I'm a single parent of four, 3 girls ages 18, 15 & 14, divorced from their father who I'd been with since high school, (a story which in itself would require a whole new thread), and a 5 year old son diagnosed with autism at age 2 and a half, who's father has'nt seen him since he was 1 and thus isn't even aware of the special needs, (also another story in need of it's own thread).
Up until now I haven't taken advantage of any support groups regarding my son's autism, as I've always been the kind of person to try and "handle" things on my own, but now feel like maybe it's time to do this.
My son is now in kindergarten in a special ed class with 6 other autistic children and is doing pretty well, labled as "high-functioning"
by his teachers, which sometimes seems pretty accurate and other times a gross overstatement. He's always been very affectionate but has had his share of wild tantrums, and now just recently began hitting for the first time after witnessing this in his class- as told by his teacher. It's beyond difficult to see your relatively sweet-natured little boy transform in this way after he'd been doing so well, and I wanted to ask how other parents have dealt with or are dealing with this now. There are days when my son seems on the brink of almost allowing me to "forget" he has autism if only for one minute, like when he comes and asks, "Want hug?" or cooperatively goes to sleep with a smile, and then reverts back with a vengeance strong enough to make up for all the good moments. He's a tall boy for his age as his dad was 6'3", and I sometimes feel a little horrified thinking about what my future holds once my son grows too big to handle. The stress of knowing his behavior can worsen once he reaches puberty makes me want to run and hide. I love my son as much as I'm challenged by him, (endlessly), but am growing more depressed realizing what my realities may be. Just wanted to know how other parents have coped with these things- any advice and related experiences will definately be appreciated. Also, anyone else experiencing the mounds of guilt that comes from seeing your other "typical" children trying to deal with their sibling's condition? This one is especially tough for me.

Wow this is a tough one. As a parent my heart goes out to you dealing with such a difficult thought. I don't have much advice for you I'm sorry. but I hope that someone on here can offer you some advice or some suggestions. I know it's not much of a help to what you are dealing with but one thought did enter my mind when you said he goes back and forth with his behavior/personality. Do you give him fish oil supplements? It may be something to consider. I know a lot of kids that have ADHD/impulse control problems and autism the doctors strongly recommend it. I am sorry this is all I have to offer to you but I hope someone on here can be more help than I have been. (((((HUGS))))

Well...although we can not give you any suggestion,you would feel better after speaking out.

Lovemy4,

You are a family... no matter what conditions your child may be diagnosis with. Together, you all have the opportunity to build bridges and embrace life.

I think it is awesome you have him in a classroom for teachers who are trained dealing with children who have autism. There are so many areas out there who do not have the resources. I have recently studied children with autism and was lucky enough to observe behavioral therapy first hand, and it is amazing how a high-functioning child can progress towards being included in a regular ed classroom.

Are you able to seek therapy where you and your son work together with particular issues? Maybe your older children can get involved also.

quote:

Also, anyone else experiencing the mounds of guilt that comes from seeing your other "typical" children trying to deal with their sibling's condition?

To some degree, my youngest has to deal with my oldest quirks. I have never offically had him looked at for autism though, it was suggested in the past. He is hypersensitive to light and sound while he holds an IQ over 150. Teachers have guessed he may be ADHD and to top it all off, he has a hard time cleaning up spilled water.... Impulsive at times, short tempered, sometimes physically hurtful (doesn't know his own strength) then the next minute he is the most loving and compassionate person Though, the bottom line is my youngest loves his brother and has learned to give his brother cues on when to stop playing to roughly and cues on arguments getting too heated.

Your children have a bigger gap between them and I would imagine just the age difference would make bonding a bit difficult since they are at different benchmarks in their life. Nonetheless, I would push the "family" values with all of them. You don't walk out or turn your back on family... that is what I do for my boys because when I'm gone, they will have each other to lean on.

Want to thank everyone for replying, this was my first time posting and I felt welcomed and supported. Thanks for all the great advice, it makes me wonder why I waited so long to seek out other caring parents. Great to feel involved and understood.

Wanted to answer: on the fish oil supplements- I'd talked to a couple of doctors about the GFCF diet along with different supplements I'd read about and had my first experience being looked at as one of "those" moms- still in denial and willing to try magical spells. They told me they would prescribe vitamins and/or supplements if he was shown to be deficient but other than that did not need to go through a radical diet plan that might do more harm than good. I've since learned I have to find a "GFCF doctor" -that these are the ones who will give you what you need so will probably go through Regional Center (our home base for diagnoses and therapy treatments) to point me in the right direction,
including maybe finding therapy for myself and my girls, as someone had suggested. And as far as my daughters having bonded with their brother it's true that they're at different stages being much older, but I think they did pretty well with bonding with him when he was born and because of this it probably made it SLIGHTLY easier to go through the transitions we all went through once he started showing signs. Though I see the stress and sometimes near-breaking point in their faces and even their behavior towards him when he's at his worst, I've noticed each one seems to have developed their own special relationship with him. Oldest loves singing, dancing and working out and has been able to get closer to her brother since he loves these things too. Middle daughter has always been more of the caretaker- likes sitting in on the bubble baths and dressing him to go outside or to the store, fixes broken toys and finds lost cds and things, and youngest daughter is the "comforter." The one he's learned to run to when he's in trouble and feels he isn't getting fair justice with anyone else because he knows his tears get to her the most. I think their stress hits hardest when they're reminded of the severity of his down times, and I see the exhaustion and frustration over the repetitivness- especially with discipline- since with a child with autism you don't necessarily get to instill something and move on. You may go back to this and over this more times than you can count. But thanks again for your kind and helpful input. Support like this will be a great key in making it through all this.

Hi, I also have a son who is going through autism evaluations right now. I also have been considering the GFCF diet for my son . Let me know if you have any success finding a doctor who will help with it. And I wish you the best of luck. I know that having a child with autism can be challenging but it can also be wonderful at times. I'm here if you ever need to talk.

Thanks, and the same goes here You're absolutely right about having wonderful times too. I'd fill up multiple pages talking about all the times he makes us laugh, sit in awe, be proud, and just plain love him all the more. And that's what I draw on when we're going through the rough patches. I think if I can learn to keep my balance and perspective I can eventually beat the depression. Look forward to talking with you more.

My little man has autism and I did the GFCF diet with him, it was really expensive to be totally strict with it, so I have him casein free, and I try as much as I can to cut out gluten. I noticed a big change in Jeramiah, his language improved and his constipation improved a ton, he doesn't have any problems anymore. My Dr. also looked at me like one of "those moms" I had him tested and they all came back fine so she wanted that to be the end of it, but I did my own research. One of the books I got was "The kid Friendly ADHD and Autism Cookbook"
and I love it! The first part of the book explains the diet and how it works and also about how to do it. (You have to wean them off gluten) It was a huge help, I also liked the Jenny McCarthy book, louder than words. She talks alot about the diet. I have also looked into a DAN!(Defeat Autism Now!) Dr. If you google them you should be able to get a list of any that might be on your area. I decided after one visit not to go back though because they are VERY focused on all the different treatments and some were kinda out there. I am just looking to get my son healthy and feeling good again! Feel free to PM me if you ever wanna chat!! And

The pictures of your son are great. I'm still trying to learn how to do this- lol. I also read the Jenny Mc Carthy book and "A Real Boy" by Christina Adams but have never heard of an autism cookbook- I'll definately get that next, thanks. I've been wary of trying the diet but after reading so much about the positive results I feel almost 'irresponsible' (maybe not the right word, but I think you get my meaning)for not giving it a try. The expense will also have to be worked out but thanks for the info. Will be making a trip to Borders tomorrow.

4Strong,

that is very interesting. I few friends at work were talking about being allergic to wheat and found their children were as well. I wonder if it is the same thing.

I think I may be joining lovemy4 at Borders

I know it's a relatively new book, I had to order it. But it was deffinately worth the wait I really like it! Let me know what you guys think!

I finally got the book last night, ADHD & Autism Cookbook and it looks really interesting, will read through it tonight. Wanted to ask 4strong (or anyone else who also did the diet) how long it took you to see notable changes- ex:the language improvement- and how "bad" it got during the process. Have had a REALLY rough past few weeks with my son since the hitting started and finally had to order more home behavioral therapy again cause it's not getting any better and on some nights is plain unbearable. I'm wondering if I can handle starting the diet now at the same time that we're tackling this issue, and am hoping maybe you can give me a heads-up on what to expect. Also, when you (4strong) mentioned your son doesn't have any problems anymore, where you speaking about his language and constipation, or that his behavior problems are actually gone now? Cause this would be unbelievable for me!

Miah was a nightmare for about the first 2 weeks. I give him some gluten but I cut way back, and I cut out casein completely. He doesn't do well with change AT ALL, And I was changing things on him, which was a lot of the problem. But I do remember him clinging to milk carton and having a huge melt down, so I know he was withdrawing from the dairy. If your son is like Jeramiah and likes his routine, I wouldn't start the diet when there is another change going on. It would just make it harder for him and you!

I noticed a change after the first couple of weeks after everything kinda evened out, it was gradual at first but now I can really tell. His attitude improved, (because he feels better) speech improved slightly, and his constipation is totaly gone (PRAISE GOD). I know with kids with autism that their behavior a lot of times reflects how they feel physically because they don't know how to express it properly, so I think Miah's behavior is better because he feels better.

But he also cycles a lot, he will have a really hard time for a month, (not sleeping, cooperating and more sensory sensitivities) and then the next month he will be an angel...autism is so confusing sometimes, it's really hit and miss!

Hope that helps!

Rats... I had forgotten about the book. I need to look into this. Ok, this weekend I am definitely going to get my hands on this book and begin reading.