I am in the middle of a divorce currently and if that is not stressful enough, I have also just lost my job. I ahve two kids and no idea of what I am going to do about anything. I still am living in the house with my soon to be ex because neither of us can afford to move out or pay for it ourselves. It is on the market, but with how today's housing market is..who knows how long it will take to sell. It has been for sale since the 2nd week of July and we have not gotten one call on ot at all.
Then last week I found out our company was closing and I have no job. I was in the mortgage industry and right now with the way things are there are just no jobs out there. I know I will not find another job making the kind of money I was making, but I am so scared about how I am going to be able to support 2 kids and myself when so far the only jobs I have seen are for half if not less than that of what I was making before. Of course my ex is loving this. He keeps threatening to go for custody of my 5 year old because I do not have a job. I would love to go back to school and try to get a degree for a better job, but I do not see how to make that fly. I feel like I am drowning and I do not see how this will get better at all. My family is being less than supportive. All they keep saying is to put my faith in God and that everything will be ok. I am over 30 years old and suddenly I have to start my life all over again and I just do not know if I am strong enough to do this. I am so scared. I cannot sleep anymore and I just wonder if it would be better for me to disappear. At least then I know my kids would have the financial security they need to have the life they deserve.

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Originally posted by momp23:
.... All they keep saying is to put my faith in God and that everything will be ok. I am over 30 years old and suddenly I have to start my life all over again and I just do not know if I am strong enough to do this. I am so scared. I cannot sleep anymore and I just wonder if it would be better for me to disappear. At least then I know my kids would have the financial security they need to have the life they deserve.

Most of us have gone through those same exact feeling for one reason or another....some of us still do.

You disappearing would hurt your kids more than you can imagine. If you are truly wanting to help them, and care for them then sticking this out and getting through will be the best thing you can ever do for your children.

Hang in there, wait for the rest of the relies here. Ok?

I'm glad you found our little "Nuthouse" corner of the internet we call "Home".

Welcome.

i feel like i am hanging on a high cliff by my fingernails with one hand he is only trying to knock you down to his level "bottom dweller"he feels like **** so he is gonna bring down with him. dont let him you are stronger than you know your kids need you to be the stronger one wether it takes you 10 yrs or more they will respect you for it maintain your dignity and your integrity.it is your god given right to have those remember hannah and abagail" wife to king david" both had trying circumstances but eventually were given peace in their hearts my good thoughts are with you kelly

Ok,
I'm new to SFV too, but I just had to reply b/c I KNOW how you feel.

The first thing I can tell you is to focus on getting another job as soon as possible regardless of how much less it pays. Why?

1. Some $$ is better than no $$.

I made that mistake once - I was out of work for 2 weeks b/c I couldn't handle "how little" I was making at the next, fastest job I could get and 5 months later I am still paying for it. (my lights were cut off just last week, I was 3 months behind)

2. You don't want a big gap in your work history.
3. If you are working ANY job w/ reasonable hours a judge is less inclined to favor your ex in a custody battle

Think about the possible benefits:

If you are making less money, your ex will be required to share more of the financial responsibility for your children's support.

You could get public assistance. (I know that is hard to deal w/ when u are used to supporting your own, but being a single parent is financially tough, sooner or later you learn to take all the help you can get) Plus, it doesn't have to be forever, just until you get back where you want to be.

Its an opportunity to look for a job w/ hours and/or benefits that would better suit your new role as a single parent. I'd bet that every working single parent on this board will tell you that a job w/ the right hours or flexibility makes a big difference.

A less stressful/demanding job may allow you time to take classes part-time or online, maybe not right away but soon enough.

One last thing to consider - As a single mom, w/ reduced income, and 2 dependants you'll qualify for more financial aid fpr school as well as other special programs.
I know b/c I was able to buy a beautiful country home on 1 acre on a special gov't program. My mortgage payment is subsidized by the gov't. I pay less than rent for my home.
I did all this as a single mom of 3 kids, no child support and less than 23K a year.

Girl, I know its hard and it looks desperate right now....but its not impossible. Look for the silver lining. Find someone whose shoulder you can cry on sometimes and someone who will always have something positive to contribute.

Looks like this may be the perfect place for that.

If you want to go to school, choose a college and talk to them about financial aid, they should be able to tell you about money for expenses and then apply for any and all scholorships you can. There are loads of lists of scholarships on the internet.

Then, go to your local assistance office and inquire about food stamps, family assistance, daycare assistance and anything else they may offer.

Your husband would probably not be able to get custody of the 5 year old if you made every possible move to improve you and your children's lives, especially if you are in college.

I went to college with the Pell Grant and it paid for my entire associates degree with money left over every semester. I chose to go to a private college for my bachelors so it did not cover it all, but if probably would if you went to a state college. I startedv my associates while receiving assistance from the state. You can do it. With the mortgage business the way it is, it would be better to try for another career. Let us know how things go and do not put off asking for assistance. Oh, and ask about housing assistance and move out and away from your soon-to-be ex so you do not have to have his **** piled on top of everything else you are having to deal with.

Your family may be right, God has a way of kicking us in the butt when he thinks we need to make changes, I think you just got kicked! LOL!

One last thing to consider - As a single mom, w/ reduced income, and 2 dependants you'll qualify for more financial aid fpr school as well as other special programs.
I know b/c I was able to buy a beautiful country home on 1 acre on a special gov't program. My mortgage payment is subsidized by the gov't. I pay less than rent for my home.
I did all this as a single mom of 3 kids, no child support and less than 23K a year

Maharahi, what government program did you use to do this?

Maharahi, what government program did you use to do this?[/QUOTE]

I purchased my home through a Rural Development's Rural Housing Direct Loan Program.


"Rural Housing Direct Loans are loans that are directly funded by the Government. These loans are available for low- and very low-income households to obtain homeownership. Applicants may obtain 100% financing to purchase an existing dwelling, purchase a site and construct a dwelling, or purchase newly constructed dwellings located in rural areas. Mortgage payments are based on the household's adjusted income"

Homes in Nashville wouldn't qualify, b/c its considered a Metro area, but some surrounding areas would.

You can go to this website to check your eligibility for the program. You can also check what areas near you are eligible.

http://eligibility.sc.egov.usda.gov/eligibility/welcomeAction.do

Thank you so much! I will check Atlanta because that is were we are going next. I appreciate the info!