The Cardiologist

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart
covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.

Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The
heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared
at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own
funeral...I'm a gynecologist."

That's when the proctologist fainted

Angie,
I just don't know what to say.

that gave me a real laugh! thanks

that WAS funny!

You're hilarious. Point for Angie.

Does this sound familar Ladies:

On a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn't miss them until after they had been driving about twenty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses. All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complain and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up for one minute.
To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. And as the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her .

"While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and credit card.."

You might like this one from our Prime Minister


TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
FROM: THE PRIME MINISTER
RE: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained
through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We
are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job,
please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of
the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing
that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take
D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE
TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they
were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full
of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training
others.
We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.
S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T.
jobs, and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING
(D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

Wow ...that sounds all to familiar!!

Ok ..I needed those!