Hi I am 18 and graduate in like 24 hours. I have a friend that is scared to go to college and is thinking about just getting pregnant so she doesnt have to face the world. I dont know what to tell her to make her see that isnt a good option? Help scared for her friend.

I have talked to some girls who all they want is a baby. They are so set in their ways that you have to say just the right thing to get them to stop. I suggest telling her that if she has a baby, she will have to face the real world and get a job. If she has no job she will have no life insurance for her baby. She may not even have insurance for herself because not all insurances accept teen or single mother pregnaancies. Most of them don't unless you are still under your parents insurance. She will also need lots of money for food and clothes. You can't get on welfare just like that. You have to wait until you are accepted, and if she is able to get a job (no dissabilities) then they may not give her the money. I hope this will knock some sense into her because it would me!

Anahiem Cali? I live in La Habra! Wow... just let her spend a day with me...she'll see!! A baby is more work than college. I do both, trust me. A baby is not an excuse, it's a person too and it costs money to have a baby. More than she has and more than she will have without going to college. What she will end up having to do is get pregnant, and then go to college and struggle through college with a baby. That's more work than it was to begin with. Email me and tell me more. Just send me a private message here. Hope to hear from you soon!
Melissa

quote:

Originally posted by Shinapena:
[qb]Hi I am 18 and graduate in like 24 hours. I have a friend that is scared to go to college and is thinking about just getting pregnant so she doesnt have to face the world. I dont know what to tell her to make her see that isnt a good option? Help scared for her friend.[/qb]

Your friend shouldn't feel as if she has to get pregnant to not go to college. I am 19 years old and have 3 kids, I work and attend college. Kids are special gifts from God, that's true; but don't try to get pregnant just because you don't want to go to school. Honestly, getting pregnant doesn't really excuse you from going to school and I prove that. Being 19, with 3 kids is hard. Do you really think college is somewhere I wanted to go. After graduation my mother pushed me more to go to school. She said college brings a promising future. Trust me on this don't have kids until you've lived your life. Honestly, high school & college is the best times of your life. You get to get away from home, it's like being on your own. I highly recommend that you go to college and have children after you've done everything there is to do!

I would ask her , why she thinks that a baby would be easier? A child is a huge responblity for the rest of your life. Ask her how she will support herself and the baby, what about the father.? Maybe she needs to have to carry around one of those dolls that have the computer chip in them that cry all the time...

I will pray that your friend sees that this is not a solution..

Try babysitting someone else's infant for 24hours and then rethink the issue.

Okay a little reality for your friend and i don't want it to sound mean....
I am 21 years old working a full time job with 2 kids and bills. Ask your friend if she can afford this..
Diapers$20-$60 a mth Formula$50-$200 a mth
Dr. appt$20-$40 a mth Cloths $$$$$
Medicine$100-$500 a mth

Being a mom is not easy. the only life you have is your kids(not a bad thing). you have no friends, nothing for yourself etc. Everything you receive goes to our kids. I work hard everyday to bring all that money home to the bills and my kids. you don't see me in that equation. I am that if i have extra money after my bills are paid and my kids have what they need then maybe i'll get to treat myself to a lil something then i start the month over again.

Sorry if it was rude but tell your friend that is reality.
u can write back if u have to.

I totally agree, I baby is just too much to handle and exspensive. They also need alot of attention. You have to take care and responsible for the next 18 years of their life. How do you plan to support you and your baby? Does the father support you and your deicison? I had one of those little dolls with the chip that really cries etc. And every since I told myself that I would never have any kids and look where I ended up? Trust me they are really exspensive. I spend about $200/300 on clothes and shoes each month and daycare,and food.
During my pregnancy,I lost alot of friends, trust,and independence.

quote:

Originally posted by Shinapena:
[qb]Hi I am 18 and graduate in like 24 hours. I have a friend that is scared to go to college and is thinking about just getting pregnant so she doesnt have to face the world. I dont know what to tell her to make her see that isnt a good option? Help scared for her friend.[/qb]

All that i probaly could say is for you to let her know how hard it is to deal with a child and that so much is coming up for her in the future

Well, Well, Well, ask your friend if she is ready to pay for daycare, which is in my state anywhere from $500.00 on up per month. That is just daycare, ask her where is she and the baby going to live and does she expect to make more than 15,000 a year if she is lucky she'll get a 17,000 dollar job that will not even cover her bills. The average apartment rents for no less than $500.00 per month unless you go to the low income and then they are not in decent neighborhoods. Is she ready for all that plus the late night feedings and sometimes crying all night then having to go to work the next day.

But the reality check is that she wishes to mess up her future because she is scared to go to college, maybe she should start at a community college to see if college is for her, because it's not for everyone, but don't bring a baby in to a situation where she and her intended baby father who will almost certainly walk away if he's a teenager can not properly take care of it. That not only puts a strain on her but her parents as well because they will probally have to support her and the baby.

It's scary out here in this world and it will consume you if you are not old enough, responsible enough to be out in it,and it clearly shows that she is not responsible enough because of the decision she is about to make and guess who will pay for her decision, Yeap! the baby will. Tell your friend she has her whole life a ahead of her she has plenty of time for making babies for the right reason, don't make a decison that will change that.

Tell her to think about her future and don't dim the light. I am very disturb by this Does she think this is a game of dolly where like when she was tired of the doll she put it away, a baby never goes away until they are her age and then some still don't go then. tell her ot think long and hard before she does this.

I am 20 years old with a 2 1/2 year old little girl. I had my daughter at the age of 17 and if your friend thinks it would be easier to have a baby she's nuts! I am just now enrolling to college b/c first off the college day care doesn't take kids until they are 2 and potty trained, regular day care is REALLY expensive not to mention buying her clothes and shoes. Let her know how selfish it is for her to want a baby for that reason, b/c it is. She's not taking into consideration everything she'll put into a baby, and what happens when she does want to go to school? She'll have to work part time and go to school AND be a full time mom, at least with school and work you get days off, being a mom is a 24/7 job, no sick days, no time off, no personal days nothing. I don't regret having my daughter b/c she is what gives me the strength to pursue my dream but it's not fair for a child to be born so she doesn't have to grow up, b/c in the end she will have more responibilities than she cares to admit.

quote:

Originally posted by Shinapena:
[qb]Hi I am 18 and graduate in like 24 hours. I have a friend that is scared to go to college and is thinking about just getting pregnant so she doesnt have to face the world. I dont know what to tell her to make her see that isnt a good option? Help scared for her friend.[/qb]

Maybe pick a few of the examples below and try to explain to her that this is not exagerated one bit:

if you have a baby ....

You will never sleep for longer than 3 hours straight for a year.
You will have to feed your child an average of 8 times per day (every 3 hours) for the first 6 months at least, around the clock, every day.
You will never have 2 free hands any more, one (at least) is always used for the child.
You will always carry a bag with stuff around
You can never again go out at night without planning to have a babysitter, and paying him, and you will always be afraid of that phone call (the child woke up and is crying and won�t calm down)
You will never go out for dinner any more
You will not go out for movies any more
If you want 2 free hours, you must pay for it
You can not have a snack without the kid also wanting one
You can never do paperwork (taxes !) except when you paid for a babysitter
You cannot go throw out the trash without hurrying, because you know the kid is alone in the house
You cannot go get a pizza quickly
You can only have a relaxed bath if your kid is asleep (and stays so)
Every hour you work you have to pay for the babysitter
You cannot go ice skating any more
You must pay for a babysitter to get a haircut
You have to do your shopping in the time the baby is in a good mood or sleeping or everyone will look at you and think you are a bad parent because the kids is hungry, or has a full nappy, or�
You can never go skiing any more
You cannot go dancing any more
You will loose all your friends, because THEY go to movies, dinner, dancing, skiing, skating�.and you always have to say NO
You will be wondering what to do on grey days, with the baby, alone, at home, or every winter evening.
Forget any hobbies you had, the baby won�t let you.
You cannot read a newspaper any more without someone ripping it or crawling over it.
You cannot go hiking any more, except if you can carry 12 moving kilos on your back.
You cannot read a book, because that is exactly when the baby stops playing alone.
You can sit on the couch and watch the baby though
You can never put your book or your cup of tea on a low table any more
You can never leave your open lap top around
You can never again leave a pen lying around if you don�t want to have your walls re-decorated
You cannot go to the toilet alone any more
You cannot take a shower alone any more
You will end up having your entire and sole social life on the internet
You cannot go on the internet without a child on your lap you have to keep telling NO, DO NOT TOUCH THE KEYS
You can not �quickly change your winter tires� any more
You cannot go for your 40 minute jog any more
If you want to go work, you have to find child care that�s open long enough and available and not too expensive, and you will still put at least 50% of your income into it, and that is if you make more than 30000 a year !
If you go for an interview, you will try to avoid saying to your potential future employer that �that time is not good because..the child sleeps, or because you have no babysitter for those 2 hours�.
�and if they have a month of holiday in summer you will start panicking
�and if your child is sick you will have to have a very understanding employer (children are always sick)

Well said, red.

With SO MANY things available to us...SO MUCH OPPORTUNITY...Why in the world would she want to be a single parent? I haven't met ANYONE who "wanted" to be a single parent...YIKESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS...That scares me to think that our younger generation thinks that having someone in your life to love you back could come from an INFANT...that astounds me....Do not interpret that I'm saying a child, a blessing from God, can not love us back...that is not what I am stating...but the love that some of us are searching for will not be found in having a baby....

So many of our kids are not being loved, not shown love, don't know what the definition of love is, and so they think giving birth to a REAL LIVE HUMAN BEING will take up that empty space....NOT..... My life is forever changed because I made the choice to have my children, not to be doing it as a single a parent......AND MY PARENTS SHOWED ME LOVE IN ALL CAPACITIES.....ALMOST 20 YRS AGO.....

We all have choices....I chose life for my daughter and those to follow, however...looking back on it....I'M FINISHING UP COLLEGE LATER IN MY LIFE....the bills are NEVER-ENDING...time alone to do things JUST FOR ME....NOT....YOU SACRIFICE ALL OF YOUR ADULTHOOD FOR THEIR LIVES......

Tell her, please make the choice of TAKING CARE OF SELF...there's nothing wrong with being selfish at that age...GET EVERYTHING YOU CAN POSSIBLY WANT AND NEED IN YOUR LIFE...achieve all those goals....HAVE A PLAN, FOR GODSAKESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS....do not choose to be a SINGLE PARENT on purpose.....

She is in my prayersssssssssssssssssss.....

I'm not coming off mean...EXTREMELY CONCERNED.....