I know that question itself will cause me to get beat up, but I really do have a question. My brother called me yesterday for 2 reasons, to give me his new cell number and to let me know that one of the guys I use to work w/at my last job asked him for my number. Instead of him calling me to make sure it was okay for him to give out my number, he just went ahead and gave it out. This isn't the first time he has done this either. That aside since it was wrong, I now have a dilema.

I have known this guy since just before I got pregnant w/my son. He was my son's father's trainee. They were pretty good friends. When I found out I was pregnant, this guy was one of the few that didn't just avoid me because of the things that were being said. He was always very sweet. He is also one of the few that thinks what my son's father has done/is doing is wrong. When I decided to have my house built, he was the first to come up to me and tell me that he would volunteer his labor to put in the A/C so that I could get upgrades. How sweet is that?

I asked my brother why he wanted my number, and the response I got was that he just wanted to check and see how I was. While I believe that may be partially true, there was something in the way my brother said it that I didn't believe. Besides, I know this guy and he wouldn't just call for that. He would have just asked my brother and left it at that.

Boy, that was long winded for just this little question, but I thought some background would help in the way that people respond. I have been talking to a friend of mine and she seems to think that I should just answer the phone if/when it rings and see where things go. I don't know if I'm really ready to open a door to anything other than just friendship, but I'm not sure that I'm not ready for more.

Since my friend is telling me I'm a "scaredy cat" I thought I'd ask all of you to tell me what you think. Should I just answer and see what happens or should I avoid the situation based on the information I've given. He really is sweet and cute (I'm not vein, but who among us goes for the ugliest person we know to be with?), makes decent money, has a good job and is stable. So, what do you think? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can I ask, what would be the harm in picking up the phone and catching up? It appears that you haven't talked with him in a while. I would say don't do it with all these preconceived notions of what may happen or what it will lead to. Just pick up the phone and talk to a friend you haven't spoken with in a while
No pressure, no worries.

I haven't talked to him since January when I left my job with the company he still works for. I don't know what it was about all of this, but the way my brother said that he wanted to talk to me, made me a little uneasy about even answering the phone. I have many male friends, more so than female friends. I don't have a problem w/being friends w/him. I think he is a fantastic person. This is what Blindsky was talking about. I will find a way to talk myself out of even taking a chance to have a little happiness come in my life, even w/a new old friend. I know that doesn't make sense, but I think that I've made my world one where I have a hard time letting people in to be there for me. I guess this problem is mine. I really need help.

I'm with Don. Why not just talk to the guy and see where it goes. You can always hang up on him or never talk to him again if it doesn't feel right. On the other hand, maybe you'll like talking with him and want to go the next step...like talking to him a second time!

I've been a bit "gun shy" myself about relationships since the divorce, so I can totally relate to you feeling like a "scaredy cat". I think part of the problem comes from building things up too much. The way you talk about this guy, it's like you're already sizing him up as a future mate. Which is natural, of course. But if you think in those terms, it puts so much pressure on every move.

Just 'cos you talk to the guy once, doesn't mean you have to talk to him again. Just 'cos you may end up going out with him once, doesn't mean you ever have to go out with him again. Etc., etc.

Go slow. Keep it light. And always keep the 'EXIT' sign in plain view.

BDad - Thank you for saying what I have been thinking for the last 24 hours, only in an eloquent and fluent manner.

She's already putting up boundaries, finding his faults, setting expectations. For all we know, he wants one of her cakes!

You are just too funny, Blindsky! I don't know that he knows I even bake cakes.

You are right, BDad. I am putting up boundries. I have known him for about 7 1/2 years now. You may be right that I'm sizing him up for a future mate, but I don't think that is what I'm doing. I'm trying to control the situation, and I just figured that out. I can't control what he is calling for, and that makes me nervous. I may have to address that for a minute. I hadn't thought about the control freak part of me coming out and rearing it's ugly head. I hate when that happens.

Thanks guys!

Can I have a cake?

It's on its way! Hope you don't mind it stuck to the box when it is shipped UPS! Hahahahaha!

In that case, make it an "upside down" cake!

Oh yummmy, I can't wait!!!

Go for it you have nothing to lose and maybe a lot to gain

Take care and Good luck!!!

i have a younger sister and i dont think i would have given out her number with out asking. sounds like to me he is interested in little more than just friends. maybe you ought to try at least talking to him see how it goes. as for me i am little gun shy when it comes to starting anything new with some one. sometimes answering some of these forums is good enough for me

Thank you for your responses. He hasn't called yet, and he may not. I jump every time the phone rings and could kick my brothers butt for giving out my number, but who knows! I don't know if I will answer if it rings w/a number I don't know yet, but I am starting to see that I shouldn't just cut things off before I know where they are going to go. I really need to learn to let things happen and not stress, but I've never been good about that. I'm a little gun shy about relationships too, but I really need to stop not giving someone a chance because of my past. Friends are great for pointing out things that make us want to kick ourselves. Thank you everyone for your responses.

Hey,
Your brother could have just told you he gave out your number to get an idea if you might be interested in this guy, and to see if you would get mad at him for doing that. I only mention this because brothers are annoying and sometimes I know my brother would like to see me with a "good guy". My brother would do this just to see if he had my "permission" to give out my number....he would know by my reaction. Just a thought Me

He's given out my number before, so I know that he had already done it. I think that this guy tried to call this weekend, but I didn't hear the phone. I saw that I had missed a call, but didn't recognize the number and didn't call back. Oh, well! Guess if it was him and he was really interested, he'll call back!

It's called an answering maching or voice mail. Why are people so afraid to say things to a machine??