I am new to this site but need some help.. I am a single mother of two.. my husband was killed two years ago.. i have brached out and started dating again and met this great guy so i thought.. He and i met and decided to start dating.. He was divorced so he said.. He had a great job respected me and my kids and was great with them.. well 2months into our relationship i got an email from his wife .. he told me he was divorced i had no idea ... well now he has ended our relationship to an extent. I have found out i am pregnant.. i have told him but he wants me to end it to make his life easier.. I dont want to because abortion is wrong.. i have let him go and tried to block him from my life but now he has moved closer to me and calls all the time and wants to be apart of my life but he wants his wife too.. how do i deal with this and my two daughters and pregnant hormones... if i knew he was married i would have never gotten involved...

it is your body, and you chose what is best for you and your family...if you believe abortion is wrong, then don't do it.

one step at a time...

the answers will unfold day by day...go with your heart and your gut...

right now it is late here in canada, and i need to sleep off this terrible migraine, but i hope to see your posts soon.

MM

First of all, welcome to the forums! I'm glad you found us, this is a great site to find support from single parents who know exactly what you're going through.

With that said, I actually understand the pregnancy hormones and stuff and how hard it is to break if off with the child's father. I myself found it hard to completely break it off with my son's father while I was pregnant, it was only when my son was three months old that i had the strength to do it.

My advice is, while you are pregnant, do what will give you peace. If the father is causing you more stress when he's there instead of being supportive to you in your pregnancy, it is best to eliminate any source of negative energy because it will put a strain to your baby. Do whatever makes you feel good for now, then when you're not pregnant anymore, that's the time when you decide and act according to logic. As of now, take care of your emotions.

Now if you want to cut it off with the father, you have to tell him he cant have the best of both worlds, he has to make a choice, between you or his wife. If he chooses you then he has to divorce his wife, if he chooses his wife then he should be completely out of your life. Because if you continue this relationship with him while he is married, you will be like his mistress, and I'm sure you dont want that. If he continues to call you can change your number.

Anyway, I just hope you keep yourself happy while you're pregnant for the baby's sake. Let us know of developments, and keep us posted. Also, feel free to jump in the discussions here, it's a good place to find friends who can support you and give advice.

good job slim shady...(that's Dawnbutterfly btw)

sound advice i'd say..

Thanks so much for your advice ladies... i dont want to be the mistress at all .... i would have never been in the relationship if i knew... but i was and fell for him and now am having his baby it will turn out the way its supposed to... thanks again... keep the advice coming...

How do you deal with it?? You tell him to get the child support coming along...and to go on to live his merry little life...with his wife

He is dishonest obviously so don't consider going back with him...he cheated on his wife and will most certainly cheat on you...once his wife kicks him out, he will be knocking on your door again....know what you want before that happens.

OH ladies, this is SO my story.
Same, exact SAME thing happened to me.
My husband was married when we met and I got an IM from his wife then I called him on the carpet and the tried to ignore me. I was such a different person then (2 years ago) and did not think I would allow myself to get so involved. Well needless to say I did. He left his wife for me and we got married. Lo and behold he cheated on me with some chic from Australia 3 days after we were married. I went through MAJOR surgery to be able to have HIS child and then I found out about the girl from Australia. Then I catch him on the gay websites looking for "coffee" and I had to put a restraining order out because one of us was going to die.
Now here I am after all of that 8 months pregnant and kicking myself for being so stupid.
I have lost my other kids basically and am so wanting here the words from him "I have found someone else" that would just make things so much easier.
UGH!
OK I'm done now..

Jen,...well...gay websites????????

OMG...a freak...i don't get it...i don't understand someone who goes both ways...i thought someone was either gay or not gay, but to go both ways is a little too much...

soon enough they will have bi-sexual rights..

I feel your story, I have to say it matches mine almost perfectly. I met a great guy, and found out he was married. He had said he was divorced. I also got an email from his wife. I was two months pregnant when I found out. We broke up when I found out, but he and his wife both hassled me for awhile.

how do these people do that??? wow...unreal.