I stumbled upon this forum by accident and thought I would ask you all something.

I am a 31 year old single with a mild case of Asperger's syndrome. I'm still a virgin and haven't had a girlfriend yet. I'm one of those nice, shy guys who they say finishes last. There's nothing wrong with me physically--I'm just not a bar/nightclub type of person, but rather the more intellectual, analytic type. I spent most of my college days studying and then after I graduated kind of got perplexed and turned off by what was going on with the excessive shallowness, materialism, and highly competitive nature in the dating world at least among people under 30. I think because of my Asperger's, I seemed to be on a higher level and acted older than my age, which probably comes across as aloof. I felt a little subconscious about myself in my 20's about being behind with women and fearing their reaction. It just seemed like the cool vs not cool thing kind of extends now into your 20s. After turning 30, it seems like the shallowness, tritenss and being snobby has subsided a bit and people my age and older are a bit more accepting, less judgemental, friendlier and more mature about things. They seem to be easier to open up and I feel that they wouldn't laugh about me being a virgin.

For some reason, it seems like lately a lot of single moms 30-40yrs old smile at me, which makes me blush and turn a little shy because it makes my day and I don't know what to say to them. Why are they smiling at the store for example? I've been the type that's attracted to the complete package, so I think a woman that's capable, responsible, has a good caring personality and who's kinda cute outweighs the eye candy type. It's refreshing to meet someone and be yourself and not have to put on airs. There seems to be a lot of bashing of single moms on other message boards. As an independent critical thinker, I think it's unfair look down on single moms. Yes, some have made bad decisions but one must look at the whole scenario. I often think that single moms don't get enough respect and praise from society because they have a difficult job to raise a child/children without any assistance.

What would most single moms think of a guy like me and do you think they would entertain the thought of being friends with or going out with a guy like me, who's behind with dating and ***?

Wow...I have never seen a post like this before...

I'm a 32yo single father of a 13yo boy. My son and I are both high functioning autistics. It sounds like I may have handled the situation a little better than you, as I've dated and had ***, but then again it resulted in me being a single father so who knows.

If I have advice for you, it's that women don't care if you can put together an airtight case as to why you're good for them. The only thing they care about, is if you make them feel good when they are around you. I don't think that single moms are any different from regular women as pretty much all of them are regular women (who happen to share a common circumstance).

Good luck.

Later,
Bobby

quote:

What would most single moms think of a guy like me and do you think they would entertain the thought of being friends with or going out with a guy like me, who's behind with dating and ***?

so many places i would like to go with your post.... but i will step back and clarify first - since you are not a single parent, is the purpose of your post on this forum to find someone to take your virginity?

.......just hanging out, waiting to see what develops......

quote:

so many places i would like to go with your post.... but i will step back and clarify first - since you are not a single parent, is the purpose of your post on this forum to find someone to take your virginity?

Response:

No it's not. The purpose is to gather enlightening perspectives, such as that from user Bobby who responded before you.

ok, well my enlightening perspective would be speaking on my own behalf only and not on behalf of all single mothers worldwide.

personally, i the little hairs along the back up my neck go up when i am typecast in to a group and evaluated based on some arbitrary measure. ie divorced women, or single mothers, or blondes, or italians, or virgos, or east coasters, or "not eye candy", or kinda cute, or even cougars (roar!) for that matter.

i find your question to be more appropriate for a dating web site rather than a single parenting web site since by your own admission you are not a single parent.

i do not know "what most single moms think" but this single mom is not here to meet dates - without or without training wheel requirements. good luck in your quest.

Have to hand it to you, this is the most convoluted pick up line I've ever seen or heard. What? It's not a pickup attempt? Just doing research? Your post reads a bit too much like something from Penthouse Forum. And we've been victimized a little too much in recent history. If you really ARE who you say you are you need to get out of the house and meet some actual people who have similar interests/issues and stop thinking about the whole older woman/single mom thing.

quote:

.......just hanging out, waiting to see what develops......

Isn't this what they call a peeping tom.....pervert...


Aquus.....The real solution to your delema is money...yep thats right it's all about money....
Real basic human equation.....The more $$ you have the more you get....
However...lacking the $$ to secure the ultimate piece there is a lot to said for the $2 hooker at times...

Take me for example....
I've never been with a "10"...BUT..
One night I was with three 3's and a 1.......so it all comes out in the wash....

Happy Hunting...and...Keep Your Stick On The Ice

My post is not a pickup line. I'm sorry you all don't believe me.

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, and respond assuming you are the person you say you are. Aspergers have a reputation of offending people when they may not have intended too, so you fit the profile in that respect.

Correct me if I'm wrong ladies but I don't think being a single mom changes what a woman looks for in a man. Every woman is attracted to charismatic, confident men. They want a man to make the first move. So if you are waiting around for a woman to make a move on you, you will be waiting for awhile. Being shy doesn't make you a bad person, but it does make you unattractive.

You will always be shy, that's not going to change, but just like your aspergers you can learn how to cope with it so it doesn't hold you back. I am also very shy. I got a book to help me with my shy daughter and it helped me a lot too. I'll never be the life of a party but I'm a lot less nervous about approaching strange women and talking to them.

quote:

Originally posted by HannahsBoy:

quote:

.......just hanging out, waiting to see what develops......

Isn't this what they call a peeping tom.....pervert...


Aquus.....The real solution to your delema is money...yep thats right it's all about money....
Real basic human equation.....The more $$ you have the more you get....
However...lacking the $$ to secure the ultimate piece there is a lot to said for the $2 hooker at times...

Take me for example....
I've never been with a "10"...BUT..
One night I was with three 3's and a 1.......so it all comes out in the wash....

Happy Hunting...and...Keep Your Stick On The Ice

lmao... yeah that doesn't hurt either. Maybe instead of focusing on women, Aquus, just focus on becoming the next Bill Gates. Chances are you'll find women being even more friendly with you the more money you have lol.

You might also look into using a humor coach... I heard there is a great one in the virgin islands, and he may or may not be able to hook you up with all the 3's and 1's you need for a perfect 10 kind of night

Strange thread? yes
But I'm also giving the benefit of the doubt so far, and that's why it's still here and hasn't disappeared.....
I'd like to give the topic at least a fair chance....

I think the thing that strikes me as weird here is that the question is posed to single mothers, as opposed to just single women.

Why the need to solicit advice from mothers? It seems equally absurd to ask this question to a forum of "Female Nose-Pickers" or "NASCAR Babes" or "Ladies who Love Leather." Why "Single Mothers?"

Is it because we single mothers have obviously had ***, at one time or another? Is it because of the prevalent stereotype that single mothers are desperate women, anxious to find substitute fathers for their kids? Is it because single mothers are believed to be easy?

Or did you post this question on the other forums, as well? What do the NASCAR Babes have to say?

Speaking for myself only, I would be uncomfortable starting a relationship with someone who was sexually inexperienced. But the fact that I've given birth has nothing to do with my feelings. It's more like the fact that I've had tons and tons of mind-blowing hot ***, and I'd be hesitant to have to teach someone who is less experienced.

My advice for you (and I'm being serious here) is not to categorize women. Just get to know us, be open and honest with who you are, and be willing to take some risks. You will find someone who will be happy to be with you. Good luck!

The reason why I'm asking single moms is because of my experiences out in public (eg the grocery store, mall, library, etc). I wasn't expecting all the bitterness and presuppositions that I'm out to pickup on women. Obviously, I lack in the ability to pickup women. Hannah's Boy's response about money is sinisterially accurate. Guess I'll have to wait until economic conditions improve in the United States to get a better job.

Aquus, this thread itself shows why you are having problems with women. You might have the best of intentions but, obviously, you are rubbing women the wrong way. You can wait around for them to change and react differently to you (good luck) or you can work on your social skills and fix WHY they are reacting to you that way.

You can look at women in a positive way, or a negative way. Yes it's true having more money helps with the ladies, but that's a very negative way of looking at it. HB was trying to add a humourous take, I don't think he actually expects you to become rich in order to woo women (it's one way though : P)

I like how Bobby put it.

quote:

The only thing they care about, is if you make them feel good when they are around you.

You don't need money to do that. But you are going to have to consider the way others perceive you. This thread is an example, you might have had the best of intentions, but it didn't make the women here feel very good so you're going to have to consider that and adjust yourself. Or you can wait for everyone else to change, or the economy to improve.

I'll add one thing that hasn't been addressed. Women do not know you are a virgin, unless you tell them. Or maybe you tattoed virgin-pride on your forhead, but I doubt it. A woman isn't going to know you are a virgin until they sleep with you and then it's too late (haha! you tricked em!). They may or may not stick around after that depending on how much they like being around you, but the worst that can happen is you'll be one step closer to being a smooth lover like myself.