I usually don't unload this many of my problems on anyone. Maybe that is one of the reasons why I feel so alone. I just hope that someone will be able to help me out somehow.
I met the father of my, now 18 month old, baby when I was 13 (16 now). We started going together right away. We had the same interests and we both just clicked. When I was 14, I got pregnant; it was a high risk pregnancy and long, hard recovery. However, despite the mood swings and 60 extra pounds, he stayed. He was my rock through the entire thing. Everything has been pretty good (not saying that there were no problems, just nothing we couldn't work through)up until about a month ago. All of a sudden... he got the fear: at age 18, every guy I have ever spoken to has come down with the fear of "what am I going to do for a job?" "who am I?" "Where do I belong?" It really hit me hard because I didn't think that it was even possible to think he belonged anywhere else than where he promised to always be: with our little family. He said, when I was pregnant, that he wanted to be the best Dad in the world. He has really tried; in his own inexperienced ways. He has done good. But now, he is not sure that he wants to stay with me and our baby. He said that he just didn't know about us. He says that he doesn't see himself becoming anything if he stays in the relationship. He doesn't know what he would do if he left, but he is really leaning toward leaving. All of a sudden, he has become very cold to me. He doesn't want to say he loves me, he doesn't want to do anything he used to with me. He used to ask me to marry him at least once a week. Now he doesn't even speak in terms of "future" when it comes to us. It really scares me. I have told him that I cannot wait in limbo for him to decide if he wants me or not. With every day that passes, my baby is becoming more and more aware of his Daddy, he is growing and becoming more attached. I have been worried sick over what is going to happen. I don't want to lose this guy, but if he is questioning our love... I may have already lost him. I don't know what to do. I really can't move on in one way or another until he decides. If he commits, it has to be real. If he leaves, it has to be permanent. I really can't explain how painful it would be for me to get over him and then have him come back and turn our lives upside down again. I think I am also really afraid that there will never be anyone else out there for me. I can raise this child by myself, but I want someone to share my life with; who won't leave or question his love.
One thing that I am really afraid of is that my boyfriend is so unsure about himself, that he will blame it on our relationship and when he realizes the mistake, it will be too late. I don't want him to make this mistake, which is probably why I am not giving him an ultimatum, because I know he would leave.
What should I do? I have family support, and they are all saying that he is not good enough for me. I just don't know anymore.

Hi,
Do you think he would go to a councillor with you where you can have someone independent to help you both see where you want to be in the future. Family have your best interests at heart but they are not unbiased and just maybe someone from the outside would help. If he won’t go then go by yourself. I am really sorry that you are going through this.
And as much as you don’t feel like it now, I would be very surprised if most people on this board have not felt at some point worried that there is not someone else out there for them and where is the person that they can share their life with but relationships do end and you think you are never going to get back up but you do and you do meet other people to share your life with. However at the moment try and find someone from outside to talk to. Also the people here are really nice and a lot of them have been in exactly the same place as you so keep posting to get support here. The first priority in your life has to be baby and you
Take care

Thanks Zealand, I have decided that we need to break up. He has been putting miles and miles of unaccounted trips on my car and lying about it. He goes at least 16 extra miles everyday, when he is supposed to be at school. He lies and feels nothing, I asked him that last night. He says he doesn't feel any pain or remorse for what he does wrong. I can't and won't do this anymore... at least to keep my baby safe from this.

Oh I am really sorry. You are so right - if he is lying to you then you have to protect yourself and your baby. I am sure that this is a really tough time for you but you are doing the right thing. Take good care of yourself and stay strong.

Lux you are a very wise 16 year old. If you can realize that this guy isn't going to give you the support you need emotionally, then you are right, he has already left and you need to move on. I know it is easier said than done. I know from experience. I married my high school sweetheart and got pregnant on the honeymoon. Three kids later, I am a single parent and have taken him back in our house 4 times only to have him lie and steal from us. It has hurt my kids and I can't do it anymore. After some soul searching I have unfortunately realized that I never really loved him, I loved the idea of being in love and therefore didn't leave him earlier. I figured who was going to love me. I have since met some very nice men, some just as friends and one that has stolen my heart but he doesn't feel the same. So we have remained friends and it has worked out so far. You will find many friends and eventually the right one for you will love you and your baby and will marry you and you will be able to extend your family if you chose to. Good luck, everything will be fine, just believe in yourself!