quote:

Originally posted by s2blovely:
[qb] Try and keep your head up

i have 2 kids ages 13 and 5 and i also feel very lonely most of the time. I became a parent for the first time 4 days after my 18th birthday, and have been on my own ever since. My parents separated and divorced over 20 yrs ago...and have nothing to do with my children and I. My parents only wanted one child and only had me to be a "surrogate playmate" for my older brother because back in those days, dr.'s thought it to be a bad idea for a kid to b an only child. I am a black female, ndmy brother and i both have children who r biracial which doesn't sit well with either of them, especially my mother.

In 2001 on my way home from a new job, 4 teens driving in a brand new $35,000 truck ran thru a stop sign going over 70 mph and hit me full impact, no brakes!!! I am a petite woman, 5 feet 2 inches in height and b/c i have been active all of my life, have never weighed ny more than 115 pounds, so u can imagine how physically hurt i was, but the only thing my mother said when i called to tell her the news was....U DON'T HAVE A CAR! SINCE WHEN DID U GET A CAR?

I had just endured one crisis 4 months prior when, 6 wks prior to graduating from tech school with a certificate in information technology, the school (computer learning center) closed all its nationwide schools,without a hint of what was going on to any of the students, b/c they were filing bankruptcy and going out of business ..one had been "mismanaging" the funds for years. I was summa cum laude... worked 25 hrs a week at the school as a tutor and lab tech so i lost my job as well all in the same day, but i thought all was looking up b/c i started a dream job for the phone company...sbc...not even 2 months later. I thought things were getting better...but they immediately got worse than i ever imagined they could. As u could imagine...NONE of the credits i earned up to that point were transferable to any other schools, even though they said at the time of registration that they were, so that was just one more kick n the gut.

I am 31 now and when i was almost killed in may 01, 2 months after started my dream job,(wich i was 1 of the 3 people out of the 100s who got the job that paid 24.00 per hr full medical,dental, vision benefits, 401 k plan with 80% match, 3wks paid vacation and an additional 2 wks sick leave, i mean the DREAM JOB for one like myself who doesn't have a college degree), and wouldn't need any type of gov't help or aid it just broke my heart. I a person who refuses to lie, steal, cheat like many people i know around me who have as much help as u could possibly need as a single parent financially and otherwise, but here i am trying to not only raise my children right, but live right as well, when most people my age that i know r still going to clubs and what not night after night not caring if their kids homework is done or if they r reading to them, going to every parent teacher meeting, etc...and it seems like i'm not getting anywhere b/c i move 2 spaces forward and get knocked back

A few times in my life I was "improperly touched" by a few cousins and young children in my own family and my parents circle of friends, and when i as i grew up i always swore that if I ever had children I would always b mindful as to who i allowed to be around them....whatever the cost would be to my social life...(assuming that I would one day have a social life) and i have done just that. I live in a very exciting place, (orange county, california....5 minutes from knotts berry farm, 15 minutes from disneyland and countless other amusement parks, 20 minutes from the beach, and 25 minutes from my hometown...hollywood california). There is always something to do, but when you're a single parent and money is always less than tight, it can b so depressing to be constantly reminded of the fact that u have less. I try and teach my children that money is just an illusion and that it is not what is really important in life, but i feel like such a hypocrite sometimes b/c we all know how truly important money really is! I hate driving by disneyland and through newport and laguna beach and never being able to let them really be a part of the scene...it makes me feel less than adequate even though my kids always tell me how much they like when i play with them everyday and how i quit smoking cold turkey just to show them how much i love them. I never have any adults to talk to b/c most of the people i know have help with their chidren so that they can "de-stress" and i think they r irritated with the fact that my kids r always "getting n the way". So i have no friends, no job, no one to talk to, no one for encouragement.... except, now i have all of u

I just wanted to say to u and to the entire sfv family that i appreciate the fact that i can share with all of u and feel safe n doing that. Thx 4 listening.

:lovesfv: [/qb]

quote:

Originally posted by pchillman:
[qb] thanks very much for all your support i really appriate it and your dead right about taking things abit slower but she said so many things to me that we were going to do in the future, still at this day she wont tell me the reason why she wanted us to split up, but i think i deserve a reason like anybody..she said its not me its her and she needs to get her head around all the things that happening in her life at the moment..6 yrs ago on the 20th of this month her dad died which she was very close to so maybe that has something to do with it, she also finds it hard to show her feelings to me which i clearly showed mine to her....i hope we can get it back on in the near future but i dont no..


paul...... [/qb]

quote:

Originally posted by pchillman:
[qb] hi all

Ive got 2 girls aged 12,6 and im 33 yr old single dad living in a massionette which is your house on top of another bit like flats...i recently meet a girl shortly after i moved in she is 36 with 3 kids all was really good for about 4-5 weeks she wanted me around all the time and basically could'nt get enough of me always texing her and vice verser then suddenly it stopped she started getting cold on me making excuses why i could'nt come down to see her and i would of done anything for her and she know's it too, she also told me she thinks the same of me then out of the blue she sends me a tex saying that we should cool things off for a bit n just be friends she said its not me but she dont think she is ready for commitment that she thought she wanted..she said who knows thou, maybe another time we will get it back together, now to me thats just playing with me mind i think, and im so confused and feel lonely and depressed all the time, i find it hard to make friends which is to do with talking so i dont go out much cos there is nowhere to go or do...i feel so down its unreal, does anybody else feel like this its killing me it really is..

paul........ [/qb]