I just came across this website by accident, but it is most appropriate to my situation.

Being a single mother of 2 is the most difficult thing I've had to deal with. My children 10 and 6 only have me. We have no family. My mother passed away when I was young and my father isn't really involved much in their lives. I only have a brother who has his own family and lives in another state. I have a very difficult time "having time for myself" since I really have no one to help me. I don't drive so it's difficult to do what I have to do on weekends. I have been a single mom for 2 years. The father is in jail for an unknown amount of time (hasn't been sentenced). I can't go out, so I haven't met anyone new. I have no girlfriends since I can't go out. I am depressed, angry, frustrated, tired, and am scared of the damage this is having on my children.

I guess I just needed to vent.

Hi there, I am new at this group. Keep up your head, I know it may be tough but it is all worth it. My mother past away when I was 17 and every time I look at my daughter I could cry, but I feel my mother had something to do with her. She does things only my mother did. I only have 1 butit is enough for me right now. I work full time and have a part-time job plus fell guilty when I do not spend enough time with her. You can vent to me anytime, I do that alot with my friends but they are not single parents. Keep up the good work with your kids!!!!!

Thanks for your words of encouragement. Sometimes it does feel like it gets a little easier, but then something happens that makes you say "WHY ME"! I guess reading about other single parents experiences and tribulations helps me to cope with mine.

hello,

I often ask "why me" why does my daughter have to be subjected to sadness of not having both parents in one house. Instead, since the age of one she has been shuffled between two households that are two hours apart. I try to prepare myself for the questions she will soon be asking but I am so filled with anger and mistrust that I feel no matter how careful my words are she can sense my true fears. How can I assure her and prepare her for the future when I am so unsure myself?

Hi ellasmom!

Well, I know parents tend to think that their children are to young to understand such adult situations. You would be surprised! I learned that being honest with them and sharing your fears will help a bit. If they sense that things aren't right at home and you don't try and explain what is going on, children feel you can't trust them enough, so why should they trust you? Think of it like this: at least she has the love of both parents in her life. Some kids just know either mother OR father, never getting to know both. Hang in there.....

Hi,

May I poke my nose in?

I'm sort of in the same boat here. Two kids, single parent struggling big time, little if any family help. Very little. The kind you would have to find with a microscope.

After my divorce I thought I was a great little "hottie" and ready to be free again. I did date some at first but they all only wanted to get in my pants to be honest. I didn't want or care for that. I deserved better. Besides, why would one buy the cow when he gets the milk for free? They'll tell you they love you, hint of some sort of marraige down the road, they will even see you as a perfect target if they are control freaks with anger issues. Some will try to get you dependent on them. It is and will not always be like that and wasn't always like that with me but I'm sort of realisitic. A struggling single parent woman is often prey for many a man like that. There are keepers out there but you will need to be wise to find them and weed the garbage out.

Often times, there is only one thing a man wants from a woman. Can you guess what it is?

I say work on yourself first in bettering your education if there is a need for that and all other things will fall into place. Make your children your priority. They need you so badly at this time. Their father is in jail and you cannot drive. You were sent to this earth for greatness. Don't kid yourself. So many don't realize their potential because of how they were raised. Become the person that you want your children to be and don't let anyone stop you in getting there. If you do date, don't date anyone who is sloppy, lazy, uneducated. Aim for what you really do deserve. If the moon is your goal then shoot for the stars.

So, what am I doing? Well, I love my children and what I have figured out that I need to do before I can find happiness WITH ANYONE is to find it in myself. I have and am. I'm in school and working. I have financial aid and that even helps pay for child care.

My children come first because, like you, I am ALL THEY HAVE GOT! I don't want to be always going out and leaving them. I love them. I work out in the mornings, before I get them up, at home before I start off my day, sometimes before bed, after they are asleep. This helps in more ways then one and you don't have to have a big home gym to do that.

Write down all of the realistic goals you would like to have. WRITE THEM DOWN!

If you are legally not able to drive for whatever reason, and who cares why, but use that time to do things with your children or a family activity.

If you have the internet where you are and are not really able to get out of the house or pay for child care, use the internet to search for on line, ACCREDITED college courses, certificates, etc. Better your skills and please, better your education if you do not have any kind of degree. Even if you have not finished high school you can even do that on line but make sure it is ACCREDITED. Make sure it is not some junkie made up, no value fake diploma garbage.

Apply for financial aid if you can.

Once you learn to better yourself and become happier and even higher in self esteem, things around you and your perspective will change for the better. You'll find yourself in a better place in life. This is important to your children. Always value an education because it is one major key for getting out of a lot of fears and low self esteem.

I know it seems lonely and like you're "all dressed up and no place to go". Your children need you so much.

If you are hoping to date to meet a man who will ease your financial and lonely burdens, you are dating for the wrong reasons and will find more crap the goodness out of it all because it's kind of being desperate. When we are desperate then we sometimes see only what we WANT to see or how we WANT it to be but not how it really is. It opens the door for even more problems.

I wish you and your children the best of life.

hi i'm lori, live in md. i have 3 sons ages
12 13 & 17. my 17 yr old is currently in a
catholic boys home becuz he is completely out of control. i work full time and home school my younger 2 on top of it all i have laundry to do groceries to get, etc. i call off work sick sometimes just to have a day to myself. but do i relax? no. i then sit and worry about calling off sick when i'm really not and feel guilty then worry about what if they fired me, etc.....any way...i certainly understand being alone. i have no girlfriends either becuz at 36 everyone else seems to be married and they do their family thing with other couples. dating....well, i've given up in that area...seems all i ever meet are jerks who feel i have to much baggage in my life for them or else they think they see an opportunity to mooch off someone who pays the bills, etc. i have no brothers or sisters, no family except for my father who was never there through out my whole lif..he has abusive past with women and talks down to me as though without him living across town, we would have folded up and died years ago. YEAH RIGHT!!!! my mother and her side of the family have disowned me...as my being a single mom of 3 is a disgrace to them. i'm looking for friends, really. people who i have things in common with. people who understand what it's like to be alone 24/7 with your only human contact being your children and married coworkers. i get so burnt out at times i just sit and cry. would like to meet other single parents to chat with.