With the holidays rolling in I find it hard to keep everything together
If money is tight during the normal months of the year this time is stressing me to no belief……..

Swinging rent on a nice roomy condo to keep the kids out of the “Bad” neighborhoods is tough.
Add in feeding and keeping the lifestyle they have grown to love i.e. cable internet gymnastics and the other recreational activities they enjoy…. My budget is stretched thin.

Now I have to get gifts and all the contraband that goes with that for not only my children but the family that goes with them…….

No child support from my ex or any finical support of any kind.

I work hard to keep things going but it feels like I’m beating my head against that wall.
I’m stressed and finding it hard to keep it quiet I find my mind wondering to my issues and I spend a great deal less time appreciating what I have. So I’m afraid of taking things out on my girlfriend that I love deeply and truly enjoy having in my life….

I feel like a walking time bomb and little thing I could normally suppress are easily tempting to get worked up about.

I don’t know I just wanted to rant for a moment thanks for reading

Hey Bishop,

Been a while since I've posted but saw your note and felt the need.

Totally know where you're coming from. Try to keep your chin up and instead of focusing on what you can't do, focus on what you can do....sometimes the best presents are the ones that don't cost anything but your time and thought...poems, songs, handmade items or just sitting in on a weekend baking cookies with everyone. You may not be creating "presents", but sometimes memories are a whole lot better.

Bucker up camper! Hope you feel better!

Caitlin

Hang in there. It can be hard enough the rest of the year but it always gets magnified during the holidays.....this trying to be both parents, sole provider, keep our own sanity while we work on making sure the kids are doing well.

Just be sure to open up to your gf about how you're feeling. Don't be the typical guy like we all can be sometimes, stuffing it in trying to convince ourselves that we are supermen....we're not. Letting her know how you're having a hard time coping for the moment might just help cushion things with between you so that you don't just pop off sometime, plus if you are feeling this stuff it is likely showing at least a little bit and talking about it should keep her from ending up thinking you're getting different feelings about her.
And if I'm off base with all that, heck....hang in there anyway

Hang in there Bishop. I so understand what you are talking about. I'm so stressed out right now with Christmas and bills and everyone constantly wanting to do extra things. I really have money for my bills and a few things for Gabe for Christmas and that's it. And for some reason it's hitting me really hard this year. I have to wonder, will I ever feel satisfied like I am able to do enough, provide enough for Gabe. Anyways just wanted to show some support and tell ya I feel ya on this.

Also I think what Don said is a good idea, talk to your girl about all of this. I'm sure she's got some stresses going on with the holidays and such and if you two could talk about it, vent get it out, maybe laugh a little and it'll make it easier.

I hope ya get to feeling better!

Oh, I know what you're talking about. There were years when I waited till Dec 23 to get a tree because they were only $1 then and a friend just gave me $50 to buy presents since she already figured out all of my money went to food and bills.

To make the best out of the situation I would try to put a little humor in it. For example: One year I wrapped up things we already had, like the toaster or dvd movies and write something silly like "I know you love this movie so I'm giving it to you again" My kids would get into it and start wrapping up things and say " I knew you couldn't find this... so here's you're corvette hot wheel. I found it on the ground." Kinda makes you appreciate the things you have and the new things you get.

I also used to wrap up the traditional things they needed to make the tree look fuller. socks, new underwear, pencils, pj's, paper, etc etc.

You know... this is giving me ideas. I'm going to wrap up a roll of toilet paper since they have been using it for crazy (for other than bathroom use) and I've rationed it sparsely. LOL..... And my teen would love AXE stuff since it makes all the girls crave men... so says the commercial.

Thanks for the advice

I have been feeling a bit down

and I kind of got upset at my GF for small things that were bothering me and we talked for a bit and explained everything

she is great and is trying to help me as much as possible....

thanks for the love guys

Hon, I am having the same issues and ended up yelling at Kai the other day for something really stupid. I sat her down and apologized and we both agreed that we wouldn't yell. Kai says I scared her so now I feel horrible.

Anyway, things will be alright I'm sure.

You're not alone Mark. It happens to me every December. I am always stressed out at year end with all the reports, financial strains and things-to-do, things-to-buy, etc. When all the rush is over and you're with your kids on Christmas eve, opening presents, it's the only time when you suddenly appreciate Christmas. Well... just seven days to go and all this craziness will be over... I hope. LOL. So hang in there dude.

I just think Christmas is one of the most stressiest times of the year, really.

I am so not into christmas this year........(but I know I'll start to on Christmas Eve).........

everytime I see Dawn's countdown to Christmas logo I get into a mild panic.......("is that all??!!")

It's ridiculous. I've got 2 days to churn out 100-odd letters at work, all individual, with the mail merge programme (AND get them signed), I hate the way it all gets left to the last moment - waiting for the info - and it's not the only thing that has to be finished....argh!!!

Plus I have a meeting with my son's dept. head tomorrow in the middle of the working day, also left to the last minute........

I hate the way my life is dictated by everyone else's agenda!!!!!

Anyway, I've decided I'm doing a "no xmas presents this year" (my son is old enough for it), he got a psp in september and will need a new bike (bicycle) soon.........it's like he gets stuff all the year round anyway.
We're just the 2 of us and it will be a nice dinner, a box of chocolates and some good films on telly (great, cos I never get to the cinema any more). Nice and relaxed. Especially as I don't have to work the rest of the week.

I love your positive spin on christmas presents, Tessmit!

Hi I am new to the singles network here, but I want to let you know that you will make it through and God has chosen you for a special reason and that is that he knows you can do the job of single parenting. Even though at christmas time often there is not even enough money to really buy them what we want to, always remember that they will love you no matter what, I know it is hard and that sometimes we often get sad around the holidays, hey even I do, I get lonely too, and wonder am I going to be all alone someday. But I think about what I have accomplished, even if it were just raising my child and working, that is a great accomplishment, you do it alone and by yourself and you know you are strong because of it, so hold your head high and praise the Lord and know that you are loved and that a miracle will come your way someday when you least expect it and when you need it the most. Until then I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and know that you are loved.

Sandra in Fayetteville, Georgia a single mom too.

The holiday depression has been getting to me to. I have tried so hard to fight it. but I have this urge to just lock myself in my room untill January is here. Obviously ..I can't . I have the presents enough so that the kids will be pleased. almost done wrapping. Baked so many cookies you can't find the counter-tops in my kitchen. making christmas crafts with the kids. It seems like I have everything pretty much undercontroll ..heck I even made my neice and nephew a lists up for my sister and according to her bubget told her what she should buy and which store had the best deals of each thing.
My stress has nothing to do with money(not that I have lots) or not getting things done. Its simply that I don't want to go through this whole Christmas thing again alone without my husband. I am dreading it. Just want it to be over. I am walking around with a smile for the benefit of the kids and my family..I just want it to be done so I can have a good cry and get it out but right now I cant do that. I have to keep focusing on the kids and doing everything I can to make sure they don't feel sad on christmas. I'm sorry for being so depresing. I was honestly going to try not to be too much but my fingers just took over. I have lots to be thankful for. I am so discusted with myself for not feeling that as much as I should and letting the sadness consume me inside.

Bah humbug.

I've avoided this thread b/c it rings so true. I didn't want to admit that the holidays are getting me closer and closer to that black hole of mine.

I'm not working this year and it seems we didn't get adopted by a company for Christmas through United Way. We'll get a good gift check and they let me pick out 3 toys a piece through the toy drive.....but it really angered me that I couldn't do more! I promised the kids me leaving my job was going to be a positive change. If a positive change meant that Santa or Mommy couldn't really deliver this year ..ugh.

I know my kids don't really need anything and that it isn't about that...but it really is the only time of year I splurge a bit and buy toys that they really didn't need just to have fun.So I took some money that wasn't for that and went shopping. Could mean the dogs eat eggs and oatmeal next month but they'll live.

It just freaking stinks is all. And to top it off I'm having problems with my family so I really just don't want to cook them dinner for Christmas Eve or play nice at all. I'm making custom hot cocoa mix for all them as gifts and I'm really tempted to grind up some ex-lax in a couple peoples.

Wouldn't it be so freaking funny if I did? LOL I won't but oh to dream..

I was feeling that way a couple weeks ago but I finally got my first child support check since the separation. I did not go all out but I did go grocery shopping without panic or guilt. I even went somewhere other than Aldi's.

I find that when I get sad over the holidays thinking of what is bad about the holidays I am missing cheers me up. For instance: I get to stay in my pajamas all of Christmas. There is only one family event instead of rushing around to all the different family events. And the best part is that I no longer have to endure my X-mother-in-law. Man did she hate me and it was mutual. Oh and I save money on not having to buy him a gift. LOL

So what bad things do you no longer have to do now that you are single?

I've never NOT been single.

I've always put the lights up by myself. Played Santa buy myself. Ate the cookies and milk (I think we're switching to coke this year) by myself.
I've always had nobody to share it with. The good or the bad.

I've never had a man to buy a Christmas gift for.

If I could give you a wish I would send you a man to spend one christmas with. I'll also send along a programmed remote control so you can make him act exactly like you want!!