Hi everyone! As my subject header says, good honest advice okay? Please dont sugar coat it.

I feel ridiculous to even tell anyone this, but Ive been seeing a guy for about 6 months now. Im 45 and hes 40 years old. Over time it has turned more serious, or so it seems to be. We originally met about 3 months before that, but he had a girlfriend in his life, and I didnt want any part of that. Well one day we met up again, and she was out of his life. So we started talking and dating again.

We both are divorced, me just recently after 18 monhts of seperation, him for 4 years now.

We see each other at least once week, sometimes 2X, but more once a week. Over the past couple of months he calls everyday, sometimes a day goes by, but he does have his children 50 % of the time in a month. I really miss him when he doesnt call everyday, but I guess we both need our time and space RIGHT?????

Heres the biggy !!! In all this time he has never invited me to his home. He has been to mine but Ive never been there. I find it odd and I dont understand it. You can imagine what Im thinking!!! Im wondering if he's not been honest with me about her. But for all the times he calls, sometimes more than twice a day, how could that be?

So what reason would a man have to do this? Is it some type of committment issue???? Biggest ? do I ask and how do I ask?????

I think that if it's bothering you.....you should ask. I think that you should be able to outright ask him without it sounding like an interrogation...."So, when are you going to show me your place?"
Hmmm, single guy with kids, could be that he might have one of those typical "man" homes. Some of us don't always keep a decor that we're so proud to show a woman Of course that wouldn't be me...well depending on the day...

Could be nothing, but it is something that is obviously weighing on your mind to some degree, so I think the best thing is find out for sure.

I agree with Don. Hey he's a guy he would know...

Thanks Don!! I was so hoping for a response from a guy, NOT that I dont want the women to respond too, but a male perspective always helps!

It does weigh on my mind. I cant seem to make peace with it, and stop wondering about it. And I suppose thats because I dont know the reason.

That's why I say you should ask, it's something that would otherwise continue to weigh more and more in your thoughts. Nothing wrong with that either by the way, I'd be wondering as well under similar circumstances. Could be nothing to it and at least you'll have put your mind at ease and could go on enjoying what seems to be making you happy otherwise. Best wishes

LOL, even if my house was trashed and I loved someone I would invite them over. Oh, heck it is trashed, sheesh.

Im hoping its only about it being a "mans" place. Thats my concern, so I guess I just have to ask. I feel as if he's hiding something from me or hiding me from someone.

I am not sure, but I can't tell, all men are different. It seems weird even for a guy.

Thanks again Paul. I guess the only thing left to do is ask. Hes not much for conversations in the relationship area. I think hes a bit of a committment phob.

I suppose that if he choses not to respond to me or respond honestly then, Im not as important to him as I thought I was. And if he gets upset with me for asking, the same holds true there.

So then what do we really have??????

You mentioned that everything is going great so far. If you really believe that, why didn't you go to him with this question first?

The reason I havent asked him first, is that he tends to shy away from relationship talks. I know I shouldnt let that stop me but it does. All this time I just figured it would eventually just happen and there would be no need to ask. But it hasnt happened!!

you mentioned that he calls u.... do u ever call him on his home phone???? i mean if he did have something to hide then he might not want u to call him at home... however, maybe everyone is right and he is just worried about his home not being neat enough or something....
well, that is my two cents worth...
joyce

I've been the woman with a cheating man.

He can most certainly call you several times a day. My ex called his gf and went to her house, even picked up her kids from day care. All while I supposedly did not know. He's a health nut, so he would frequently go for walks or bike rides. Right about the time I was cooking dinner, or otherwise engaged and could not offer to go with. He always took his cell phone. She also called his cell. He would make sure it was off so it went to vm, and when he'd forget to turn it off he always managed to let it ring just long enough to miss the call. Then he'd quickly turn it off and say - not important, I'll call them back later. I knew, and IF there is anything going on - she probably does too.

Thanks everyone. I plan on having a discussion with him about it. But I honestly dont think hes got someone at home, it just doesnt fit. Maybe Im a fool, but I dont believe thats the problem at all.

have you ever asked he why you have not been invited over? ibeen seeing my guy for over 3months now, i asked him why never been over my house, he said you never invited me , you did once we had a nice lunch togerther, but since then you never invited me, which is true,i have not i did think i needed to invited him,i asumed this. well anyways he works long nites and sleeps days so it would work anyways now. have you sugested makeing agood meal bring over to his house to eat? i believe could be maybe house clean thing, or he mighted not think you want come over since you both are on a patteren the way you doing things now.or even thought about it. as for cheating thing, yes i seen it happen before but dont jump the gun.relax and ask him. why have not been over to his house at all. meandme