Many of you know my story about the person I meet on Eharmony. Brief recap is we were talking, e-mailing, texting back and forth for about 1 month and then all of a sudden this all stopped with no reason and it was like she dropped off the face of the earth.

Guess what? She all of a sudden e-mailed me yesterday explaining everything, she said she was so sorry, and said she thought about me every day. Her grandmother passed away and she found out her mom has cervical cancer. She said she had to deal with all of this and could not meet me in a crying/emotional state. She now realizes that she should have told me everything, that way I could help her through all of it.

We are going to meet for the first time face/face this coming Friday. How should I go about this? I was hurt when she never called me back and don't want to get burned again. One thing is I respect her for finally telling me what happened.

Friends any help would be greatly appreciated.

Go and meet her ! Be honest and let her now how it made you feel when the communication stopped, but give her the 2nd chance. Trust your gut, you should get a much better feel on things meeting face to face. Good luck & let us know how it goes (you know that whole living vicariously thing) !

first of all tim - yaay you stud

ok, i'd cut her some slack. we all deal with stress and loss differently. i'd tell you were sorry for what she has been dealing with and that you were worried about her. but i wouldnt guilt her in to feeling badly about not calling you. you hadnt met yet. i wouldnt want my first date to be a wake or funeral - or even a hospital to see twins of a stranger - lol erin!

perhaps something like you wished you had met her before all this so you could have been there for her...

have fun fly boy - let us know how it goes!

quote:

Originally posted by tripfour:
Trust your gut, you should get a much better feel on things meeting face to face.

Yeah, do that. I have to admit I'm a bit skeptical about the whole "death in the family" thing. But hey, if true it's certainly a good reason. Really, I DO hope it goes well. We should all have someone who cares about us that isn't related, and therefore hardwired to do so. Fly into her heart, zoomie.

I say go for it..... see how you guys enjoy the day.

I have a problem of putting on my "everything is perfect" face whenever I meet anyone I haven't trusted yet. I wouldn't disclose something that is bothering me so if her story is true, I can understand where she's coming from.

You're a great catch Tim.... she's lucky you're on her fishing line.

Everyone here is just so smart and gives such good advice!

I agree with all: Meet her. Express your hurt. Keep yourself aware for any repeats of this behaviour. Hopefully, it was just a one-time thing since you didn't know each other well enough.

I'm curious, though. During the time she was missing, were you trying to contact her at all? Did you email or call? Did she completely ignore all attempts? That's a little strange, if that's the case. If it were me, I would have at least emailed something like, "I'm having family stress right now - I'll be in touch next month."

I dunno. But definitely. Definitely, keep us in the loop!

quote:

Originally posted by captmatrix:
I'm curious, though. During the time she was missing, were you trying to contact her at all? Did you email or call? Did she completely ignore all attempts? That's a little strange, if that's the case. If it were me, I would have at least emailed something like, "I'm having family stress right now - I'll be in touch next month."

I dunno. But definitely. Definitely, keep us in the loop!

After the second day of not hearing from her I did call, left a message, e-mailed once, and texted her once. After that I figured she went on with her life, she never once sent me anything or called, 2 days ago was the first time I heard from her in almost 2 months now. We will see what happens, I'm still kinda worried about it.

quote:

Originally posted by Tessmit:
I say go for it..... see how you guys enjoy the day.

I have a problem of putting on my "everything is perfect" face whenever I meet anyone I haven't trusted yet. I wouldn't disclose something that is bothering me so if her story is true, I can understand where she's coming from.

You're a great catch Tim.... she's lucky you're on her fishing line.

Thanks....I don't know about a "great catch". I understand what your saying tess and I agree, she really did not know me that well yet, so it was her right to keep me out of her family issues. But like Capt said, she could have at least e-mailed/texted saying something.

My advice Tim is just to go in without expectations. Don't expect things to "pick up where they left off". Get to know her again. The situation sounds a bit off to me, but she can only hurt you if you let her. Don't hand her your heart and a cutco knife.

quote:

Originally posted by AFMEDIC:

After the second day of not hearing from her I did call, left a message, e-mailed once, and texted her once. After that I figured she went on with her life, she never once sent me anything or called, 2 days ago was the first time I heard from her in almost 2 months now. We will see what happens, I'm still kinda worried about it.

I think it's absolutely fair for you to be a little worried about it. It's just one of those little "red flags" that you watch for. You're smart. Don't let it ruin a chance to get to know her better, but don't just ignore it, either.

I don't know if I can wait until Friday for your date! You'll be posting Friday evening when you get home, right?

Tim - I don't see anything wrong with giving her a second chance at this point..IF you feel she's being true to you (only you would really know this). I would hate to see you get hurt..well..because I think very highly of you. If only you were closer j/k.

Ok, I have to say red flags were flying when I read this. but, maybe that is because I have been through so many lies and manipulations with this whole dating thing that I am a little biased.
This is my two cents worth...I do not know you or Paul or Blayke or any of the other men and women on this site except through postings and chat..but if something like that happened to me I would be posting you all and saying something like I have some major life occurances going on right now and need some time to deal with them.
It only takes two minutes to drop a note.

That being said I would look at it like she was not in the right place to be starting a relationship with me at that time, but now for whatever reason, she is ready. Everyone deserves a second chance and after meeting her face to face you will have a better feel for what kind of person she is.

Have fun and don't wear your uniform us ladies would like to think we are the only ones special enough to be privy to that luxury!! LOL

I think most of the comments you received on this already were to the point. Just guard yourself and go in without expectations. I do think the situation is strange but then again, I am with capt, I let my friends know if I'm gonna be indisposed for a while so they dont worry and know that I haven't jumped off anything

I think you should have fun, let thing happen as they may. Be yourself!

And you are a great catch! Dont start thinking otherwise.

quote:

so they dont worry and know that I haven't jumped off anything

like we'd think that . Oh wait, on second thought ..

LMAO Thanks for the confidence Paul.