Would you get involved with someone who wasn't a US citizen?
He has a work visa only right now. And we have been seeing each other for almost 2 months. But now I am not sure what to do.
So is this a smart idea? Or should I be brave enough to back away?

ahh, well that depends on what you mean. Is he pushing marriage for citizanship or something. I guess what I am saying is there is not enough information to tell what I would think. There are a lot of good honist people here working on visa's. A little more detal would help.

How long is his visa good for? Are you prepared to have this end abruptly and/or go for a loooong distance relationship? Depending on how long he has is there some possibility you could actually feel sure about having fallen in love and wanting to spend your life with him, and the kids too? Is it long enough to actually be comfortable enough to introduce the kids to get the feel of how that would be prior to marrying him prior to his visa expiring? Is it worth it? I have no idea, there are a lot of if's in this. For me personally, I doubt it.... I don't have the emotional energy for all the if's, but, I'm not in love and you may be now or at some point soon.

Sorry..I guess more info would help.

Paul: He isn't pushing for marriage at all. And has no intentions of trying to take advantage to gain citizenship.

Sue: His visa is just renewed for another year. His work visa is sponsered by his brother's company, so it's fairly secure that it's unlikely that he would have to abruptly leave. If it he did have to leave and go back to his country I know that I would have to say good-bye.
We do have this instant connection that I can't really explain into words. And I did introduce the kids to him as mommy's friend. He is very careful of his actions while in front of the kids. We don't kiss, hold hands, etc in front of them. So far the kids and him seem to interact well. He also has genuine concern for the kids.
I am not completely sure that I am inlove with him...but we both do have feelings for each other.
We had long talk about all of this today and for now we plan to take things day by day. We know each other's concerns and those of what our families and friends say. They are not opposing it, just they are concerned because our cultures are very different. We dont see it as a big deal, but our families do.

I guess I am really curious as to what others think.

lol, if your going to answer your own questions, why ask . Don't get me wrong, I wish my life was that easy. One day maybe, but I dout it. If I was you I wouldn't worry about it, one day at a time, as it where.

It sounds like there isn't much question then. Especially with both of you having good open communication and agreement on the big thing, the kids. Good Luck! At the very least, try and just enjoy without too much worry (a joke for us parents, I know)

I am really wanting to get second opinions. I did some research on found out that the work visa he has can only be renewed for up to 7 yrs and getting a green card isn't that easy, which can take up to 5 yrs. (Unless married which is up 3 yrs..but don't know the details of that) and if he marries a US citizen there is another set of rules and forms for that.
I guess I am looking into the future of the what ifs and not sure how close I can get to him. I dont want to completely fall for him and then he has to go back to his country. (I know I wouldn't be willing to move to his country), but then there is the chance that everything will work out for us in the end.
So I am confused as to continue to let things continue somedays and other days I think I should maybe save myself the heartache and just split now. But at the same time I have already allowed myself to feel that way I do so far for him and he returns the feelings. Neither one of us really wants to walk away.
This is where I really want the second opinions.

Hey Tammy~

Think about how attached you are to him now. Multiply that by 5 years for yourself and also for your children.

What if he has to leave after living life as a family for 5 years? That would be like a death in the family for me.

I'm not trying to be pessimistic. I think it's great that you are weighing the risks and trying to get opinions "outside of the box."

I myself am not a risk taker. Not when it comes to my emotions and my children. For me, I run even when there is a real possibility of a lifelong relationship. So I may not be the best at giving an opinion but thought you needed some input....

So depends on your strengths. I know my emotional strengths and weaknesses.. I know that it would hurt too much to lose and I can't stand having a rug pulled out from underneath me...

I would far rather have 5 years of happiness with a partner I love and loves me than end it now cause it will hurt alot down the road if it ends.
By the way good to see you around again Tammy.