I am going through an extremely nasty divorce, but I guess we all are or have in the past. There really are no nice divorces. I have lived with my not-soon-enough-ex-hisband in Houston for 6 years. I have two girls, 1 and 2. I say I because he is a POS and has just recenly wanted anything to do with his children. My girls and I moved back to my hometown of Lake Charles, Louisiana when we left. In the course of 5 months, he has harassed me beyond belief, disowned his daughters, then thinks he is the father of the year because he had them for a weekend. Nevermind the fact that in 5 months, he has not paid one cent of court ordered child support. It's coming though, Texas doesn't play around with that, for too long anyway... I am starting all over with practically nothing, because that is what I left with;except my beautiful girls. I have had a lot of trouble adjusting to being newly single, almost, and find myself wondering what is wrong with me. What did I do that was so bad for him to act and treat me the way he did. I am starting to finally realize that it was not me, but him. It is still hard though, but I came up with a daily motivational reminder for myself. I will repeat it each and everyday until I believe it. All but the very 1st one, that has always been the case.

I will live for my children first and foremost.
I will not be a doormat any longer.
I will not be a beggar but a chooser.
I will not be a follower but a leader.
I will stand up for myself.
I do not need anyone but myself.
Those who cannot accept me don’t deserve me.
I will not sweat the small stuff.
I will choose my own battles.
I do not need acceptance from anyone.
I do not need to live in the past but move on to the future.
I will stop blaming myself for everything.

I will be the person I once was, only better.
I will be me, nothing less – nothing more!!

I wanted to share this with you because in the course of my marriage, I lost any recognisable part of myself. I was beaten down so badly that I had alienated myself from my family all together because they hated him because they saw him for what he really was, someone who did not deserve me or my love.

I guess I am still in the anger stage... trying to move on but his constant harassment makes it difficult. I finally learned to just hang up the phone. DUH!!

Now I am trying to heal myself and my children and move on to the future. There's no use living in the past when there are so many possibilities out there even though many times those possibilities seem so bleak.

Hi there! It's a great message! You sound super strong and courageous. I think you've started on the right track! I'm pretty new to SFV also, but it's one of the friendliest sites I've been a member of!

Awesome words to live by!!!!

Divorce is never fun. It's very easy to loose yourself and remember your best qualities. Endings bring new beginings.

quote:

I guess I am still in the anger stage... trying to move on but his constant harassment makes it difficult. I finally learned to just hang up the phone. DUH!!

I also did this many times and refused to pick up. He became so worried he thought I was dead. I ues Vonage so it will automatically log and record all of his phone calls and messages. I never give him my cell number.

Welcome Tiffany! I can relate to so much of what you wrote. Rock on, Girl!