Hey everyone I know it's been about a month since I last posted.. the hectic life a new mom you know.. Things have certainly changed. Anyway I've been meaning to post his birth story, so here it goes!

December 27... I was a week overdue, and going crazy... It wasn't even so much the uncomforts of pregnancy, as much as the anticipation of giving birth.. That alone is probably one of the most nerve racking emotions I've ever felt in my young life.. And on this particular night I was as well armed with the knowledge that at 6 am the next morning I would be induced... So now it wasn't even the feeling of "it could happen" but "it's GOING to.." Needless to say I spent this entire night pacing.. Everyone said get some sleep.. thats a laugh.. I finally gave up on sleep at about 4 am when I realized I'd do better to be packing the car than bothering with an hour of zzz's...

December 28, 5 am.... Well, about this time everyone in my house was preparing to go to the hospital.. In a flurry of last minutes, we finally got everything together (Yeah I could have done all this while I was tripping the night before, but thats never really been my style lol), only to find that our cars were STUCK.. We had had a lot of snow in the previous days and I believe at this point we were at a level 3 emergency.. our roads hadn't been salted.. and we weren't moving.. It took about an hour but thank god for four wheel drives, we got on the move... On the up side helping dig out the tires definately got my mind off of what was about to happen to me lol.

So we finally got to the hospital at 7:30.. I'll be late for my own funeral one day I swear.. and they took me directly back and got me all hooked up to the IV and moniters.. Then they started the citotek (sp?, I don't remember if this is even the exact name, it's all kind of a blur) So all that was left was waiting for it to take effect, which they said would be about 5 hours.. At 1pm my doctor came back, only to say that it wasn't working and we needed another dose twice as strong... Imagine my dismay at this point.. so they dosed me up again and the next 5 hours commenced... at 6pm I was still on 3cm so I decided to walked around.. Raven (my best-friend) and I walked all over that hospital until I couldn't take it anymore, which wasn't as long as you think lol.. So at 7:30 we were back in the room playing crazy 8's... not real sure why we played that, we never do.. just seemed like a good idea at the time.. By 8 pm we were starting to get somewhere.. So they gave me the pitocin and by 9 pm we were REALLY starting to get somewhere.. I finally started getting a little uncomfortable.. up until this point I felt nothing except the constant annoyance of the IV.. So when I really started to get uncomfortable they gave me this stuff called Stadol... let me tell you I have never been that tore down, that fast.. One minute I was fine, the next, the whole room had taken on new, much more interesting vibrations.. lol.. this is where things kind of get fuzzy ladies and gentlemen.. I spent the next while playing cards and talking about old times... all my girls were there, Raven Lisa Dawn (You Guys ROCK!! I owe you for this one).. It was fun, seriously.. But then things got serious..

Now I had been terrified, I repeat, TERRIFIED, of the epidural.. but as luck would have it, the stadol doesn't last forever.. Pain won out in the end and gave me some perspective on my fear.. Thats not to say the epidural wasn't bad.. it was worse than I thought, just in a different way.. I spent all that time worrying about the needle.. no.. when they MISS with the catheter, it feels like someone stuck a live wire in your back.. when they miss TWICE, you're ready to kill people... So there I am, messed up on stadol, trying to keep my composure, while this chick is trying to get it in the right place.. after the second miss we had to wait because I was flipping out.. lol.. but the third time she got it, and injected the most wonderful stuff.. It felt like a cool waterfall running down my back, and I immediately felt no pain, anywhere.. Not that the pain had really been bad up to this point, I had definately expected worse.. the epidural was the worst so far... Of course when something seems too good to be true... it probably is...

At about 10:30 pm my water still hadn't broken... So of course that was the next step.. I wasn't worried about it.. I mean, they do this everyday right, whats there to worry about? So the nurse comes in, with some crazy looking doctor whom I'd never met.. Oh well, so many people had been 'down there' today, whats one more... It's funny how impersonal things are when your having a baby.. Anyway, so he goes to break my water, I feel nothing, then all the sudden the nurse and doctor start freaking out.. They pushed me up on my side, threw the oxygen on my face, offering no explanation.. But I could read the answer in there eyes.. I didn't know exactly what was going on, but I understood the severity enough to let them do what they had to until they could explain it all to me.. I remember just looking out the window, and beginning to cry.. You know, this was a big moment in my life.. up until this point I was just pregnant.. I mean I knew about the baby.. but.. i don't know it wasn't real to me.. I think in that moment I almost lost him, that it was the first moment I realized I truly loved him.. I just kept thinking in my head "God, you can't take him now.. it's too late I love him, what kind of god would let me love someone then take them this way.." I begged with god... And then just like that everyone calmed down... I'm not sure how long I was in limbo not knowing if he was ok, it felt like eternity, it could have been 5 minutes...
Before they even told me what happened they both left the room, I think now it was to compose themselves... They nurse and doctor got pretty freaked out.. They finally came back and told me what had happened, evidently when they broke my water there was a lot of blood, and his heart-rate nearly stopped.. they thought my placenta had abrupted.. But as it turns out I was fine, and he's a soldier, just a little pissed off about us messing up his little uterine world.. After this scare I wasn't even pissed off about the hours of down-time we had before us..

December 28, 3 am... Now.. We'd all been sitting there for hours.. the baby was ok, we'd recovered from our scare... I was really starting to get irritated though, we'd been there for almost a DAY! and I was STILL in labor.. About this time my doctor came in and told me it was time to start pushing... It's funny, you see all these movies about it and everything.. but it was almost humorous to see me pushing.. I had 2 shots of that epidural stuff.. I felt nothing.. In between pushes we were all still laughing and talking... this went on for two hours... Two hours can do a lot to a person.. During hour 3 I started getting real tired.. Keep in mind that at this point I hadn't slept in almost 48 hours... I was tired, starting to feel pain, and real P.O'd lol... I remember freaking out because the doctor kept saying "it's going to be soon" and I looked at him and asked "What the in **** is YOU'RE idea of soon? Because 3 hours is NOT "soon" to me!" Everyone laughed at me... I was a little amused myself I must say... But that comment lead me to many outburst after.. especially when at 6 am the doctors presented me with a choice.. I could let them try forceps, or I could do the c-section...

Now I have nothing against c-sections... not morally or anything.. It was merely the fact that I had been working so damn hard, for so damn long to get this baby into this world, and for someone to be like "ok well let's do a c-section" really rubbed me the wrong way.. It's like, that info would have been more helpful say 24 hours ago!!! So I fought with them.. I begged to try the forceps until they stuck it too me like this.. "We can try the forceps but his head is too big for you, and they probably won't work, and you'll be doing the c-section anyways with twice the recovery time..." Basically they scared the ***** right out of me lol... Recovery time was a big thing for me (another reason I ddin't want the c-section) because this was december 28, I was supposed to start back to school on January 10th... you can see the dilemma.. I think the fight went on for about 30 minutes when they finally got me to agree, and wisked me off to the OR...

What sucked most about this was now I had to choose only ONE person to be with me... how do you choose between your three best friends... and I would have just compromised with my mom, but she's blind and only ONE person could go back.. so she couldn't go alone, and I had to pick someone else... Raven and Lisa fought it out and Raven came back with me.. I was so out of it, I was incapable of making this decision for them thank god....
This part was probably the worst of it all.. I mean, they drugged me up good.. but there just aren't enough drugs to block the pain of someone slicing you open and tying to dislodge another person from your loins.. lol.. He was stuck pretty good from all the pushing.. I thought someone was jumping up and down on me.. Finally I heard it.. that beautiful cry, lusting for life.. That voice that I had imagined all my life.. He was finally here, finally alive in front of me... I can't tell you the relief I felt... the whirlwind of emotions... at this point, I passed out... lol..

I woke up in recovery, with this beautiful person lying next to me.. I won't go into the intimate details of those first moments together.. One, because I'll never be able to adequately describe them in words, and Two, those moments will forever be ours and ours alone...

Jared Lee Amadeus ******, was 7 lbs 15 oz.. 21 inches long... After our 24 hour ordeal, we spent the next few days in the hospital getting to know one another... I went home on New Years Eve.. And spent it a home of course with my mom and new baby.. let me tell you, I've never had a better one... I wasn't even sad I missed the party lol..


Things have definately settled down since then.. Jared is doing great, I'm fully recovered.. I even started school on time... Jared's father has put forth a lot of effort to be in his life, and mine... but there's a lot of trust issues to be handled before I say "lets give it another go.." But it's a definate possibility...

It's been one long crazy trip you guys... I wouldn't trade it for the world...

I Love You Jared!!

Rae )O(
Punk Rock Mom

P.S. Jaysdad -- I told you I'd finally get around to writing this.. lol I hope you're doing well!! Thanks for everything.

Congratulations,
I am proud to share the same birthday with him

Congratulations, we were just writing about you the other day, wondering how everything was going

It sounds like you have a fairly happy memory of the whole thing, which is great to hear. Congratulations on your little one! Such a great name you picked as well!

I'm chuckling with laughter here. I have no idea why Don would edit your post except that your emotions sound really really almost too good to control. I'm so happy for you Rae. I'm glad I was able to help as you have helped me more than you know. My best wishes and congratulations to you and Jared (YEEEAAAAHHH! Jared) and dad.

quote:

I have no idea why Don would edit your post

Just a word that isn't allowed even if the i was a * so it got through auto edit. I think the auto edit must have gotten one of the other words.

Still, gotta just love the excitement in the post. OH, and the birthday LOL.

You're so right D. She sounds like she is walking on air and her own "autoedit" got disabled. Such a happy story.

Now that is why I have so much respect for you ladies. To go through all of that and come out of it so happy. Us guys couldn't take that kind of pain without a few choice words too I'm sure.
In fact we have a hard time just surviving the flu.

Congrats, PunkRockMom & baby Jared! What a great ending, huh? I'm so glad to hear that all worked out fine and you and baby are doing well. Enjoy every second you get whil he is little. The time never lasts long enough.

Congrats!!!

lol You guys, I did the edit myself.. and the one on his name was because I didn't want to put his last name on here but didn't want it to seem like it was Amadeus.

But yeah all in all it was an awesome experience.

Peace,

Rae

Take care Rae. I hope you visit often.

Congrats Rae
Keep us up to date on how you and Jared are doing

Hey I just found this post. I was wondering whatever happened to you. Great read! I laughed my tail off - you're hilarious!

Congratulations on your little one. Hope things work out for the best with his dad.