Yeah, none of us needs some jackass playing HokeyPokey with our emotions....

I know you guys are right...I just want my happy ending. Like I told TD the other night I'm the hopeless romantic who wishes that everyone would find their special someone and live happily ever after. It's out there I know it...I just wish it would find me.

My logical side tends to agree with the guys here. This guy's behavior suggests that he's either a player or a bit of a flake. Or just a big sissy.

But my chick side says "what would be the harm in talking to him?" Maybe he is really sorry and he's changed his mind. Maybe you could have happily ever after with this guy.

I see nothing wrong with being totally honest with him. Tell him how his behavior affected you. Ask him the tough questions about why he left and what his intentions are. And try to do that with a skeptical mind. The first time he says something that doesn't sound right to you, put the fork in him.

This is the message I came home from work to today...this is what makes it so hard to just walk away.

"I love you too. I miss you very much. I just wish I didn't hurt so much and you had to suffer because of my past.

You're everything I had ever wanted and prayed for and you are the sweetest thing. That's why I couldn't stay. I don't want to hurt you because I know I'm on a destructive path right now... you deserve a lot more than myself. Maybe that will explain what happened that day in . I miss you so much and I can't stop thinking about you.

Every morning I wake up, go to your page and look at your page and the pictures of the boys.

It's painful enough to know I let someone as wonderful as you go.

Love,"

Part of the trap is using half-truths.
yes he needs help, but he wants you to wait for him. Why? Why should you be the one to wait on him? He had his shot and missed.
You are a better lady than that, than to wait on a loser to find himself.
Maybe, just maybe you and the other SFV ladys need to start looking for Mr. Right, right here.
Who else knows what your going though, than the guys here?
Maybe I'm out of line. If so forgive me.
But you are far to pretty to be chasing a loser like this guy.

Dawg

He's hurt. He says he doesn't want to hurt you, and yet he's using you as an emotional crutch instead of dealing with his own pain.

he's on a destructive path all right. Don't let him take you down with him. Do both of you a favor and cut the cord

from the sounds of it, I've been in this guys shoes before. In the long run, he's got to deal with that pain on his own, if you are there he will only avoid it

quote:

Originally posted by Don:
I'm with Jaylie on this one and hoping that this is about him coming to his senses. I'd say it's time to ask him some direct questions to keep from having to wonder and get some answers......

After reading that message....I'd like to take back what I said above......I gave it a shot, I hoped, I watched the ball fly through the air........and it was a brick.
If I squint just right and speed read that message, it almost sounds good.

I know he has issues he needs to deal with and I know that I'm not going to wait on him. It's just hard right now. No you aren't out of line Dawg b/c you are right outside of this site no one other than my closest female friends know about the situation and they don't even know as much as you guys. I wrote in my journal the other day exactly what I'm looking for in a guy and realized that I've never met that person...that one person that has all of those things I'm looking for. Maybe he is right here on this site . I guess only time will tell where he is and when I'll meet him.

i guess i'd want to know more about the destructive path he's on right now and if he is willing to change paths to get you back? he is feeling sorry for himself yet not taking action to right his wrongs... frustrating. he's talking the talk, now he just needs to walk the walk...

To be honest I have no idea what destructive path he's talking about. The last weekend we spent together everything was fine, or at least it seemed that way. To be honest things were better than they'd ever been, then abruptly it ended. He left for three weeks of training and that was it. Then he was home briefly we met to exchange things we'd left at one another's house...except he conveniently forgot to return my house key...then he left for another five weeks. He's not even in the area right now. I guess it's even more frustrating b/c I had no intention of getting in to a serious relationship with anyone...and he's not even my normal type. But he was aggressive in pursuing me and somehow caught me off guard. It was the things he said and did that made me fall for him and then his daughters are awesome and we had this immediate connection, especially is youngest daughter and I. I just don't understand why he pursued me with so much determination only to catch me and throw me back. You're right Laurie he said all the right things and had no follow through. It definitely makes me want to give up on dating or at least dating that might potentially lead to something serious.

quote:

I wrote in my journal the other day exactly what I'm looking for in a guy and realized that I've never met that person...that one person that has all of those things I'm looking for. Maybe he is right here on this site

*standing on tip-toes waving galantly*.........HA....I Wish...

I know what you're thinking...oh no HB's take on this......I'll be serious.

When I read the message the first thing that popped into my head was Seinfeld and I was watching an episode with george going on about his dating. One can sense his pain but ask yourself...is it live or is it memorex. No one will ever accuse this guy of being stable will they. And stability is in important in a realtionship. Even more important where kids are concerned. I don't know this guy and I'm not a shrink but if this message is complete as he wrote it...and I believe it is...there are some real telltale signs of some real issues here. Issues I wouldn't take lightly where my children are involved. The best advise I could give you is to not fall into a trap here emotionally and in fact I think you should stop any further correspondance with him. People like this will either keep trying and this will get ugly or they will move on to someone who will fall for it. So let someone else fall for it. I know the bleeding heart romantics here will bash me on this stand...yes cap I'm talking bout you....but sometimes decision making is best done using your head and going with your hunches and not your heart. Reality is that this guy, per this message alone, is either very unstable or a very good player and he's playing on your emotions. Do either one of those two things come close to matching what you wrote in your journal...I'm guessing not.

One last thought too...does this guy still have the key to your house? If so I'd change the locks myself.


Nuff serious......back to the dunk tank.....hey I have reputation you know....

quote:

Originally posted by missabb:
The first time he says something that doesn't sound right to you, put the fork in him.

I don't want to hurt you because I know I'm on a destructive path right now... you deserve a lot more than myself.

Fork time?