This was a question that has been asked to me several times, and I honestly dont have the answer yet LOL

If you were to choose between a person you are compatible with but do not love, and a person you love, but are not compatible with, who would you choose?

Some say love, for obvious reasons. But then, those who think they are in love actually fall out when they are faced with the hard reality that they are actually incompatible.

On the other hand, compatibility has more chances of working... a lot of arranged marriages work because the family knows who is compatible with their children. Love just develops afterwards.

But in this world when we are free to choose who we want to be with... love always wins right?

Anyway, how about you guys? What do you think?

Question:
Would you choose an incompatible partner that you love? Or your perfect match that you do not love?

Choices:
Love
Compatibility

 

My husband and I were the classic opposites attract. There were manytimes we simply agreed to disagree. WE loved each other whole heartedly and loved the differences about each other. As long as you don't expect the other person to change I think love is the most important factor in a marriage. There are many things you can "work on" but if you simply dont love someone thats pretty much it.

Without Love you have no reason to stay together. So your fights would go on without a reason to salvage anything.
Love is kind, love is patient, it does not boast, it does not envy, it is not proud.

If it is a mutual love- then I would choose love. I never heard a country song that said "searching for compatability in all the wrong places".

Wait, I might take compatability if he was a millionaire**looking at my overdrawn checkbook** Yeah, maybe compatability could be better!

It's hard to love someone if you are not compatible. Even people who disagree sometimes are probably compatible in other ways uh...I didn't mean that the way it came out. My girlfriend and I fell in love because we liked to do the same things and we thought alike.

LOVE!!!

dear God, forgive the jaded-ness in my answer... I selected compatability because it would hurt less to lose the person. love hurts.

In a lasting relationship, it is my understanding that love makes you compatible...go ahead and ponder it for a minute...When you are in love, and I don't mean the oh my god I love your shirt kind of love, you strive to make the other happy and calm all their fears. By doing so, we change...Through compromise and working together we become compatible with each other...

So to answer your question, I would have to say true love...Compatibility just isn't where it's at...If it was, E-Harmony would be the best thing since sliced bread....

Honestly, you need a combination of love and compatibility to make a relationship work, without both, you're sunk. I know NJ referred to the "opposites attract" and they do, but as she said they "agreed to disagree" which shows that even while they were total opposites, they were also compatible in their ability to disagree and move on...Do you see what I am getting at here??

I guess I really don't understand a core concept here. If I found someone that was my perfect match... how in the world would it not lead to love?

I think compatibility is a huge requirement for me at this point. I have been in far too many relationships where I loved the person whole heartedly only to have the incompatibilities just destroy the relationship. Well ok... the incompatibilities for one of them was sanity (me) vs. insanity (her)... but still. More like matter vs. anti-matter and the resultant massive explosion and devastation with that one. Amazing that such a beautiful little life came out of it though...


Love is as much a choice as it is an emotion. And it is so much easier to make that choice and connect with that emotion when you like the person and how they mesh with you. I have had more than enough jagged edges and porcupine hugs tearing things apart in my recent relationships. So much energy wasted on making simple decisions. Hours lost in arguments over how to drive a freaking car. Friends and family avoided or shut out because the other person can't come to decent terms with them. Why agree when there is so much to disagree about?! Ridiculous. Absolutely asinine.


That and... No more being a pet project for insecure women thank you. It's not their fault though, I sought them out thinking there was something wrong with who I was and I saw that they had something different that I perhaps needed.

Thank God I realize that now. Such a fool some times.

At this point, I am firmly planted in the "you can kiss my ***" category if you demand that I change something about me. That being said... love me and and respect me and I will move mountains to make things right.

Come to think of it. That love style test said I am Agape. Love is a deep deep friendship at the core of it for me. Maybe that's why I struggle with the questions. Maybe some day I will find the answer...

quote:

At this point, I am firmly planted in the "you can kiss my ***" category

does knight knight need a hug hug?

quote:

Originally posted by AKnightInTheMaking:

awwww.... ok two hugs then?

quote:

At this point, I am firmly planted in the "you can kiss my ***" category if you demand that I change something about me. That being said... love me and and respect me and I will move mountains to make things right.

Come to think of it. That love style test said I am Agape. Love is a deep deep friendship at the core of it for me. Maybe that's why I struggle with the questions. Maybe some day I will find the answer...

You stick to your guns Knight!! You have deffinately earned your way to feeling that!! But look at you...there is still such hope in your heart too!! I have no doubt you'll find your answers...I think Sophie has been one already!! Keep the FAITH!!

the votes are 50/50 funny enough ! and that is exactly what you need: BOTH
sorry, I guess this is no help.