Ok, I need advice. I have been dating a few guys. Nothing serious. A fun night and a kiss is all it is. Here is the problem. I have potential with some really well off men. They are OK. I know that if I go after these type of men, I will be financially secure for life. My son will have the best of everything. The guy I truely see potential in though, is 5 years younger than me. He has multiple tatoos. He is a plumber (nothing wrong with that). He is not very refined. The thing is, he so sweet. He is responsible. He is so understanding about my son being my first priority. We have so much FUN when we are together.

Should I follow my heart when it comes to dating or be more sensible?

Sensible? What is sensible? My girlfreind is 18 years younger than. I have a college education, she doesn't. She's short, I'm tall. But when I'm with her I feel like I'm floating 10 feet off the ground, she makes me complete, she fills my heart. If he makes you happy and is good with your son that's about as good as it gets. All the money in the world won't make you happy if it's not right.
I'd Go with your heart here....'course, I'm a guy.....Ladies, chime in anytime....

Money well if that is what you see as being your contentment in the long run then that is the way for you to go.

I think the plumber sounds like a spark and makes you happy.

binarian - You are blessed
You sound over the moon for the girlfriend. teehee!
that is so nice!

quote:

Originally posted by iamHarmony:
[qb] Money well if that is what you see as being your contentment in the long run then that is the way for you to go.

I think the plumber sounds like a spark and makes you happy.

binarian - You are blessed
You sound over the moon for the girlfriend. teehee!
that is so nice! [/qb]

Yeah, I am a lucky guy. I guess when you feel that way you wish everyone could.

I am not shallow. I just have so much pressure to bring home the acceptable guy from my family.

quote:

Originally posted by alim4547:
[qb] I am not shallow. I just have so much pressure to bring home the acceptable guy from my family. [/qb]

Didn't think you were. Just don't like to see anyone pass up something good.

Oh I didn't mean to imply anything.
Pressure from family hahahah I sure understand that.
I for one think you are to live your life for you and your child. Family will at some point see you are happy and be happy.
We each are individuals and need to walk our own path.
Good luck in which ever way you go

I just made a huge mistake with my first husband. I don't want to make it again. Whenever I ask my Mom to watch my son, so I can go on a date with the plumber, she always says, I can't believe you would date a guy like that. You need a professional. My sister's husband is the one who introduced us. He is a plumber. They have a fantastic life. I don't get it. By the way, how long after your divorce or whatever were you ready for something serious. I have been divorced for 2 weeks and seperated for 5 months.

I think your mom has a plan for you.
Don't we all have hopes and dreams for our kids?Have a gentle talk to her, about negative comments and give her a kiss and hug. Thanks for caring mom.

As for when I was ready well I thought I was ready practically after the divorce. HA HA
I wanted to move away from attachment to the ex in every way possible.
But, in reality I still had alot of stability to gain in so many areas of my life that bringing in a new person wasn't the best of ideas early.
I personally believe that once you don't feel a need to have someone in your life, then you are ready to welcome someone into your life and share.
Everyone is different.

I feel bipolar when it comes to dating. At one moment I feel like I am on top of the world. I have the whole thing understood and I have my feelings in check. The next thing I know, I am so confused or in bed crying. One moment I will know exactly what I want in a relationship and the next I will want the exact opposite.

I have 7 sisters and they all tell me not to date anyone until the kids are gone from home (another 4 to 6 years at the earliest). so do I listen to them and wait til I am almost 60 to start dating? and you could always try dating what you mom would like, but that does you no good cause it may not be what you like. (you have heard of the relationships because of what the parents want). having everything you want often leads to nothing you want. if the plumber makes you feel all googly inside, money can't compete with that.

Just remember alim, it is you and your kids happiness that matters!!! Don;t worry about what everyone else thinks. I say it doesn't matter what he does for a living as long as he is happy doin that job and ya;ll are able to live on the income ya'll bring in. I wish you luck.

Ya know what they say, opposites attract!!!

I say go for the dang plumber! Take in what mom says and then go for what makes you happy.

The man I have been talking to, I just met last night. we're been talking for like 5 months now and well it went good. I really enjoy his company, he's very sweet, has gorgeous eyes and just a very hard working man. Now, my mom doesn't know a thing about him, why, because she wouldn't approve. He's 19 years older then me but we relate to each other as if we grew up together. He drives a propane truck and does welding jobs on the side. So far, things are great with us so that's all I care about. I just know if things get serious the family is going to be a pain.

Overall I say follow your heart! Go for the one that makes you happy. Money won't make you happy. (or at least I say it won't)

Gabriel's mom, You are grown. As long as you are honest and responsible about what you need and want in a relationship, go for it. I know how influential parents can be. Especially when you live at home with them. I am just feeling really depressed the last few days. I would love to pursue a relationship, but my son doesn't leave me much time for that. Even if I did have time, I don't think I would know what to do. I am so confused on what I want or who I want. All the pressure I am under right now with school, work, home life, dealing with my X, my son is an emotional wreck over the divorce, I just feel desperate and scared.

Thanks alim,
From the sound of it, I think you really need time to heal. Enjoy your son and the good things in life. And yes parents (and other relatives) can be very influential, along with overprotective. With how things ended with my ex, my family is very protective over me, which I appreiciate but they want me to find a saint lol. Have you thought about getting any counseling to help deal with your divorce and all of the emotions that go with. Also maybe some counseling for you and your son together, to talk and work through everything. I hope you feel better and have a great day!

Amy