Hi everyone!

I'm newer to the board, and my husband passed away on June 4. I am so devestated and don't know what my life is going to come to. I was married almost 14 years and we spent the entire marriage working, having kids and really not having much fun - that was something we were going to do "later" - maybe. My husband was a computer programmer who liked computers far too much - a little nerdy and into science fiction which I thought was an adorable trait. I was very outgoing and loved to do fun things, but after we married, I pretty much just adapted to my husband's introverted way of life. I loved him very much, but now I feel so lost. My husband started having health problems two years ago, and I've been dealing with depression and exhaustion. There has been some relief with my husband no longer suffering, but I just feel like nobody will love me again and feel the same way about marriage that my husband and I did. My in-laws are even getting on with their lives better than I am. I'm a stay-at-home mom to two children, and I am going to be kept busy with going back to school and getting a job in a year or so (hopefully). My husband was my best friend, and he accepted me for who I was and I gave everything I had to him, and really lost myself especially in his health problems. I just feel really unattractive and lonely - I suppose this is part of grief. Thanks for letting me vent.

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I am so devestated and don't know what my life is going to come to.

endings are doors to new beginings. It's a little scary at first but you will find in time there are many opportunities out there to experience for you to go after.

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I was married almost 14 years and we spent the entire marriage working, having kids and really not having much fun - that was something we were going to do "later" - maybe. My husband was a computer programmer who liked computers far too much

You know, many of my married friend who's husband in this field tell me that computers are the other woman in their life. They tell me they spent many lonely nights in bed alone while they programmed or tested something on their fancy PC's

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My husband was my best friend, and he accepted me for who I was and I gave everything I had to him,

One day, I wish I can find someone like you did. What an awsome relationship. I still dream I will be so lucky

If you ever want to chat and talk about the good and bad times send me a PM or post here and we'll find a way to chat

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Originally posted by Tessmit:

You know, many of my married friend who's husband in this field tell me that computers are the other woman in their life. They tell me they spent many lonely nights in bed alone while they programmed or tested something on their fancy PC's

You know you're a computer nerd if your computer costs more than your car.

Welcome to SFV mygalsal

I'm at a loss for words really to hear about your husband. I dropped by to give you my sincere condolences. Grieving is of course a natural and unpleasant stage. Loosing a husband and a best friend. I cannot imagine what your going through, but know that you will be back on your feet in just a little while. May I suggest perhaps you sign up for a bereavement group in your area, so that you can get teh extra emotional support you need..i don't know if you are in one or not. But it will help alot. I also hope you find some support here. Please do take care of yourself, take the time to nurture you, get away ...go to a gym, do the things that will keep nurting you.

Miranda