I got this idea from My 3 boys' thread about her friend and I was curious to know what everyone thought about open relationships?

Would you date someone in an open relationship?

That's simple....nooooooooooooooooooooooooo

No.

No way, I want her to be 100% into me. Plus I think its kinds dirty if your having *** with 2 different people, no matter if you know there clean or not.

yes it is dirty....but also with the strong morals and values people SHOULD have, it's wrong. i mean "open relationship" isn't that an oxy moron????? lol

quote:

Originally posted by AFMEDIC:
if your having *** with 2 different people,

Ok, what if you weren't the one with the two partners, but your significant other did. Would that make a difference?

Open relationships isn't about sleeping around with different people. It's about forming a meaningful relationship with more than one partner. As a couple you could decide how many partners are allowed in .. kind of like polyamory, I suppose.

I guess I'm too selfish...

I can't share.

I suppose it could work under the right conditions but I don't like the idea of sharing my coffee with anyone. Look at it this way. Say you are walking down the street with a delicious bowl of oatmeal but you don't have a utensil to eat it with. You see a shiny spoon lying on the ground and decide to pick it up and take a bite. Do you know where that spoon has been and what kinds of germs are on it? I don't think so. Too risky imo. Although, I've learned to never say never.

quote:

Originally posted by rwe1dad:
Say you are walking down the street with a delicious bowl of oatmeal but you don't have a utensil to eat it with. You see a shiny spoon lying on the ground and decide to pick it up and take a bite. Do you know where that spoon has been and what kinds of germs are on it?

Well there's a definite risk in dating but don't we all take that risk to a certain level? If we didn't, we'd all be single. Picking up a spoon and taking a bite gives the impression that one would sleep with a stranger right off the street on some whim. Maybe open relationships give off that impression but I doubt that's how they really work. One would have to be particularly careful to not infect themselves AND their current parnter.

quote:

Originally posted by BASICALLYAMY:
So am I sick and dirty? Morally bankrupt? Nice to know what some people think of me.

I don't think anyone thinks that of you personally. With any topic, there's going to be people who agree and disagree. Some may speak out of ignorance while others speak out of experience.

During my pregnancy and shortly thereafter, I suspected my ex was having an affair(s) but I'd hardly call that an 'open relationship'. Open means both partners are aware of eachother's partners. Infidelity is the opposite of that, isn't it?

To me, relationship and monogomy go hand in hand. It makes no sense morally or spiritually to be ok with being ok having your s.o. have a relationship with someone else and vice versa. It's like polygamy without the marriagem of several partners.

i'm with will on life being shades of gray and not black and white. the older i get, the more black and white it is though. probably as a direct result of my own desire for simple peace and less desire for drama and excitement.

in my late teens/early twenties i had no desire to get married and absolutely dated several men at once. i tended to only sleep with one at a time for several short but monogamous relationships. but i clearly remember dating two men named gary at the same time. yup, slept with them both. nope married neither. had no desire to. i was 19 and life was new everyday. you can "SHOULD" me all you want, i wouldnt give up the experience, or the lesson ---- or the tears if i had the chance to go back in time.

fast-forward to now, and i've not dated in more than a year. my heart would definitely be on the line before any body parts followed along. yet ironically, now that i am sooo mainstream, i get "SHOULD" upon all the time by folks who disapprove of me being a single mom - pregnant alone, raising her alone etc. i'm sure the "SHOULDs" will come out again when i decide to date again.

to answer MJs question - years ago maybe, today not a chance.

quote:

Originally posted by SingleMomAZ:
It's like polygamy without the marriagem of several partners.

That's what polyamory is - polygamy without the marriage. There's another term too, which refers to which *** is having the multiple relationship. I think an open relationship "usually" means both partners are with other people though - whereas polyamory, only one member is.

I don't know. I see what everyone is saying here but I can't exactly say I see anything wrong with it. As long as both adults are in agreeance, safe, and respectful to all members involved .. outside partners, children, spouses.

I think open relationships have the same bad rep as bisexuality. People think it implies they sleep with the whole world.

This topic has been hammered to death here before and it coinsides with similiar topics...
Such as the more recent one night stand thread....
They all beg the same question.....Is it right or wrong......would you could you do it....

Lets get down to basic reality here....
Monogomy is a choice and not a genetic trait in humans...if it were there would be no cheating or affairs..
The fact is humans are just another species in a long list of creatures that inhabit this planet...
We're not all too different from the rooster that runs around bangin all the hens all day....
Except that we've learned to brush our teeth and wipe our asss...

So is it right or wrong.....it's called nature folks and thats the way it was meant to be or it wouldn't be that way...
Would you could you do it....of course...every human would and could...
Some don't only because of the moral structure they were raised in and they make the "choice" not to...
Someone somehow show me that we are "supposed" to be monogomous.....you can't.
And please don't feed me the bible because humans were around a lot longer than the bible...

Fact is.....monogomy is not a genetic trait and we are not only capable of having and enjoying several partners...
We are built for it....and it is man himself that has warped the true context & reality of this issue...

The bottum line here is "Live and Let Live"
You may choose to fall prey to the warped teachings of man....were as I may not.... but we're still the same.


And Will...you give an interesting analogy however it too can be solved quite simply by picking the spoon up spitting on it and wiping it on your pants....dig in....