Well I didn't cry until I got to bigbobby's story then then the tears started rolling...then got to The sane one's story and cried again.
Come to think about it I have to say if my ex was there for me at not other time he was there for me during the birth of our children. He did a super job all three times. Too bad he didn't stay that supportive and ended up doing the things he did.

There are still more fathers here. If you run into them ladies, mention this thread. For us guys, these experiences are never forgotten.

JD, this is really what I am wondering about. Is the experience of actually being present during your child's birth not very disturbing, in the sense that you see and consciently realise much more than the woman, and it's not all nice, actually only the last part is beautiful, but inbetween it's mostly pain at it's worst. I don't want to rob you guys of an unforgettable experience, but if it's unforgettable because it was really horrible, then be honest and tell us.

No red...you're not taking anything away at all. The experience is phenomonal. For nine months we get to listen to descriptions of what's going on in our partner's pregnancy but when the big show starts it's for real then. I think it takes the visual aspects for all the previous thoughts and discussions to come to light for us.

It's not disturbing (unless like in Dave's case when a complication happens) but rather illuminating and awe inspiring. But that's just my view. I'm really interested in the other father's points of view. For the record, the most interesting thing is the umbilical cord. Wierd huh? It marvelled me at the precise helix and natural engineering of it. It was fascinating.

LOL
I cut Ian's myself, but I didn't really take the time to study it.

OK! B, I was moved to tears over this whole thread, too. I've said it a million times, but you men on here are the best. Sane One, that was a great story, and I'm glad to see that you aren't jaded over it since the relationship didn't work out. They are all very beautiful stories, and I hope more of the men come in to share what happened w/them. I don't know that I could handle watching a birth by someone else, but it is good to know that you men can handle it!

Can anyone join? Hey guys. Which pregnancy would you all like to know about?
Any way I can not tell you Kevin's view point but I can tell you how I saw him react to things.
He was not real active in any of the pregnancies. He would get a little protective of me doing certain things but it was pretty much me. The only time he came to the doctor with me was when there was a problem. He did not do a lot of feeling the baby move and I got the impression he got tired of me telling him about the baby.
The first pregnancy he did get a little nervous towards the end when I packed a bag and put it by the bedroom door. When it was time to go he hardly said a word in the car and very little at the hospital. I think it was nerves. When I refused drugs he did ask if he could have them. When Robert was born I did not see a lot of Kevin. Robert was real blue from the cord being rapped around his neck and body. Kevin went around the corner behind the baby warmer and watched as they checked him out real good and he got his color back. This tells me he was really moved. When I did get him and checked him from head to toe. Kevin informed me that he was perfect and no missing parts. I think it moved him more than I will ever know. I think he was not real active in the pregnacies because it was not "real" to him until they were here. If that makes sence. Probably more the men than women would that make sence.
After the third baby it started becoming old hat. I would start contractions 2 weeks before I would deliver and 2 days before I would deliver I would have them all day long for the most part regular. On the day of delivery I would feel real bad and lay around for the contractions. When they got bad it was time to go. We would drop kids off at grandmas and move on to the hospital. My fourth one he was in the hay field so I drove to my in-laws while he finished the field and went home to take a shower. That one was a little nerve racking since my mom-in-law thought I was going to have that baby in her kitchen. I delivered within 10 minutes of being at the hospital.
But it was the same with 8 of them. We got to the hospital, I would hold his hand and rock, I would get sick, roll over and have a baby. Every one I refused drugs and he offered to take them instead, for his hand I was holding.
My last one had to be different. My water only seeped, I got sick 2 hours before I delivered, I had an epideral because of some minor complications. She pooped and had to have her nose and throat cleaned out before she was delivered so she would not breath it in. When she was born my water gushed after and the doctor almost dropped her in the bag.
On my 6th delivery we had a young mouthy nurse who never had a baby. Kevin told her that we knew more about having a baby than she did and to shut up or get out. Which is what I would have told her. A new nurse came within a few minutes.
I will tell you this. Even though I do not know his true deep feelings. I was very glad he was there with every one of them and every moment. He held my hand when I needed it and would tell the nurses what I wanted normally before I needed it. Like I said it became old hat. It was great not having to really ask for things. Him being able to do this for me tells me he really cared and paid attention to my needs.
The end.

Toomany, I know your story and shed a tear for you. It was wonderful and I'm glad you spoke for Kevin. Sounds like he was ready for you even if he wasn't ready for the process. He was a wonderful man and now he is a part of us too.

And if Kevin could, I'm sure he would agree with me; each event is awe-inspiring. I like how he asked for the drugs when you declined. And how the heck could you not accept the painkillers?

LOL. Their dad was not there for either of my babies births but my Dad was. Daddy witht he first one sat in a chair by the window counting pidgeons and when he had counted all of them he started naming them. His other job was to be telephone operator. With the second one, he stayed at home and took care of Simone for me. A memory of him I will always treasure. I have pictures of him singing to both of them hours after I had them, he always sang.

Tomany: thank you for the cute and touching stories. You husband sounds like he was a good and caring man.

I asked for the father's views. My mistake. The grandfathers should have been included. I know your story too Pita and thank you for sharing that too.

I think it's evident now that although the ladies take the physical brunt of the experience, the emotional highs and lows are shared by the men in your lives.

I love that last sentence JD, I wish more men were able to express their feelings better, like you and the other guys here on SFV. But then it's just a question of practice, sometimes.
A year on SFV should be part of any parenting course .

Jd you did not make a mistake at all. Grandfathers are Fathers too you know.

I am loving this thread. It makes me tear up anytime I read a story so heartfelt, by moms or dads. I think that a lot of people don't think about what the dad is going through. I have pictures of my son's dad holding my hand all through the night (Alex was born at 3 am after we ALL had been up all day working). I have no recollection of what was going on and don't remember the photos being taken (they gave me so many drugs I don't remember anything). But just to see him there, all sleepy-eyed, beside me the whole time... wow.

quote:

Originally posted by --red--:
[qb] A year on SFV should be part of any parenting course . [/qb]

You may be on to something there Red.