Is this normal? my ex and I split up almost 6 months ago. I've even been dating. why does it hurt so bad today that hes not here? I know I hurt for my son becuase My ex isnt gonna come see him. but is that all there is to it?

he asked if he could come and see him today. I told him he could but he wasnt bringing the girlfriend because she cant handle herself around me and my son. so he chose not to come.. and then sent me on a guilt trip by making me feel like i'm keeping our son from him. which even tho I know he was just trying to make me feel guilty... it worked... but I wont let him know that. it breaks my heart that he isnt here for his son.. especially on xmas.
so we got up this morning and opened the couple presents I could afford for him. and he's playing with his toys now. why do i feel so empty?
ok well now i'm just babbling... so i'm gonna go.. sorry for throwing a pity party...

Merry Christmas staci! You're not alone this morning. You shouldn't feel bad as I agree with you. The girlfriend doesn't need to be there for dad to see his child for a few hours on Christmas morning and if she can't be big enough on this day of all days to step aside, then so be it.

Throw your guilt out the window this morning and enjoy this day with your son. Maybe dad will grow up sometime and realize what his priorities are. You are doing a great job mom!

Oh...one more thing....keep a close eye on that boy...I see the mischievous look of potted plants on the living room floor in those eyes.

staci, the guilt is not yours it is his. Don't let him project it on you. He had a choice and he made his choice. He chose to stay with the girlfriend instead of visiting his son for a few hours. You did nothing wrong by asking that the girlfriend not be there. Remember you cannot control him and this will probably come up again even when it isn't a holiday. The holidays are the toughest when we find ourselves as single parents, but everyone here helps each other to get through it.

Enjoy your son and have a Merry Christmas.

thank you guys.. it's so hard not to feel guilty.. but I know i made the right decsion by not letting her here.. it would do nothing but cause stress and tension. I just wish he would make more of an effort.. especially it being christmas.

Hey staci, welcome to SFV! You did good by not letting her into ur home. Stand ur ground and stay strong.

You have to deal with him, but there is nothing that sayz you have to put up with her. He is just going to have to learn to deal with it.

thank you paul! I keep trying to remeber that but he keeps tryin to convince me I have to learn to 'deal" with her. which is BS.

HEy Staci, its been 7 yrs that my ex has been with gf...only now they r together one day and the next week they arent together. Anyway, I have always and will continue to not deal with his gf.
If he cant call me and ask me...he dont need her callin me and I refuse to "leave messages" with her. Stick to ur guns.

Hey girly! I feel for you this holiday. Although Jake did see Elijah, he still spent Christmas morning with his daughter and her Mom. Can you say cry fest!
You did the right thing though in not wanting the other GF there. Why cause yourself more pain and stress!
*HUGS*

Meggin! my California twin! I miss u.. how are you doing? I know its hard... gotta stay strong for the lil men I dont know too much about ur situation but I can tell you it gets better.
hows ur new years going? lol... I spent the day today in the hospital because malachi was running 105 fever. but found out it was nothin but a head cold and him teething. blah. i could have screamed... and then one of my friends from MD is flying in tonight and jason is too busy to keep malachi for me. so im stuck home... but its ok.. cause i got a child support check today! WOOHOO! lol email me sometime... we need to get back to chattin on the phone... i got free long dis if u'd like to chat just email me and lemme know. i can call for free. XOXOXO <for elijah and the tummy and you.
Happy new year.
Staci

Hi Staci.

I know this was a few day's ago now. But, just to reiterate, the others are right. He's making his own decisions. Dont carry the guilt for that. The first year is absolute ****! But, it does get better with time. I know that's hard to beleive, but it does.

Hang in there gurl. If nothing else for your little man, right now. Then later for yourself. K?

Good luck, we're with you.

Ok...did I just time warp backwards? What's going on...why am I getting old post notifications?

Who am I? This is not my house.

This is not my beautiful wife? How did I get here? LOL

LOL---I got it too!