I'm sitting here crying over a man who says he loves me but can't be with me and I know you guys have all pointed out...in great detail that this man is a complete idiot so why does he have the ability to make me feel like ****. Seriously, I've met a great guy who is sweet and funny and this other guy in one day makes me feel like I've done something wrong by meeting someone. Hello this was your idea not mine. Maybe I'm too kind hearted and I should just tell him to go **** himself. I'd just gotten to the point where I was starting to feel good about myself again and then wham he hits me right upside the head with the same ****. Oh it started innocently enough, how are you, how are the kids, yada yada yada. Then wham why are you dating someone and so on and so forth. Good grief man. Can a girl never get a break. If I said what I really wanted to say my Grandma would roll over in her grave. Although to he** with it and the he** with him. I just need to cut him completely out of my life and let me broken heart heal. If I didn't have you guys to vent to I'd probably have gone off the deep end by now.

It is very important to heal first, or you bring all that emotion into the next relationship. You can find yourself compairing the new relationship with the old one, and clingy doesn't sound like what you need anyway.

You are such a beautiful & incredible Woman...You need to believe that inside yourself & not let this man bring you down! You have every right to move on with your life especially when "it wasn't your idea"!! If you have started to date someone that is sweet & funny & makes you feel good about yourself...then that is what you need...let yourself go with it & enjoy it! But be careful you don't depend on this new man to give you EVERYTHING you need to feel happy...that needs to come from inside so that this other jerk (or anyone else) can't bring you down with their cra%!! STAY strong & try to see all the wonderful things in yourself that EVERYONE HERE sees in you!!!

If you can, don't have anymore than the most perfunctory of conversations with the ex. Sounds like he's just looking for opening to hurt/control you. The minute the conversation tends torwards the personal, cut the son of a bitch off.

quote:

If I said what I really wanted to say my Grandma would roll over in her grave

I say let Rock & Roll grandma........tell him like is is.....

Hey lady
You need to remember this and repeat it to your Ex everytime he ask about who you are seeing.

"I am not at liberty to talk about this at this time"

because it's none of his F*&^ing bees wax.

Dawg

quote:

Maybe I'm too kind hearted and I should just tell him to go **** himself.

Ding Ding.....we have a winner......

He is playing a guilt trip on you because he knows that a part of you still loves him. He cares that you are seeing someone else because he still wants you to "want" him. Parker's dad played these games with me too. It made me feel like **** because a part of me still loved him and didn't want him to be hurt. Then one day I realized that he was not hurt he just realized that he was losing his "option". If he gave me some hope that we would be back together than he could keep me hanging on just in case he could not find anything better. Don't let him make you feel like ****.
I read this great line in a book a couple of days ago and it stuck in my head...
Eleanor Roosevelt once said "No one can make you feel inferior with out your consent"

M3B,

Binarian makes perfect sense. I don't talk to mine except by email. It's quick and to the point. He constantly tries to find out personal things and wants to be friends.

There are some divorced parents who can be friends with respect for boundaries. My EX and I cannot. When you were betrayed you are not obliged to honor your vows. If it's hurtful to him... he did it to himself.

I think it's great that you have met someone and are moving on. Don't you let him get to you and let him steal your joy!

The next time he politely starts asking you anything, just change the subject.. I'm not familiar with your history - so I dont know if you have any ties to him, children etc.. That always makes it hard.

I agree with Tessmit. My ex got so crazy out of control jealous that I wound up having to get a restraining order. I used to try to listen to him and talk to him because I thought it would ease his mind, but the situation got way out of control, and now I refuse to talk to him and I only email him. I even had to change my cell because the texts got crazy out of control too. If either party still has feelings, then being "friends" right now wont' really work well. You're better off discussing the kids only through emails.