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keepinghope3
Board Member
Picture of keepinghope3
Posted
I am confused a little because my faith is important, but we are told to date people who are believers as ourselves, well I have been dating a guy with shady past,so he would not be of the same yolk. and I am dating him because he has taken all the steps I think to change the issues he had before, and honestly we all have history, and i believe a man's value is in his heart not his worth, but thinking beyond that, he really doesn't have much right now, living with brother and sis in law, doesn't have a license do to a DWI, when I was confronted with this by a friend, I was angry because I am going to college to be self supportive, and am not looking for a father or husband or any of those things right now, just a companion, and he is very good to me.

I guess I want to perceive this with a good heart, but really don't know where I stand.
Right now I am taking a day at a time, I think he really has some good intentions, and he respects the fact I will not sleep with him, and has been really great about that among other things.

though I have to admit I made it past the phone call and first date jitters.
 
Posts: 35 | Location: minnesota | Registered: 02 July 2005Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
cluelessinmd
I am New to SFV
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quote:
Originally posted by keepinghope3:
[qb] I am confused a little because my faith is important, but we are told to date people who are believers as ourselves, well I have been dating a guy with shady past,so he would not be of the same yolk. and I am dating him because he has taken all the steps I think to change the issues he had before, and honestly we all have history, and i believe a man's value is in his heart not his worth, but thinking beyond that, he really doesn't have much right now, living with brother and sis in law, doesn't have a license do to a DWI, when I was confronted with this by a friend, I was angry because I am going to college to be self supportive, and am not looking for a father or husband or any of those things right now, just a companion, and he is very good to me.

I guess I want to perceive this with a good heart, but really don't know where I stand.
Right now I am taking a day at a time, I think he really has some good intentions, and he respects the fact I will not sleep with him, and has been really great about that among other things.

though I have to admit I made it past the phone call and first date jitters. [/qb]
 
Posts: 3 | Location: Maryland | Registered: 03 June 2006Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
cluelessinmd
I am New to SFV
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Maybe you should allow a few months for him to get on his feet and prove to you and he that he's able to be independent. If he's depending on family and you two become close, I would assume he'll sponge off you. Once you allow it to start it may be difficult to end it without suffering. In situations like that I would ask myself if this is the kind of person I would want my child to become. I know you're keeping the relationship separate from the kids. You won't be putting him down because you're not cutting him loose, but on the other hand you don't want him to think there's a chance he'll be camping out at your doorstep when his relatives get tired of him.

quote:
Originally posted by keepinghope3:
[qb] I am confused a little because my faith is important, but we are told to date people who are believers as ourselves, well I have been dating a guy with shady past,so he would not be of the same yolk. and I am dating him because he has taken all the steps I think to change the issues he had before, and honestly we all have history, and i believe a man's value is in his heart not his worth, but thinking beyond that, he really doesn't have much right now, living with brother and sis in law, doesn't have a license do to a DWI, when I was confronted with this by a friend, I was angry because I am going to college to be self supportive, and am not looking for a father or husband or any of those things right now, just a companion, and he is very good to me.

I guess I want to perceive this with a good heart, but really don't know where I stand.
Right now I am taking a day at a time, I think he really has some good intentions, and he respects the fact I will not sleep with him, and has been really great about that among other things.

though I have to admit I made it past the phone call and first date jitters. [/qb]
 
Posts: 3 | Location: Maryland | Registered: 03 June 2006Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
cluelessinmd
I am New to SFV
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Posted Hide Post
In addition, you are confused for a reason. If your faith in God is as strong as you're implying your gut may be answering your dilemma for you. Listen to your first voice and don't feel guilty about it. If you think long you will think wrong.

quote:
Originally posted by cluelessinmd:
[qb] Maybe you should allow a few months for him to get on his feet and prove to you and he that he's able to be independent. If he's depending on family and you two become close, I would assume he'll sponge off you. Once you allow it to start it may be difficult to end it without suffering. In situations like that I would ask myself if this is the kind of person I would want my child to become. I know you're keeping the relationship separate from the kids. You won't be putting him down because you're not cutting him loose, but on the other hand you don't want him to think there's a chance he'll be camping out at your doorstep when his relatives get tired of him.

quote:
Originally posted by keepinghope3:
[qb] I am confused a little because my faith is important, but we are told to date people who are believers as ourselves, well I have been dating a guy with shady past,so he would not be of the same yolk. and I am dating him because he has taken all the steps I think to change the issues he had before, and honestly we all have history, and i believe a man's value is in his heart not his worth, but thinking beyond that, he really doesn't have much right now, living with brother and sis in law, doesn't have a license do to a DWI, when I was confronted with this by a friend, I was angry because I am going to college to be self supportive, and am not looking for a father or husband or any of those things right now, just a companion, and he is very good to me.

I guess I want to perceive this with a good heart, but really don't know where I stand.
Right now I am taking a day at a time, I think he really has some good intentions, and he respects the fact I will not sleep with him, and has been really great about that among other things.

though I have to admit I made it past the phone call and first date jitters. [/qb]
[/qb]
 
Posts: 3 | Location: Maryland | Registered: 03 June 2006Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
meandme
Active Board Parent
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hi, this a hard question. god does put us in other people life for reasons.maybe as a good friend frist. he the one that got to change frist not becuse you want him to,maybe cause he love you but he has to want to frist. as for even yolk, i struggled with this at times. when i dated ex ,i did not know he was christian but now he is over overly pushy in it, since we are divorce and believes were still married in gods eyes. i allso met alot guys who were not but wonderfull friends and i met guys who were evenly yolk but had many promblems ,we all do have past promples ect , if we are evenly yolk or not. i say be just a friend now, dont let him be to depended on you.yes you can listen to him and help him here and there but in small maounts ,otherwise he will be at your door.
 
Posts: 199 | Location: midwest | Registered: 07 March 2006Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
keepinghope3
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thanks, for clearing that even yolked thing up, I kind of had my doubts as well, about that whole thing,
okay next question, how do I remain in a relationship with this guy and let him become independent. and how does he prove this? by getting a place of his own and stuff? I would love some advice in this area!
 
Posts: 35 | Location: minnesota | Registered: 02 July 2005Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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