So, I was engaged to this guy(not my son's father), who I thought was the greatest guy ever. He moved here to NJ from Colorado to be with my son and I. Then he decided 6 weeks before our wedding that he hated NJ and wanted to go back to Colorado. He lied to me leading up to the point when he left so much that when I found out about the lies I felt like such a fool for not knowing! The day he left he told me he was at work, when really he was packed up and driving back to CO. When he got there he called and called crying telling me he missed me and he has made a mistake and that he wanted to come back. BUT..... I couldn't allow myself to let him back into my son and my life again, not knowing if he would leave us another time. When I had to tell my son about "him" leaving and not coming back it was so hard. My son's face turned white, his eyes filled with tears but at the same time couldn't even cry. It was so weird, like he was trying to be strong about it but he was crushed at the same time! That hurt me so bad to see that done to my child.... There was no way I was ever going to let him back in our life again to potentially do the same thing. Yep I have alot of anger about it, and still trying to figure out how to ever trust someone again, when they say "forever"..... Does anyone really mean it when they say Forever anymore?????

There is Forever I know it exists I had it just mine ended early with my husbands death. Finding your forever isn't always easy but when you do it will be worth it. Trust your gut instincts. My husband and I alawys signed our cards forever Jason. We didn't just write it we knew we'd always be together. There are alot of wonderful men out there you just have find the one that is the right fit for you. Don't lose faith.

Hey baby how you doing?

:Edit: that was a joke

LAMO- Bishop making me smie again!

If you can't dazzle them with good looks or quite charm

hit em over the head with laughter and a charming smile

quote:

Originally posted by Bishop:
If you can't dazzle them with good looks or quite charm

hit em over the head with laughter and a charming smile

Very Cute Bishop! lol

Jenny,
I really want to believe in forever. But its hard. I have recently had to put an end to a relationship... and I am having one heck of a time pulling out of it.

I think you did the right thing - you have to put you and your child(ren) first....

Nicole.

quote:

Originally posted by Bishop:
Hey baby how you doing?

:Edit: that was a joke

LOL!! That made me laugh!! Thank you!!

quote:

Originally posted by normajean-sugar:
There is Forever I know it exists I had it just mine ended early with my husbands death. Finding your forever isn't always easy but when you do it will be worth it. Trust your gut instincts. My husband and I alawys signed our cards forever Jason. We didn't just write it we knew we'd always be together. There are alot of wonderful men out there you just have find the one that is the right fit for you. Don't lose faith.

I guess I believe it is out there, just seems like I don't ever trust anyone enough anymore to let them in. More for the fact of my son, I dont want him to get hurt like that ever again. It's like this: I don't want a man around my son because I don't want him to get attached and possibly hurt again, and then at the same time, I will never truly know if I want to be with that person until I see the way the act with my son. It's like a no win situation.

You know...my story is pretty sad, hard and harsh...and even horrible at times. I'm no longer with "Ex" wife...and really have no desire to be with her.

But, just like the first time I said it, when I was 18 years old....I WILL LOVE Her Forever.

CAN Forever disappear?....I'm not the one to ask.

Today we throw around words as if they have no meaning, like love and forever. Someone can say yeah baby I love you and totally NOT mean it.
Then again maybe that is me and MY trust issues. I also have the same feeling that how can I ever trust someone again after what I have been through?
They say time heals all wounds but what the heck am I supposed to do NOW today?
Just come here and read and write and be with friends.

quote:

Originally posted by Jen Hawaii:

They say time heals all wounds but what the heck am I supposed to do NOW today?
Just come here and read and write and be with friends.

I know this sounds corny as all heck...but maybe WE need YOU here...more than you need US.

quote:

Today we throw around words as if they have no meaning, like love and forever. Someone can say yeah baby I love you and totally NOT mean it.

There is also power in words where a simple gesture can make the biggest difference in someone's life.

When I found myself penniless, alone, abandoned by my husband and my own family with two toddlers, unemployed, homeless ... my son's wise old teacher told me that she "believed" I would make it through this without a doubt in her mind. I held on to those words every time I lost faith in myself and I try to remember the difference I can make in other peoples' lives from one simple gesture.

I tend to interpret "forever" to mean... at this moment, I wish I can feel the way I do with you forever. Achieving that would take effort.

Paul - I love you man (throwing them words around again). You have a way about you that brightens people's lives.
Now is it bad that I feel more of a connection to the people here on the board than I do in my "real" life?

quote:

Originally posted by Jen Hawaii:
Paul - I love you man (throwing them words around again). You have a way about you that brightens people's lives.
Now is it bad that I feel more of a connection to the people here on the board than I do in my "real" life?

Jen most ppl in all our "real life" dont know what its like to do everything on thier own. raise kids or what ever they always have help. mabey this is why you feel closer to your friends on here than in "real " life. they understand where you are coming from