Hey, I'm a new member and was just browsing when I noticed your questions with meds. I notice through your venting a certain theme that keeps surfacing...other people. I can relate when it comes to family and friends, every one is an expert. You know, that pic of your son sitting on your lap is precious and loving. you already stated you knew you were depressed or stressed or both. Most definately, they come hand in hand.If you deside to, researching depression will help you realizeit is real and is brought on by a number of things- and for everyone it is painful, lonely and guilt often make the illness worse. Medicine may not be for everyone but it helps. Today one out of three people are on some kind of anti depressant and "other People" do not have to live your life. Are they there in the middle of the night when you lie awake crying? Have you worn out your welcome when it comes to venting? Maybe if you could take better care of yourself, recognize the unhealthy relationships around you and not confide in those individuals any more-- you might start to feel as though you were taking your life back little by little. Professional help should never seem like a shameful thing...if anything, it's you taking the responsibility of your own well being to be a happier human being- ultimately a more emotionally available single parent. Beware of family and friends- even though you know in your heart, they love you sometimes change can bring in some very unhealth and unsupportive suggestions.

Hi, I am also a new member.
I went through very similar issues regarding whether to take meds or seek help.


Krystal, everyone is different. Whatever you choose to do just make sure to take it day by day.

For me, I finally 'broke down' and went to see my primary care physician back in August. I basically told her that I thought I was losing my mind and although I was completely opposed to it perhaps needed meds cause I was not sleeping, experiencing what she informed me were anxiety attacks and a total emotional mess. When I wasn't crying I was screaming at people at the top of my lungs...including my son,which was making me fall deeper into depression.

My doctor felt I needed to find ways to decrease the stress and then see if there was a need for meds. She referred me to a psychotherapist. Since August I have been going to this therapist and things are somewhat better or at least BEARABLE. I found that a lot of the stress I was experiencing was due to my own perspective and behavior. I am learning now to, as one of the other ladies on this board put it, "PUT MY FOOT DOWN" instead of stomping, complaining and getting mad about things. Seems that with my family, my son's father and even at my job I would allow people to take advantage of me. I would complain and get nasty instead of just saying no without an ATTITUDE! To make matters worse I would always end up doing exactly what they asked me to do, but resentful about it.

Now, I try to take it one day at a time. Try to see the silber lining even while it's raining ;-)

Michell

If you are afraid of taking anti-depressants I will let you know what my doctor suggested...

It is homeopathic and it is called St. Johns Wart it is a pill and it takes awhile to get into your system but the way that it worked for me is that it made my lows a little less low. It is supposed to be a mood stabilizer. You can find lots of literature about it on the web like all the pros and cons. It did work for me and it made me feel better that I was taking something that was not "engineered" or "synthetic" as it is "organic." (Like all those terms don't you?)

I found that I can take it during the stressful times and lay off of it during the less stressful times. It keeps me from feeling like something else is doing the work for me. However, it might not be the best answer for you. I do think it is worth looking into though.

Hmmm. reading some of the other posts made me think of a book that was helpful for me in this area. It is called Boundaries They have several books, one is for parents, spouses, children, etc. Good books, check them out!

Hey there, you hang in. Your boy may just want to be pleasing the people in his life too. He's little, and wants everyones acceptance. I tried St. Johns Wort, and it did work. You just have to be careful of over exposure to sunlight with it. I also went on zoloft for a while. Not addictive, and you dont have to wean off slowly like paxil. I was also vehemently against drugs for feeling bad, but when I went to my doc. and told him "I dont want to kill myself, but if I got shot in the head, that would be ok." Its when I finally gave in and took zoloft. It worked wonders. It doesnt take away anything, it just makes you feel better. Like you can handle the overwhelming things you're going through. Or as if they are not so overwhelming as you think. It gives you a break, and lets you decide whats best for you.

Heya all
THings have gotten better in some ways because of my "avoidance" of some people, but now I am wondering if that is the problem. Actually, it is in a way. I will be moving at the end of this month to a town about 25 minutes away from here. I hope it will work. I have been looking into myself lately. Found out a few things... one thing is that having my bills caught up helps.. having my son yelling at the top of his lungs that he wants a "leapster" for Christmas and of course me not having the money for it - doesnt help. Jaren (who is 5 and diagnosed with PPD says that I am making him stupid because I am not helping him learn... I know it isnt my fault but a parent cant help feeling bad when their child is diagnosed with it. (PPD NOS = pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified - he is leaning more to Asperger's syndrome (AS) but has lots of the signs of HFA = High Functioning Autism) I feel like I am failing being a single parent to my son. I feel like I should take him over to who I have listed as his guardian if something should happen to me. She has training in this and she would help me here but she lives on the other side of the country.

So basically, I am still confused lol. I have taken stressors away from me and trying to get support with my son... emotionally. I have done so much research on AS and HFA, but I still dont know how to help my son. I dont think meds would help me... the doctor agrees that me leaving this town would be the best thing. Going somewhere where there is support and other children with PDD would help. The teacher here jsut keeps yelling at my son and getting frustrated with him. Yes I get frustrated with him and I yell too but she is trained not to do that and is trained to work with children like my son. Im not making up excuses... I know it is wrong and not helping the situation. errrrrrrrrr bet you all think I have finally lost it eh? lol feels like it when trying to explain how I feel about this.

Subject change lolol


What Christmas presents do you buy for a 5 year old that is going on 12? He is insistant on Leapster but I dont have $100 for the leapster or $40 for each book/activity card for it.

He is learning how to read now... he is teaching himself since he says that his teacher doesnt help him and he only wants me to read it to him instead of teaching him it ... because "your not a teacher mom"

Suggestions??????