Are there any specific forums on this sight for parents of depressed teens? I'm really struggling and would love to communicate with those who have gone through it or are going through it. I'd be more than happy to share with those who need encouragement, as well.

AmyCee, welcome to the site. We do have a "Dealing with Depression" forum though it really is more full of the parents dealing with their own depression topics.
One of the first things I would do is get her into a counselor if you haven't already started that.

AmyCee, my 16 year old was not diagnosed as depressed, however, she became a cutter last year, and she is so moody, it is like being on a roller-coaster with her.
I got a list of names of teen councellors from our doctors office, and started her in therapy.

One thing that I have noticed is that the more she is in that stupid Live Journal site on line, the worse she seems. I think that there are a bunch of sad sacks in there, perpetuating each others problems.

PM me if you want to talk. I will try to help, al least let you know that you are not alone.

Thanks, Don. I've had her in therapy for about 6 months now, and she's on antidepressants.

I know I'm doing the best that I can for her, but it can be tough bearing the burden of it, and sort of feeling at a loss as to how to reach out to her.

It's kind of nice to be able to relate to other parents in the same or similar situation.

Frosty, You're singin' my song. Sounds like we are in very similar situations. Thanks for the encouragement. I will definitely drop you a note.

PM me anytime. I work days, so I only get to be here in the evenings. I do try to login even it its just to read the threads.
GO STEELERS...not Seahawks, right?

My youngest daughter had started cutting last year too. Took her in for counseling, and having her attend al-ateen meetings to help her deal with the issues that started her feeling the need to start cutting, her mom's lifestyle and lack of real involvement in her life. Thankfully she hasn't continued to cut, and besides what I'd consider "typical" teenage moods she seems to be doing better.

Amy, do you talk to the therapist also, perhaps they might be able to give you some insight on relating to your daughter as well. It may help too if you know the reasons behind the depression if there are any specific ones that is.

For me, fortunately or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, I had also had a lot of "school of hard knocks" lessons learned from my own life and old choices so I was able to help give her some understanding of it all also.

when i was 16 i just wanted my mom to be my friend but she was too wrapped up with what my other sisters were doing i never had her so i was a depressed kid

u know what i was a depressed kid. I'm 24, still bringing it to my future, i'm still trying to find myself, why im so sad and why depend on guys, i am a cutter but im trying to find myself its hard. I had alot of betrayal. Parents if ur child is going through something, u know what they might have beeen hurt by someone i was mulested by my dad and my mom didnt know but i thought she did she didnt protect me so i drank, smoked, cut myself and was very depressed to come to find out she never knew. Now im letting her know what happened still from my past.

quote:

Originally posted by Frosty:
[qb] PM me anytime. I work days, so I only get to be here in the evenings. I do try to login even it its just to read the threads.
GO STEELERS...not Seahawks, right? [/qb]

You've got it, Frosty!!! GO STEELERS!!! Today's going to be a real nail biter!!

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Originally posted by AmyCee:
[qb]

quote:

Originally posted by Don:
[qb] My youngest daughter had started cutting last year too. [/qb]

[/qb]

Ok, Don, Let me try that again. I'm new to this "replying" with a quote thing.

What I wanted to say was, it's amazing that so many kids are doing this now. When I first caught my daughter cutting, I was totally floored. Now I find that it's the "in" thing to do. It doesn't make it any better, but it definitely shocks me to find how common it is with teens now.

My daughter is very anti-drugs, anti-drinking, and anti-smoking. I guess this is the alternative she's chosen to relieve the depression.

(As far as I'm concerned, if she wants pain, I could just sit her down and make her watch Lawrence Welk re-runs for a couple of hours. Now, that's "pain." )

Anyway, Don, thanks for the words and encouragement.

quote:

Originally posted by AmyCee:
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quote:

Originally posted by nita23:
[qb] u know what i was a depressed kid. [/qb]

[/qb]

Sorry, sorry, again. Eventually, I will figure out how to reply correctly to a post.

Nita, thanks for being so honest and sharing. I am really trying to keep things open with my daughter.
It's good to hear things from your perspective. I think my daughter feels that she can open up with me. Lately we've had some really good talks.

I'm definitely looking for a brighter future.

Nita, Have you talked to a professional about your depression? I know that has helped my daughter. She got on some anti-depressants, and was able to stop cutting for months. Some rough stuff happened recently that resulted in her cutting again, one time, but it has definitely been better.

Hang in there, Nita.

AmyCee, there was one thing that I did come to realize when my daughter was cutting. It is an addiction, there is a euphoric high a cutter gets when they cut. A control that they have on their life. We see it as dangerous and damaging, a self destructive nature...but many of us have these tendancies. Mine is smoking...it doesn't leave scars on the outside, but it is self-destructive and it has a drug effect on my body. Overeaters and alcoholics get a high also.
However, cutting is scary to us.
Januarys readers digest had a really good article about the effects of certain activiites on our teens today. One had to do with cutting off their own air supply to get a high (I can't remember the name of it), they also talked about cutting.
In the article they talked about how our kids have such global access to people now with the internet, where they all support each other, even in the negative light. (I call them sad sacks). It is almost like they validate each others behavior by having the same behavior.

My daughter likes me when I don't act like a parent, and when I do, most of the time she gets mad at me. It is a fine line we walk, it seems, because we want our children to "like" us but we need to maintain rules and order. We want them to try new things, but not too many new things and not if we don't put our approval stamp on them.

I find the best way to parent is on a day to day basis. If she is mad at me today because of a rule I enforced, so be it. Maybe she'll like me again tomorrow.

What I want her to know most of all is that I am here for her and she can come to me whenever she wants and for whatever she needs.