OK, so I believe I am ready to date again. I have come to terms with the fact that despite that I think I can live alone, in reality I don't want to. I can and I will survive but I miss having someone to cuddle, share time with and basically have a companion. I want to meet someone that will just light a fire inside my heart and never let it go out. I realize this seems kind of silly but I am a romantic and therefore there is not hope for me.

So my question is, are there any steps I should take in starting to date?? I am fairly shy so I realize that this whole thing will start out pretty slow. And as far as paying for those dating sites, I am a single parent therefore very little extra money. Any help anyone has will be very much appreciated. :loverain:

Hi smshybug,

I think there are a lot of different posts on the board about this topic.

I think being friends first is a good way to start - for a single parent. I have dated some, since my divorce, and it can be very tricky.

Take it slow, don't get your hopes up - and let things happen on their own.

I'm a hopeless romantic myself, but from experience I can tell you - Mr Right isn't always easy to find.

Good luck!

I don't think there is anything silly about it. I think we all feel the same way it's human nature, but we don't always like to admit it. I really think that the best relationships come when you aren't actively looking for them. I would take the attitude you'd like to date and just have that sitting in the back of your mind. Start dressing up just a bit more than usually. Wear a bit of make up. Start looking fellows in the eye and smiling. Even if it's only for a second just to get used to the feeling. Smiling is the most important, then you seem approachable and friendly. I use to be sooooooooooooooo shy, it took a very special person to get me out of my shell. Now people are just trying to figure out a way to stuff me back in.

What worked best for me was to go into chatrooms and strike up conversations with guys, actually you don't even have to be the one to begin, once they know your a female believe me they will come to you. You have the security of being home but you get used to talking to them. Eventually you find it easier when facing them as well.

You'll be sure to fall of the saddle a couple of times but hop right back on. Eventually you'll turn into an awful flirt like me.

Good luck.

I have been seperated from my husband for 4 months and my divorce was final on Tuesday. YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I started dating 6 weeks ago. My first few dates with this guy were fun, but the emotions that came with it were crazy. I seriously felt insane for a short while. Now that I have been out with a few other men, I am much more relaxed. I am still looking for that special someone, but in the mean time, I'll go out and have a good time. You are in a very vunerable position. Be careful who you go out with. Make sure you meet in a public place if you don't know them that well. Before my divorce, I was so isolated with very few friends. I have exploded in the last two months. I now have many close girlfriends and I am dating regularly with some very nice and decent men. I am picky, but I put myself out there. Confidence attracts men more than anything. That is something I had to learn real fast. Before I left my husband, I had 0 confidence. I lost 40 pounds, got new clothes, new make-up, and got my hair done. I don't have much money at all thanks to my X, but to be a good mom, you need to also focus on yourself. I met one guy I'm dating from a friend. One guy from my sister's husband. Another on I looked up an old friend from high school. (By the way this is the one I got a little cray over. Thankfully, we still see each other. He is so cute!) Good luck, you will be great. Let us know how it goes.

I sounded sooooo negative up there... sheesh. Don't listen to me ... I'm going thru the sad & lonely phase ... it hits me once a month, and lasts a few days, IF you know what I mean. :badday:

I'm sure you will do very well at the dating thing!!

:cupid: :date:

I am going to be obtaining a few bit of confidence hopefully here soon. I am currently attempting to lose some weight so that I can be in shape for when I visit my sister in Tennessee. She lives in an army base and there are lots of guys there that she has been telling "my sister is single and she's a great person, etc." So, I have some expectations to live up to I guess. But I have to be in some sort of shape considering she will probably drag me to PT with her and I had better at least have some idea of what I'm doing. A military guy wouldn't be so bad.

smshybug, be careful of military men. I was married to one for 4 years (now Im divorced, thank goodness). They are alot of fun to hang out with, but they have a whole different mentality. Im sure there are a few good ones out there, but from my experience I just want to tell you to be careful.

I just love a guy in uniform so I know what you mean but they do have a very different mentality as Erin said. Sometimes for good and sometimes not. Being the significant other of someone in the military is very difficult, just as a police officer or fire fighter, but it is a title that I have the most respect for. I have a tremendous respect for anyone who is willing to sacrifice themselves for someone elses welfare and to know that have someone good and supportive at home is a good feeling.

I think of these poor boys over seas and it breaks my heart, the ladies too. So many more of them now have young families too, or just never get the chance. OK getting all teary again. Just next time you see someone in uniform tell them thank you and watch how they light up, it makes a world of difference to them.

hey, i was a military man for 11 years. my only advice would be don't try to be what you think other people want, be yourself. thats what most of us guys really want, at least I do.

very true Wyatt... tho, no luck for me... if I look, I don't find.. if I don't look - they don't find me .. lol .. but it's all good. I just keep being myself and see what happens.

quote:

I think of these poor boys over seas and it breaks my heart, the ladies too. So many more of them now have young families too, or just never get the chance. OK getting all teary again. Just next time you see someone in uniform tell them thank you and watch how they light up, it makes a world of difference to them.

That is awesome, scoutmom... and I totally agree!

quote:

Originally posted by Wyatt:
[qb] my only advice would be don't try to be what you think other people want, be yourself. [/qb]

Definitely

THANK YOU WYATT! :huggies: What branch? The only representation we have missing in the family is the Air Force, but my son is only eight so who knows. Except he pretty much has decided the Marines like his Pappys (grandpas).

My sister loves the Army and she has lots of "friends" that she says would love someone like me. I'm just excited to take a vacation and maybe meet some new people. If I find someone who is interested, then that's just a bonus.

I have really high standards too. I have a friend who suggested that I make a list of my wants and then another list of my needs. I am going to do that today. I'll let you know how it turns out.

I was in the Marines for 11 years. I spent most of my time in Ca. some in North Carolina and six months in Japan. Thats why I made the comment aobut being yourself. Military guys are something special, but dont try to go out of your way to atract them, because you can still end up with someone who will use you. being yourself will atract someone that will think you are something special also. attitude is what I look for first in a woman. sometimes IT IS, whats on the inside.