tell how he pleas then he has another acse with Supreme Court. Now he has another Aug 16th So we are on pins and needles hoping he gets a conviction.

And third, my husband just left me and moved out on July 25th. So now I have to figure out finances, because I don't make enough alone to support me and 2 kids even tho I work 40 hrs a week. So I applied for HUDD, Medicaid etc and went to the child support office. Now I just have to learn to take one day to the next.

So as you can see, my life has basically said "Go Screw Yourself" in the last 2 month, it sucks. So I am sure you can understand why I feel like I am losing my damn mind.

I've always lived with my Mom, until I married my husband. We have been married 7 years. I don't understand how you can go from being totally devoted to a man, thn feeling nothing but contempt for him. I feel a rage I have never known when in close proximity of him.

I've never been "alone" and I have to say it hurts. When will it stop? How do you go one when your life feels like it is falling apart???

Its not "how do you go on", you go on because you have to. You go on because you have kids and have too go on.

I realize that, but some days it just feels like I am going nuts, ya know?

That's what keeps me going Cookie. Is my kids!!! You said it all Paul. I sit for hours alone everyday. It sucks!! Family and friends don't call. So I just do my job and wait to see my kids on my visits.
I take one day at a time. Talking and reading here seems to help.

Dave

quote:

Originally posted by Unique Cookie:
[qb] I realize that, but some days it just feels like I am going nuts, ya know? [/qb]

lol, without a dout I know. I get the crazys, sometime wondering if I am not headed for a mental breakdown. I feel at times I am disjointed from what life should be. I think though in the long run this is making me stronger, that is if I survive it

quote:

Originally posted by alvicar:
[qb] That's what keeps me going Cookie. Is my kids!!! You said it all Paul. I sit for hours alone everyday. It sucks!! Family and friends don't call. So I just do my job and wait to see my kids on my visits.
I take one day at a time. Talking and reading here seems to help.

Dave [/qb]

yup kids make it worth it.

Dear Cookie,
Initially it is just cope with one day at a time because you have to for your kids. But that does pass and things do get better. I suddenly realised after being on my own for a year that although I missed having a partner I had become much more aware about who I was and what I wanted from my life and there were lots of things that made me happy that did not involve a partner.
All this turmoil in your life has only just happened and I am sure it will take some time until things settle down. I tried to just concentrate on making my child as happy as possible doing stuff together and the spin off was I sometimes found myself having real fun too. It is a tough road, but you WILL get there. Congratulations on your job. That is a big thing! Also all of us here have been in the same space as you at some point so come here to lean on others when the going seems to be too tough!!
Stay Strong