3 weeks ago right befor school started I asked the union to help me wade thru the rules and find away to get time off for class. This guy named Dave said he would help me, and found the info I needed and presented to my boss. I told Dave all about my divorce and how the ex was trying to use school against me seeing my daughter. She says if I am in school at night I won't have time for Grace. I also told the ex that Dave was helping me with this so I could go to school. I didn't get the time off and had to take an on line course (which I am already behind in). The weekend after school started I went to pick up Grace. The ex was sitting outside talking on the phone and didn't see me comeing up next to her. And I overheard her telling a friend that she had been seeing someone for a few weeks and that it was going really well. After she got off the phone I asked her who she was seeing, and wouldn't you know it she is dating my union rep Dave.

So I had to ask if the were dating when he was supposed to be helping me. Or if he took the info I gave him about the divorce and asked her out. Either way it was unethical and inappropriate. So I went to the union pres and vp and I went to HR and spoke to the labor/management liason. And Dave got in trouble and she got made to look like a coniving vindictive person who will use other people and $ex to get her way.

Now she is calling me and attacking me and telling everyone that I am just jealous and I am mean and controlling, and abusive, a liar...etc.
In all this I did nothing wrong but try to go to school. It has made it very hard for me at work. So I have not been getting much sleep (an hour or 2 a night) and haven't been able to keep any food down because of the stress. It is hard enough for me to understand how a person can walk out on a marriage when the supposedly loved you and then to keep your child from you. But this, this is unfathomable to me as to why she would want to hurt my employment. If I can't work I can't support our daughter or the rest of my kids. I can't believe someone could be so calouse and cruel when it comes to the welfare of children.

All of this and I am up for a job promotion at work, which over the next year would give me about a 7K dollar in crease in pay. As it is now she makes about 10k more than me, so if I got the job she wouldn't have to pay me child support under the order that is being reviewed . I guess that is why we are ex's, because I don't even know her.

Sorry this is such a rant, but I thought I would try to explain to people why I am stressed out. Thanks for listening.

Anytime Dali. I just don't get X's. They have a father that wants to have the children and know them and they keep them away. I've always felt that if my X wanted to be in my son life great. The Xs just don't know lucky the can have it when the other parent wants to be in their kids live. When they use the kids that is so WRONG. I would never and have never used my son to get my X's attention or to get back at him.

As for what you did...it was right. I would have done that. It was wrong on both of their parts. After you poured out your story to get help. Can we say disrepect!? She has not right to attack you at all.

I have not ture solid advice to give you but I can offer a shoulder for you to cry on. Hey don't get to stressed you have your adorable daughter Grace and your other kids to be there for. I hope you get better and less stressed.

GOOD LUCK

SPIRIT :huggies: :huggies: :huggies: Huggies always make me feel better.

quote:

After she got off the phone I asked her who she was seeing, and wouldn't you know it she is dating my union rep Dave.

Gawd.. that's just wrong on so many levels. I am amazed by what people will do sometimes. I am glad this jerk got in trouble, but - sorry you even have to go thru something like this. Rant away, you certainly have every right to. That's aweful!!

Sometimes I think people just do things for spite, but they don't think them thru. Other times, people are just plain selfish. In this case, I think your ex and this Dave fella - are both.

What goes around, comes around.

:grouphug:

Wow. That's so weird. How does your ex know YOUR rep? I agree as well with this. It's wrong at every angle. I'm glad you reported this to HR as he clearly stepped out of boundaries.

Why would your employer turn you down if you had the right-of-way with your union rep to further your education? Aren't they suppose to fight for your right in this?

Sorry for your stresses. I hope things change for the better sometime sooooon!

Hey Dali,
So sorry to see your stress level isn't going down. That is just horrible on both ends, your ex and your rep guy from work. Glad you went higher up on that. It is hard to understand how someone who claimed to love someone else can just up and leave. I hope things get better. *many many hugs* I hope you get the promotion!

*Hugs*

Amy

I had to do some pondering on this. I am not ready to conceed that he took what you said to get in good with the ex. it could have been a chance meet else where and him finding out when you start talking that she was your ex. And you did ask her who she was seeing. I am not sure she would have told you who he was otherwise. I don't know how long she has been an ex, but alot of energy can be expended trying to keep up with who she is dating. I will have to say, dealing with him on a work level can be uncomfortable if he is the type to start trouble just because. I know alot of you won't agree but thats wht I see. and I am not being critical of you, so please don't get me wrong.

It sounds like when you and the ex was together, you was really in love, and thats the part that hurts, I have been there and that is the hardest emotion to control.

Focus on school and the promotion at work and you daughter. remember, what goes around, comes around. sometimes it takes a while

We officially stopped seeing each other in the middle of July this happend in the middle of Aug. even if he wasn't seeing her, but was thinking of asking her out he shouldn't have reresented me, the fact that right after my thing was over they are dating.