I can't believe this just happened, but luckily no on saw. This doesn't have anything to do with parenting, but I just needed to get this out. In 1996 when I worked for a local grocery store as a bookkeeper in the office with the safe, we were robbed. I was held at gunpoint in this locked office. I never was touched, but was so frightened. I kept hearing someone say, "If you just stay calm, no one will get seriously hurt." I honestly believe in God and think he sent me an angel that night. Afterward, I had to be sedated to calm down from crying hysterically. I had managed to keep calm until he left and I could get out of that office and saw all my cashiers and customers were okay.

The reason for that story was so that you understand what just happened. This all happened about this time of year. I still have nightmares and have a difficult time grocery shopping during this time of year.

There was a man that just walked up to the floor to ceiling windows in the front of our building and I sit right in front of those windows. I didn't see him walking up or this probably wouldn't have hit me this way. All I saw at first was a tall man reach behind him and pull out something from behind him. I suddenly flashed back to that time and started crying. Why do I keep reliving that time? I can't seem to get it out of my head no matter how hard I try. I don't hold what those 3 men did against anyone but them personally.

I haven't seen a psychologist, since I know that will be the first question. Yes. I know I should, but that pesky money issue keeps coming up. Should I let my boss know about this in case it happens again? I needed to let it out somewhere.

-Jennifer

I believe what you are suffering from is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as it repeats itself when you are under or thinking about a similiar situation.It may be worth talking to your boss,but be careful as he/she may use it as an excuse to release you from the job as a way of opting out of any fee's to help pay a Psychologist.
Are there any employment rights to assist in this sort of situation?


Hang in there and hugs,

Mark

It didn't happen at this job, so it wouldn't be something they would need to pay for, I wouldn't think. It seems to creep up on me this time of year, I guess since it happened during this time frame. The actual event took place October 24, but it is about this time that I start to have nightmares about it. Usually it isn't this early, but I totally freaked out when I saw that guy.

-Jennifer

Ty's Mom,

I was also robbed at gunpoint back in 96. I was only 18 at the time, my second job, I had been promoted to manager and it was only my second shift being in charge alone. The guy came in and put the gun against my forehead and told me to open the safe. Luckily, when I gave him the money, he ran off and didn't hurt anyone. He was eventually caught, after robbing 8 other stores. When I went to the lineup to point him out, I was shocked to see employees from my previous job there! If I had never quit, the same guy would have robbed me anyway! Crazy. I got a terrible case of anxiety, thinking that the guy was after ME personally (it was just coincidence but i couldn't convince myself of that) When he robbed my previous job, he had injured one of the girls and locked everyone in the freezer before he left. I was lucky. Anyway, I had horrible nightmares for weeks, I wouldn't leave my room. I just kept picturing him pulling out that gun every time i closed my eyes. I ended up quitting the job. Sometimes, i find myself in a situation like you had this morning. I will be in a restaurant or convenience store and some shady looking guy will come in and reach to his back pocket for his wallet and i panic. I worked at a hotel for a long time on the night shift and i would have episodes where I flashed back to the robbery, especially since i worked alone a lot and at night. I don't really have any advice for you, except that when you do have those panic moments, don't let it get to the point you are crying. The panic reaction is probably normal, it's your brains way of protecting yourself. What you need to do is recognize that you are overreacting and calm yourself BEFORE you are in tears. Otherwise, if you want to talk about it, I am here for ya.

I had a different situation, but still have post traumatic stress disorder. One time the person driving the car behind me in a drive thru looked enough like my attacker that I totally freeked out. I almost hit reverse and had a real feeling that I either wanted to run or attack. It's not ok to live with these feelings. Money issue on therapy - hundreds of places have incomed based plans and emergency plans. I have paid 10 dollars a visit before or less depending on my situation. I suggest that you get the help you deserve before you find yourself curled up in a ball and unable to walk into a therapists office. I have been stuck in the fetal position and had to have someone take me. That's worse than any sort of humiliation in the world.

I don't usually think about it much. Sometimes, like today, it just comes up all of a sudden. I had tears running down my face before I realized he was the window cleaner w/ a squegee in hand. I don't over react like that alot. It took me totally off guard. I think I block it out most of the time. There is usually about a 2 week period where I wake up in a cold sweat with nightmares. I don't know why I had that reaction today. Maybe because he came from out of no where. I'll look into a therapist. I just needed to put the words out there. I guess I'm still scared, even though I hate admitting it.

Trying to go on living without admitting our fears really isn't a great way to live. How can we over come our fears if we are too afraid to even talk about them? I manage to block out my experience fairly well. I had to leave my home, my friends, and a job behind and still have episodes. It'll will be ok, but you will never forget those feelings. To acknowledge them, that's all we can really do isn't it?

I really don't talk about it much. This is probably the first time I got it out. That is one of the great things about this site. It makes you feel safe to say what you are thinking and feeling. Thanks for your help everyone. I'm a long way from being past it obviously, but I feel better just having put it out there.

-Jennifer