I have been dating this guy for about 8mos. I moved in with him and 1 mo. later moved out he got so mad about that. Then we fight about my babys daddy and him not paying child support and he thinks that if he doesn't pay he shouldn't see her and if I do let him see her he gets all mad at me about it. I really care about him and he is really good with my daughter but it seems like every time we have a fight he is always to busy for me he goes out with his friends and its like he punishes me!! I am also currently 6mos pregnant with his child!! what should I do ??? need advice.

When he goes out with his friends after a fight he is probably letting off steam. We all need to sometimes.
As far as not letting your babies Daddy see her. Let him know that legally you can not stop him from seeing her because of child support. You need to take the support matter to court. Your daughter is not a bardering chip.
Why did you move out after one month if you really care about him? I do not understand that. My advice figure out what you want from this guy and tell him. Be honest with him and yourself.

I think it was wise for you to move out in the first place. He's completely crossed the line here. It's not up to him to discuss your business with your ex about your child. He can give you some insight,if asked, but ultimately it's your choice and he should pose no barring on your final decision.

Also, regardless if the dad is paying child support or not, your baby has the right to see him, regardless. I know it's frustrating but these are 2 seperate issues and should remain that way.

Fight and Flight << ever heard of the expression? Not exactly the best way of leading a healthy lifestyle with someone like this. There's not a doubt that your left feeling defeated when he walks out on you. He's in control and liking it.

We all have the potential of being nice. It's how you deal with the day-to-day stresses that defines our character. If he's fiesty to begin with, it can only get worse.

In my opinion, you've been a single mom once, you can do it again. Don't settle for another potential problem.

If I'm completely over-reacting, then date him. But who's to say you have to move back in with him? Put him on trial and see how he pulls through. If he continues to pester you about your business, then do yourself a favour - close that door.

Keep us posted and best of luck.
jes

Hi Nicole,

Welcome!
Very sorry to see the situation you�re in. From the sounds of it, you�re in a predicament that�s deeper than what this board can provide (not to say the comments already mentioned aren�t worth considering). You�ve rushed into a living arrangement with someone who is showing very immature and irresponsible behavior concerning your daughter and now you�re getting ready to repeat the cycle with his child. You need to talk with someone who can help guide you through this and have direct involvement with what you�re going through. Again, not to say this board can�t be a soft place for you to land at times, but you�re into some pretty serious stuff and two young lives are going to be directly affected. Please look to your church or someone you feel comfortable with to help you with this. From all accounts, it�s too much for you to handle alone.

My prayers and best wishes to you.

Larry

Dear Nicole,

I agree with Larry, don't be so quick to end a relationship...yes he's being childish, insecure, and thinking he can erase a part of your and your child's past. What ever you decide, seeking counseling for both of you and you by yourself is something you should really look into.

From what you said, he doesn't sound like a total bad guy, maybe he just needs a little guidance...good luck and be strong.

I think if your gut is telling you to get out, get out. It's great that he's good to your daughter, but he needs to be good to you first and you haven't mentioned that yet.

What strikes me odd is why a young pregnant lady would move out only after a month, if he's "good"? That in itself is hard to do and it takes a lot of courage, particularly when you're pregnant. There was reason enough to believe that it was for the best. Don't let fear side-step you.

It sounds to me like there's more to the story to conclude it soley on the basis of immaturity. Isn't anyone else with me on this?

Question: what made you decide to leave in the first place?

jes