I had a best friend for 7 years that one day, just stopped calling. This was after a "beyond friendship" move on his part but there wasn't nothing negative that happened from that. Anyway, it seems a lot more lately that friends I thought I had, really aren't friends. Or they just stop calling/talking to me, and other mutual friends, without a forwarning. Even when I'm in a bad mood or depressed, which I currently happen to be in that mode, I still talk to my friends and try to be a good friend even when I dont physically see those people often. I just dont understand why this seems to happen to me a lot. If there's something wrong with me, I wish someone would tell me.

Now on the other hand . . . I have friends that dont leave me alone. I love it! They are always there, they know me, they know what I go through on a daily basis and they care for me. I have a new friend BTW who is just dreamy and I believe if things go right . . . our friendship will eventually turn into more. He loves everything about me, I love everything about him. But he lives in DC and I live in Michigan. So, long distance friendships do work, since I have a few others that have been working. Anyway, I wondered if anyone else has an issue with friends "dropping off the earth," or if this is just something with me.

I do need to add that most people on this site that I've spoken with have been wonderful friends and I value their advice, criticisms and opinions. I love you guys!

I have to confess, I was one of those friends that dropped off the face of the earth. Not yours, lol, but another former friend of mine that I knew since high school.

I made a conscious decision to cut that friendship off for a few different personal reasons, that at the time I thought were valid, and still do.

Just wanted to say that sometimes its not about you, its about them. That's the way it was for me, for the most part. I still think about that person, and I'm tempted to call every once in a while, but its been a year now, so I don't think I'd be well received.

Just move on and don't take it personally.

I feel dumped...

Today, when I needed my friends the most, none were available. Some are sitting uni exams, some are working, some are in other cities working. My parents were working, my sister was working and my ex was being a total ^%£(&%£".

For the first time in my life, I realise that there is only one person I can totally depend on and trust, who'll drop everything for me when I need them to... myself.

Except, I couldn't today either. I was too far gone to save myself. I've been crying all afternoon.

Friends come and go, and those who do stick around are worth their weight in gold. I just wish the friends I had that HAVE stuck around could have stuck around a bit nearer to me so we could meet for lunch once in a while.

Another friend once told me

"Friends move in and out of our lives as and when we need them"

I've also had several friends disappear. Some I've even made a special effort to get back in contact with and I'm left with no responses. As much as it can hurt sometimes, they just aren't meant to be. I have some newer friends that have been my complete support system the last couple years and like first-timer said, I almost feel like they were put in my life for a reason, to get me though this when the other "friends" couldn't.

When I had my daughter my friends went from many to 2. Almost over night. I have come to realize that I have a lot of people that I know and very few friends. I have "dumped" friends and been dumped. I liked "Friends move in and out of out lives as and when we need them". Its so true! I have done most of my growing up when I thought that I didnt have any friends or anyone else to count on. But there was always someone there watching out for me but waiting until I asked for the help or advise.

I definately know now who my friends are. I have 3 really good friends that I talk to on a daily basis. I love them all, and one of them is a single parent like me with an ex-husband that I would prefer got hit by a truck. I'm just upset that the people that I thought were my friends, have decided that my friendship isn't worth anything . . . or at least that's how I feel they think. I'll get over it eventually I guess. I have too many other things going on to worry about that too much.

quote:

Originally posted by XeraRose:....Just wanted to say that sometimes its not about you, its about them.....Just move on and don't take it personally.

Well...for me...it WAS ME...a few times. Yep...:shaking head:

One...I smacked in the back of the head on stage...and well....they didnt like that....yep, Gone.

One,...I pants'ed in front of some girls....Yep, gone.

One....I did the old plastic wrap on the toilet trick...Gone.

One I did an "under the arm, fart" at his house during dinner...gone...

and one time...at band camp....

LOL @ Paul

my oh my your are a devious one.

I tend not to keep that many friends so I don't have that issue anymore.

From the age of about 16-25 I had nothing but that...friends dropping off the face of the earth.

Really, some of them were not as good of friends as I thought and others well..I think we were just headed in entirely different directions with our lives that perhaps we had nothing in common anymore.

I am happy with two good friends and that is all I really need. The other people I know are more like acquaintances rather than friends as I don't share all my personal stories with alot of people. One of them actually was a person I didn't really think I had anything in common with her, and we didn't dislike each other, but we didn't want to talk to each other either. Now we are each other's pests literally and it has been 13 years. The other one was my son's teacher when he was in grade 2 and we have become good friends and that is all I really need.

Besides...I kinda want to make room for the person who will be my life partner as well. In the meantime I work on myself, my son and my financial goals.

This has happened on many occasions for me too.

Sometimes it was me and sometimes it was others. When I first became seperated I was befriended by a woman I met over the internet We both belonged to the same website and found out that we live about 20 minutes away from each other. We both had become single at the same time and we were there for each other when we needed a shoulder to cry on. Our children were the same age and attended the same school. I thought how wonderful to find someone going through the same issues as myself. Then one day she just stopped returning my calls. I did a little soul searching to try to figure out what I did wrong. I contacted her and she informed me that she was getting back with her husband and I told her that I was happy for her. She then proceeded to tell me that we no longer had anything in common and she didn't want to talk to me anymore.
Then one of my friends reminded me of something that I am sure that everyone knows.
Many people travel through our lives and we both take what we need from certain relationships and then move on. It sounds kind of harsh but when you really think about it, it so true. Not to say that some of the friendships made won't last forever.

I had a friend all through my young childhood. She was there for me through the death of both my parents when I was in school. After high school we went our seperate ways. About 10 years I go I spoke to her briefly and it was if time remained the same. The other day I got an email from her out of blue.

quote:

Originally posted by paulj_in_phx:
Well...for me...it WAS ME...a few times. Yep...:shaking head:

One...I smacked in the back of the head on stage...and well....they didnt like that....yep, Gone.

One,...I pants'ed in front of some girls....Yep, gone.

One....I did the old plastic wrap on the toilet trick...Gone.

One I did an "under the arm, fart" at his house during dinner...gone...

and one time...at band camp....

I don't know that I would have dumped you as my friend Paul, but I can honestly say that I would have had to pop you on the head for most of that!

Peopl are very complex. You never know where someone is and so much of what they do is based no what they have been through. I lost a friend to drugs and thougt about her everyday until the day I found out she had died in an accident. I still look for her when I drive through her part of town. Partially it is because I didn't get closure. Maybe the lack of closure is what makes us so disturbed at the loss of the friendship?

So, on Friday a friend (who was my best friend in high school and we caught back up about 4 months ago and it was like time never happened) stopped talking to me. Because I told her I wasn't able to hang out with her that night. She hasn't called since and usually i hear from her everyday and we usually hang out on the weekends she has her daughter, which was this weekend. She has been having lots of issues with her current boyfriend and calls me crying and to vent, which is fine. But he cancelled on her on Friday also(which happens often). The last time she called was after her bf cancelled and she was all pissed off and down. I understand how she feels but she doesn't need to take it out on me. At this point, I have decided that people can either be my friends or not. I'm not going to worry about it anymore. I have too many other things to worry about.

Time can heal issues like that. Let her cool off for a bit. It has happened to the best of us to freak out on someone else...not that it makes it right...of course it doesn't.

And your absolutley right, she doesn't need to take it out on a friend who has been there listening to her. I hope she comes to her senses.