Tired of this!!!!
You know I thought that after the court case I would be ok. I felt ok after the case. I could not sleep, but after hearing him lie and admitting to lying on the stand. And he admitting that his mom forged my name on the loan my name and then his mom lying that I told her my SS. They have played so may mind games with me in the last 7 years. Now they are doing it to my daughter. I did not understand that getting my grandmas quilt would affect me like this. I can seem to keep it together. I have been crying off and on. So many emotions have been coming up all at once its half making me crazy and half pissing me off.
I have stopped trying to date any one. I am talking to a guy but I just want to be a friend right now. And after having to tell another single parent Dad to get his **** together, I�m tired of this. It�s driving me crazy. These guys want to jump into a relationship and they still have feeling for their past girl friends. I understand that we all don�t want to admit we loved someone that escrowed us, but they did and we all have been stupid. I just want someone that can move on. I have enough of this stuff in my life-It�s like I attract bracken people. I don�t mind listening or being someone to lean on, but is gets old. I cannot believe I told a really great guy that I clicked with (for the first time since I was 19) and ended up telling him to get his **** together, that he was not going to be any good to me or ANYONE (and all he heard was ME) ELCE if he does not take care of his stuff. I hate this. I could see us dating for a long time, until I blow up. I am so tired of having a great time on the first date and then on the second I brake their code and find out they are not healed from the last. I wish people would stop lying to themselves. Let they heal.
I UNDERSTAND I just had a bucket of emotions opened and I stepped back. Aw!!!!

I completely understand how you are feeling right now. Let me recount just one situation with my ex....the final blow if you will. My ex took me out on a date the same day he had his lawyer preparing the divorce petition (Temporary order in KS). He signed the papers the next day(Sunday), then told me on a Monday he wanted a "separation"...on Tuesday the final blow was delivered when I was served with the papers.

For four years I dealt with my ex's out of control daughter...who lied, stole from me, went through my belongings and was manipulative at every turn. By all accounts (from his family), this child's problems began as early as 5 years old. Throughout the relationship I was also noticing little lies here and there from my husband.

So here's how I will answer your question. These are hard thruths even for me to swallow.

1. Accept that you are changed inside from being manipulated and tortured.
2. Accept that you will likely have to work through trust issues for a long time to come.
3. Learn about courting/dating. Date for a long time...don't let things move too fast and don't involve your children in a relationship you aren't serious about. If he's not worth marrying, he's not worth exposing your kids to.
4. If a guy doesn't have his **** together while you are dating there is no reasonable expection that he will get it together just because you are in his life. You can't change them...the problems they have only magnify and get more complicated when another women is involved.
5. Lying is a way of life, a choice, even an illness for some. While you are dating look for signs. Little lies add up and should not be ignored.
6. Turn to some type of faith if you haven't already. There's some truth and certainty you will find there....I guarantee it.
7. Keep corresponding with the people on this board. Many of them are very wise and have excellent advice. There is so much information here that you can learn from.

I too with people would stop lying but I think it's an unreasonable expectation. Spend the time fine tuning your filter so you have better judgement when you feel ready to date again. Also, do some things that promote healing. Now is a good time to quit something or start something.