I got this idea from My 3 boys' thread about her friend and I was curious to know what everyone thought about open relationships?

Would you date someone in an open relationship?

That's simple....nooooooooooooooooooooooooo

No.

No way, I want her to be 100% into me. Plus I think its kinds dirty if your having *** with 2 different people, no matter if you know there clean or not.

yes it is dirty....but also with the strong morals and values people SHOULD have, it's wrong. i mean "open relationship" isn't that an oxy moron????? lol

quote:

Originally posted by AFMEDIC:
if your having *** with 2 different people,

Ok, what if you weren't the one with the two partners, but your significant other did. Would that make a difference?

Open relationships isn't about sleeping around with different people. It's about forming a meaningful relationship with more than one partner. As a couple you could decide how many partners are allowed in .. kind of like polyamory, I suppose.

I guess I'm too selfish...

I can't share.

I suppose it could work under the right conditions but I don't like the idea of sharing my coffee with anyone. Look at it this way. Say you are walking down the street with a delicious bowl of oatmeal but you don't have a utensil to eat it with. You see a shiny spoon lying on the ground and decide to pick it up and take a bite. Do you know where that spoon has been and what kinds of germs are on it? I don't think so. Too risky imo. Although, I've learned to never say never.

quote:

yes it is dirty....but also with the strong morals and values people SHOULD have, it's wrong. i mean "open relationship" isn't that an oxy moron????? lol

On the contrary, I have a couple of friends who have been married for 15 years and they've had an open relationship for about 10 of them. They are completely compatible in every other way aside from the bedroom and their relationship works very well for them. They just realized after a lot of fighting and a lot of tension that that part of their relationship was just not working out. They're raising a wonderful daughter, are very active in their community and are 2 of the most loving and supportive people I know.

I actually find it pretty insulting that anybody would presume to judge somebody like these 2 people for what goes on behind closed doors between consenting adults. Will that kind of relationship work for most people? Absolutely not but for those that do, it doesn't make them any less moral or have any less "family values" from the next person. People who are able to maintain these kinds of relationships rarely, if ever get divorced (and even more rarely have what's considered an actual affair) so their children are being raised by both parents in a strong and loving home. Isn't that what "family values" are all about?

Could I have a relationship such as this? I have no idea nor do I think it'll ever be an issue.


And BTW you're more likely to contract an STD from an unfaithful partner if you DON'T know where they've been. Most people who swing in any way, shape or form are very careful to protect their own bodies thereby protecting their partner as well. I've been to swinger's clubs before and had open physical relationships and have never contracted anything. So am I sick and dirty? Morally bankrupt? Nice to know what some people think of me.

quote:

Originally posted by rwe1dad:
Say you are walking down the street with a delicious bowl of oatmeal but you don't have a utensil to eat it with. You see a shiny spoon lying on the ground and decide to pick it up and take a bite. Do you know where that spoon has been and what kinds of germs are on it?

Well there's a definite risk in dating but don't we all take that risk to a certain level? If we didn't, we'd all be single. Picking up a spoon and taking a bite gives the impression that one would sleep with a stranger right off the street on some whim. Maybe open relationships give off that impression but I doubt that's how they really work. One would have to be particularly careful to not infect themselves AND their current parnter.

quote:

Originally posted by BASICALLYAMY:
So am I sick and dirty? Morally bankrupt? Nice to know what some people think of me.

I don't think anyone thinks that of you personally. With any topic, there's going to be people who agree and disagree. Some may speak out of ignorance while others speak out of experience.

Just out of curiosity, how many people here were in an open relationship and didn't know it? And those of you that were, did you go to a doctor and get tests immediately? When I'm sexually active, I get tested every 6 months for the works, whether I feel I need it or not. Its my MORAL responsibility to protect myself and any further partners I may have.

During my pregnancy and shortly thereafter, I suspected my ex was having an affair(s) but I'd hardly call that an 'open relationship'. Open means both partners are aware of eachother's partners. Infidelity is the opposite of that, isn't it?

LOL I meant the open relationship part of that comment to be dripping with sarcasm. I'm refering to those of us who have been burned by an affair.

To me, relationship and monogomy go hand in hand. It makes no sense morally or spiritually to be ok with being ok having your s.o. have a relationship with someone else and vice versa. It's like polygamy without the marriagem of several partners.