I tend to get long-winded, so I'll try to be breif.

I met someone online around Christmas time, and we have since gotten to know each other well. We met in person one time (I went there), and we have sort of had a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship (online).

About two weeks ago, I came to the conclusion that I am not happy with a long distance relationship.

I do not think my feelings match his... and I told him I would like to be his friend, but I did not have the same feelings as he does, and I am not ready to take our relationship to any new levels. He wants to move here and move in with me & my kids. I am not ready for that.

We have continued to chat online, and a little bit on the phone - tho not nearly as much as before.

Today, I told him out of respect that I had been asked out to lunch on Sunday, and I am planning to go.

He accused me of being unfaithful, and a liar.

My response was ... I may have been confused, and sent mixed signals. (because in truth, I really like the guy a lot)

But - I never dated while we were "together" .. even tho he lives in Missouri and I live in California. My lunch plans on Sunday are barely even a date with a male friend of mine from the Eagles.

What do you think?

if you told him you don't feel that way for him why would he act like you have a exclusive relationship. Anyway, you told him you didn't want to go further, for him to get clingie is wrong. This might also go to charector also.

Sheesh I though I was bad with a long distance relationship in OH, about 10hrs away, Mo to SOCAL is a long way.

Yeah .. it sure is. He said asking him to be a friend is a "slap in the face request" ... so I told him I respect that, but if he changes his mind, I'm here.

He's a nice guy, but from his reaction to this - I sense he feels a bit sorry for himself, and is not willing to see things any way but how he sees it. Thanks for responding, I was hoping to get a male point of view.

I have my lunch date on Sunday, and I'm keeping it. I'm in no hurry to get serious with anyone... as we all know, it's very complicated with kids.

I hope to gain a special friend, a guy to date when I don't have my kids - who understands, and wants something light and casual for awhile.

Later on, who knows :-)

thanks Paul

10 hours is nothing, btw --- my first online relationship (yes, I spend too much time on the computer) was Ontario, Canada!!!

I think you are right and that his feelings are much different than yours.

I mean that he wants to move there and move in with you and the kids is huge. Hardly a step for a young relationship.

Hang in there Inni.
The eagles you say.... hmmm

For him to react the way he is reacting after a short time- only seeing each other 1 time, almost seems scary. That should be a warning. But if you told him the way you feel, and that you do not wish to further the relationship, you should in no way shape or form feel guilty. Don't put your life on hold for an online relationship when mr. right could be at your door step. Good luck to you.

SELE,

Ya know, thank you! - I was actually starting to think that myself. His reaction was pretty childish and immature... and I should not feel guilty.

I also realized, I feel very sorry for him. He does seems so sad and lonely, but ya know ... sympathy is not a basis for a relationship either.

I've moved on. I went on a first date yesterday, and had a very nice time.

Thanks for the great advice.

inni

i have a story some what like yours. and we both came to the conclusion you did. but today we are very close friends, just about like best friends but we each know that it is best for the both of us if we remain as friends.
but i dont think you mislead him or lied to him. sounds like he is mad.

Hmmm, I thought you went on a third date with someone you liked? What's the scoop on him?

Inni please dont let that other guys reaction bother you.He sounds like to close to to many warning signs.Eric my ex went around a few weeks ago to my kids friends and said I was sleeping with him and Mark at the same time.My sons were so mad.This other guy wants to move in then aquises u of sleeping around .He needs help but not yours sweetheart it is your turn to shine move forward.Love and hugs Gail

I agree, he just shot a whole bunch of red flags flying into the sky. This is not an appropriate reaction for the situation. You are not in the wrong.