quote:

Originally posted by smaddict:
[qb]Hi everyone, I'm new here, and before I rant to you, I should probably introduce myself. My name is Amanda, I'm 15, I'll be sixteen in like 5 days, but anyway, I'm 7 and a half months pregnant. So I am both a soon to be teenage mom, and single mom. My mom knows about my pregnancy, and is 100% supportive, and so is my best friend, and my sister.

The thing is, this whole pregnancy thing is like robbing me of my sanity! I'm the typical teen. I'm very responsible ((not saying that you teens out there aren't!)), I hate parties, I don't do drugs, and only had one sexual boyfriend in my entire life. If I was to step out of my shoes, and look at myself, I would seriously wonder how I got pregnant. I'm a total introvert in real life, I don't like strangers and pretty much un-open to change. So anyway, I found out I was pregnant when I was three months along, the week before I had split up from my child's dad. I tried to get ahold of him to tell him I was pregnant, and he told his SISTER to tell me all this stuff about me being a slut and what-not. But that's a different story. Anyway, from the beginning I've pretty much known I was going to be a single mom.

I guess you could call me a Christain, I don't go to church or anything, but I believe in God, and believe I got pregnant for a reason. The thing is though, lately I can't sleep! I wake up from these awful nightmares about people taking away my child, me losing custody of my baby, my baby dying, my baby hating me. Everything. It's gotten to the point where I don't want to go to sleep anymore. And then tonight I woke up from one of those nightmares, and I was lying in bed, and I had a panic attack just thinking that I'm never going to be a typical teen. Not that I've ever wanted to go out and party and get drunk, It's just all of the sudden I felt robbed, and that god put this pregnancy on the wrong person.

I've thought about giving my baby up for adoption, but it's not an option. I could never do that, I'd go crazy knowing there was a baby in the world that was mine that would never meet me.

I'm not sure what I'm looking to get out of responses.... Did anyone else feel this way? Do you love your child all the same? Does it ever get any easier?

Please.. I really just need someone to relate to, I feel like such a complete mess... Thank you to all who got this far in reading (=[/qb]

quote:

Originally posted by Caley:
[qb]Oh dear..welcome to the world of single parenting....yes all these emotions and insecurities are perfectly normal, albeit you are very very young and can not possible have the experience of life to enable you to rationalise and sedate your fears, but don't worry everything will fall into place as the months pass and a different perspective will fall into place and give you courage.

I am assuring you that your thoughts are normal so that you may find it in yourself to open up and go to your mum and discuss some of your fears with her, even if you were 40 years old and this was an unplanned pregnancy where the father has cleared off you would feel the strain just the same. Fear is a good thing, it prepares you and makes you double check the coulds and could nots of life...bit like if you cross the road, fear makes you check before you cross the road, complacency will make you ignore the dangers and you are more likely to forget to check yourself, establish you are doing the right thing and there for you are more likely to have a mishap!!! get the picture...so trust in your fears, rationalise them.....each mother on this board will be able to relay the stresses of the enourmous responsabilty of becoming a new mom....Ha Ha we have all got a story to tell about baby not moving in the womb for a few hours and the irrational thoughts that engulf us, also the fear of being the worst mother, not coping and someone taking the baby or the ultimate, when the baby arrives, you crave for sleep and then the one day baby sleeps very well we mothers assume irrationally that something is wrong and check for breathing, then end up waking baby...losing the advantage of baby sleeping soundly and wondering at our sanity for worrying so much...but that worrying mechanism is there for a reason, trust in it and relax.
Its 18years since my teenage pregnancy...my memory is selective but I am sure some of the younger moms will share some of their fears and then you will feel better knowing that your thought patterns are normal.

Keep in touch[/qb]